jokes that will literally never not be funny to me:
- saying “speedrun strats” every time you fuck up
- saying “first try” when you’ve tried the thing like 15 times, minimum
- saying “skill issue” when something is 100% outside of anyone’s control
elwindss-movedto-5seraphim-deac
JUSTICE WINS ❗ ~ please credit and reblog if using
elwindss-movedto-5seraphim-deac
JUSTICE WINS ❗ ~ please credit and reblog if using
chauvinistsushi
Cyborg realness
Hey you got a portable charger, my arms dead.
i don’t know what version of hell we’re living in but it’s definitely the funniest
My favorite quotes from the stream (as I was able to jot them down as they were being said)
- Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because it happened.
- What is a graveyard if not humanity’s hall of fame?
- It’s like I’m fondling the balls of life.
- Choose to spend time on what fulfills you, on what makes you happy… Every second is a chance to turn your life around.
- When I die, I want to be an empty shell, having given every part of myself to creating.
- The worst part of this was when the boiling hot piss shot out onto my foot.
- No, that was pain; this is suffering. (technically from the pee sauna vid but they watched it during the stream it counts)
- At the end of the day, you know: pizza’s pizza, piss is piss.
- We have experienced something that no human ever has, and that’s incredible.
- We’re not just two grown men who drank each other’s piss. We’re two grown men who bathed in each other’s piss.
- How you respond to events that are out of your control defines you as a person.
- Unus annus dot com: hey hey, wow wow.
- I feel like a lot of people will feel lost tomorrow. And that’s okay.
- It had to be a piece of us that we put out there… and then let go.
- A year is many things to many people. But it is not forever.
- “Memento Mori” has two meanings: remember death or remember that you will die, but also remember to live.
Edit: I have been told in the notes that I missed some absolute gems, so here’s a more complete list!
- I’d cry myself to sleep if I wasn’t gonna be dead in five and a half hours.
- Every second is just another chance to get dick.
- Mark: I’ve never been hit by a car before, how do I know I won’t enjoy it? Amy: We could take this out to the parking lot if you want to test it.
- I want to be Mr. Hybrid Wellness, now.
- We’ve been edging Father Time for a whole year.
- I wanna make it through this year and it kills me.
- A second is nothing. But a second can change someone’s life.
little-miss-hothead
as is this one
trannyranny
so is this one!!
toesuckler-but-spooky
amd tbis one!!
Not one for politics but I guess
This is just The Magnus Institute.
Nope.
They have a gas-based firefighting system instead of sprinklers for obvious reasons. It does lower the percentage of oxygen in the building, but not enough to kill anyone.
I found this by googling “Yale library fire oxygen.” It was literally the first result.
Fact-checking is your friend.
It’s true. It’s not the fire suppression system that kills you. The Librarians come and personally murder you for starting a fire in a library. But you didn’t start a fire you say? No matter. You are collateral damage. Everybody gets killed to show that arsonists have no chance of escaping justice
My grandma told me every time you move the clasp of a necklace from the front of your neck to the back, you should make a wish. I’m now using this as a small day to day spell
@ all my Binder Wearing pals!
Please remember:
- Take your binder off at a decent time!
- Don't sleep in your binder!
- WASH IT!!
- Have a day off every now and again for your physical health!
- Take a moment to stretch and breathe!
(People who don't wear binders can and should reblog)
gotinstarblog-deactivated201512
hoodoo-hoodlum
I’m so mad because this worked
help me roger
Reblogging myself because… what was that? Five minutes?
O_O
………my friend has made me curious
help me roger
Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director
These never work for me, but here’s to trying.
- I don’t believe in these things
- But last time I reblogged one ten/fifteen minutes later I got a call offering me a job
- But I reblogged it because I was waiting on hearing back from the job. So there you go.
- Roger is cute.
the-crystal-queen
Eh Roger is cute I might as well
That fish is so happy it makes me happy.
Reblogging myself because I reblogged this yesterday and got promoted today!
Why not. Do me a solid Roger
roger it’s time. i hope i have not asked for too much from you but you know what i want.
thesqhq
C’mon Roger. I need you.
baldbrothasworld
Ummm-Huh…
Fuck with yo boy Rog!!!
Please let something amazing & unexpected happen
Send me something amazing Roger!
Send me some luck roger !
fordroyer1
My name is roger!….but here it goes
Love you R.
I’m going on a plane tomorrow and I’m freaking out. Please help me, Roger 😢
SAY IT AGAIN FOR FUCKIN EVERYBODY
HIGH KEY REMINDER
bigwandsnmistletoe
well at least I know I’m immune to trickster love gods
I’m terrified what do you see about this post that the rest of us dont
