I have no doubt in my mind that I will die by my own hands.

whoever decided to put little ballerinas in jewellery boxes & play classical music , genius , I would like to give them a kiss

my emo phase never went away it just aged like fine wine

Hey future historians, please note that although tumblr is a fountain of hyberbolic sarcasm, there is exactly 0% sarcasm or hyperbole in this post.

things to take * a nap * it easy * care

* on me

* me on

things i love:

-space

-the ocean

things i am terrified of:

-space

-the ocean

being caught taking selfies is one of lifes most embarrassing moments. 

omg her peace sign lowering in shame

Today the lady behind me in line at the grocery store checkout politely tapped my shoulder and when I turned around she motioned toward my giant bundles of kale and asked: “what do you do with your kale? Do you cook with it, or make juice, or…?” And i admitted there in front of god and the world “oh I feed it to my peacocks.” And she just looked so taken aback that I said “I’m sorry that’s not the answer you were hoping for”

And that’s how I learned other people don’t really know what to do with kale either. We’re all pretty sure it’s edible, though.

People are sending me kale recipes like they honestly believe I will try to eat bird food

I’m sorry I’m hung up on the part where op owns peacocks

Purple ones:

And peahens. This one sleeps on a fluffy rainbow unicorn stuffed animal:

Her name is Artemis and she’s allergic to food.

This is Stan. His color morph is called Cameo so I named him Stan Lee:

He’s Artemis’ boyfriend.

They both love kale. I suppose someone’s got to.

OP Tell them I love them!

Are they good guard birds?

That depends on your definition of ‘guard.’

They won’t defend other birds from predators like raccoons or weasels or coyotes or anything. They’re just as likely to get eaten in those cases.

However, they will harass snakes and other small, novel animals like mice, rabbits, wild birds, etc if they can get away with it. They will also yell at anything they disapprove of including but not limited to:

I needed this post today. I’m reblogging because I’m sure someone else needs it too. ❤️

some ppl who grew up with siblings didnt rly Grow Up With Siblings. like if you and your brother are 10 yrs apart u just dont get it… if you had siblings within 3yrs of your age you had the genuine experience of primitive undeveloped human brains pummeling the shit out of each other because none of us have developed frontal cortices and the laws of man don’t apply in the confines of this house

REBLOG IF YOU HAVE STRETCHMARKS

This way girls and boys can see they’re not alone. I have them and this would help me see that.

*gently headbutts u in the shoulder to show affection*

*absentmindedly pats your entire face to acknowledge affection received*

Tbh im kinda pissed im not asleep in bed next to the love of my life in a cottage with no obligations other than watering my vegetable garden

adhd sucks cause one bad thing happens then suddenly u feel suicidal out of nowhere over stupid shit and u know its stupid but u cant just push the feelings away bc ur stupid brain makes u feel everything intensely at 100% at all times so mild sadness turns into complete suffering and agony