Chloe

when the internet was so innocent :^)

Thanks American Girl!

I’m doing a social experiment called ‘agreeing with boys when they compliment you’. 

the results: 

perf example of how uncomfortable boys are with women owning their own awesomeness. for many men, beauty, coolness, desirability are gifts they alone can bestow upon women. they get baffled, even aggressive when you show you’ve known you possess those things all along. 

i love this experiment! 

can I cop this

stop global warming i don’t look good in shorts

breaking news: jurassic world breaks film industry barriers by not using real dinosaurs

friend: i’m getting mcdonalds you want anything?

me: i don’t have money

friend: it’s all good, i’ll pay

me:

i believe in hate at first sight

Bug

he has a w on his forehead

wario

how does phone sex end?

someone: [flirts with me]

me: they are probably just being nice, they probably do this with everyone

someone: [asks me on a date]

me: it’s not a date, it’s just a friend get together thing, probably.

someone: [confesses their love for me]

me: they are probably just being sarcastic

until last year i genuinely thought i saw mommy kissing santa claus was actually about the mother cheating on her husband with santa, like it never occurred to me that her husband was dressed up as santa

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