Source: twitter.com
The main four of the genders!
1. Barbie!
2. Ken!
3. Allan!
4. Weird Barbie!
there's something evil about mattell selling "weird barbie". she wasn't created, she was made. like, she wassn't designed to be like that, she became like that through use and through love and hate and emotion and childhood. weird barbie literally is the way she is because she was played with too hard. you can't just MAKE that. it's like fucking pre-ripped jeans or fucking pseudo-punk shit being sold at forever 21. it's capitalism run rampant. it misses the point. it's trying to capitalize on your experience, and i fucking hate it. i hate it. i hate it.
#girlfail (ft.weird Barbie and Ken to fill up the canvas)
I got the Barbie edition of People Mag and turns out there’s a deleted scene between Beach Ken and Weird Barbie?!?? When do we get to see this masterpiece
hitting you hitting you hitting you hitting you hi-
The elderly woman Barbie shares a smile with is not Barbara Handler, but in fact costume designer, Ann Roth.
Ann Roth has had a long career as the costume designer for a wide range of movies, including one of my favorites, Mamma Mia!
Some things about Allan:
- He’s the only one who reacts to the narrator
- He’s the only doll (besides the Weird House) who isn’t swayed in some way by Ken’s takeover
- He also declares himself as “Ken’s buddy" (making canon his official box description) which makes his inability to be swayed more interesting
- He has bendable legs (probably the only reason he tries to jump the fence instead of going around like everyone else)
- He easily decked a half-dozen construction Kens and could probably singlehandedly win the Ken fight
- He seems to know more about the real world than most Barbies
- He knows what NSYNC is
- He knows about other Allan copies living in the real world (I’m trying to figure out if he made this up to convince the humans he can live in the real world, but even if he did, how does he know what NSYNC is???)
- There are no other Allan models
Allan acknowledges the narrators voice, saying that he’s confused about how there’s only one Allan. This means he hears the narrator and understands what she says.
Later in the movie, when Barbie is crying about how she isn’t pretty anymore, the narrator cuts in to say as a note to the movie creators that Margot Robbie was probably not the best casting choice to make that point. Allan, able to hear and understand the creators voice must have heard this and therefore must know that he is in a movie.
When he is attempting to escape barbieland, Allan pulls a bunch of fighting moves out of nowhere, fighting off several Kens despite the Kens being the stereotype of a strong atheletic guy and Allan being Micheal Cera. It is my hypothesis that this power and strength comes from Allan being aware he is in a movie and therefore, like in a lucid dream, able to manipulate his reality in order to pull off feats like taking on five Kens at once (in a fight). In this essay I will-
The Barbie movie isn't about girl power. It's not about how women can do everything they set their mind to. It's about how sometimes women are tired and average and that has to be okay too, because you don't have to do everything to be worth anything. (And that this is also true of men.)
“It’s literally impossible to be a woman.
You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we're always doing it wrong?
You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you wanna be thin. You have to say you wanna be healthy, but also, you have to BE THIN.
You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.
You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.
You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.
You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time.
You have to be a career woman, but also, always be looking out for other people.
You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is INSANE, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining!
You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood, but ALWAYS STAND OUT and ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that but ALSO, always be grateful!
You have to never get old. Never be rude. Never show off. Never be selfish. Never fall down. Never fail. Never show fear. Never get OUT OF LINE. It's too hard! It's too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says 'thank you!' And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also, everything is your fault.
I'm just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman tie herself into knots, so that people will like us.
And if all of that, is also true for a doll just representing a woman, then I don't even know." -Gloria the barbie movie
this is it. this is exactly it oh my god.
This is the speech. Write it on every goddamn wall out there.
Anybody else got that Evergiven sized writers block
“Where’s the next chapter?!” Well buddy you’re never gonna guess
What’s the comic sans trick?
wingdings’ true purpose as a font
Wingdings holy shit some of y'all are on a whole different level of galaxy wizard brain batshittery and I am in awe.
Exciting. When I don’t want to see what I’m writing I just make the font color almost indistinguishable from the background color. (Do not do this.)
(I don’t think the secret to the comic sans hack is comic sans itself; I think it’s any deflation of being intimidated by your canvas.)
Hold on I need to go look something up immediately.
WrittenKitten is so very useful. Though you don’t always get kittens. You get photos that are labelled as cats or kittens. The puppy dressed as a tiger is pretty adorbs. Sometimes you get furries. It’s cute.
It’s also really useful for stripping out auto formatting and making sure stuff really does C&P as plain text. I use it for that at work, because Windows.