'the human body is perfect god doesnt make mistakes' what about wisdom teeth then. huh. gonna let those bastards grow in and fuck up your jaw for god. didnt think so
also the exploding appendix
there's an entire book about all the ways the human body is fucked up, but the highlights I remember are: -The blood vessels for our rods and cones in our eyes don't run behind them but rather in front of them. It's like putting the power cables *over* a camera's lens -the nasal sinus cavities fucked up during evolution. when our skulls shortened, we went from having a straight shot from one end to the other to having basically a basin which can collect mucus, which then has the actual exit for the chamber at the top of it. this normally isn't a problem bc cillia can work viscous mucus up it, but when we get sick and produce super watery mucus, it no longer works, which is why our noses get stuffed up. the book is called Human Errors: A Panorama of Our Glitches, from Pointless Bones to Broken Genes. I recommend it.
Most mammals can’t get scurvy. They make their own Vitamin C. But in primates, the gene to make it is broken. Normally, when an important gene breaks, the organism dies and has no surviving descendants, but when it broke a few million years ago, our ancestors were living in a lush climate with lots of fruit and survived the failure just fine.
Then humans invented fire and clothing, and moved to colder climates where fresh food was only available part of the year, and scurvy was born.
And our reproduction, oh heavens. There are SO MANY WAYS that human reproduction is fucked up that simply DO NOT APPLY to other animals, even the our nearest relatives, the great apes. When a gorilla is giving birth, she finds a nice hiding place in the trees, squats down for like half an hour, and pushes out a baby. Humans, not so much. In fact, the outcomes of unassisted childbirth in humans are so poor that most anthropologists agree that we must have invented midwifery in some form before we became fully human.
the problem is that pretty much all pride flags are horizontal, theres no vertical tricolours or anything
bisexual ireland
bireland
Trance
Do you get episodic dreams? For the past while Ive been playing through this 360 game where you have to raise horses and then you send them off into a dungeon. Bought it at gamestop and everything, it was used though and had that generic sleeve that they used to put in the case sometimes. There was this visceral birthing section of it where you had to maneuver the analog sticks in the right way to help the horse out of the womb and then you could feed it and brush it etc. last night I fed the horse it's "last meal" and had to watch it explore the dungeon.
hahaha what the fuck man
white 44 year old twitter user with a03 addict in their bio: omg the dad from cocomelon is actually kind of a litty dilf? and his relationship with the mailman is kind of enemies to lovers villaincore let me know if i should make them both pee on eachother
worlds youngest and yet most verbose baby online: can you seriously like knock if off man im trying to learn about the rhombus
white 44 year old twitter user with a03 addict in their bio: fuck off worlds youngest and yet most verbose baby. just another puriteen minor inserting themselves into adult spaces. go play in the sandbox Also heres ur dox: 123 Circle Road ..... yea i have that....if someone shows up to your house and shoots you and kills you then thats deserved 🤷♂️ know your fucking place and get the hell out of the cocomelon fandom if youre not ready to see dark topics
a scientist at mit about to change the world forever: i just made my own centipede by sewing all the dead flies in my room together with all the dead ants in my room 😃☝️
the first man made centipede: kill me again
It’s as shrimple as that 🍤
I laughed WAY too hard at this.
There’s no such thing as laughing too hard, only laughing enough to explain your joy. Never understate or minimize the ways in which you experience happiness peace and love
The thing about Peggy hill is you see her in some episodes and you might think well this woman has some lesbionic mannerisms. but the truth is she's just one of those very sporty southern moms who inexplicably gets away with not upholding their side of the gender roles even in communities where everyone is kinda expected to do that. Like she kinda gets to do what she wants. Cause she's Peggy that's just how Peggy is. And she has a husband and a kid so they're like ok fine I guess
Like if you told her she looked gay here she would laugh really awkwardly and be like Well, I hope you mean that as in "happy", because in that case I am positively gay. I am so gay and in love with my wonderful husband Hank. And Hank would be like *texan sigh* Peggy, You can't go around tellin people you're "gay" for me. People are gonna start to get the wrong idea. And then shed accuse Hank of being homophobic and double down
Just found out my facebook birding group is public because my cousin (a lawyer who is not into birds) casually said to me “saw you couldn’t identify a willet the other day… pretty embarrassing”
The oracle hides a terrible secret: She's a time traveler from the future, none of her prophecies are prophecies they're just things she remembers about history
She also has an even more terrible secret. She's from really far in the future, and history wasn't her best subject in school.
"Oracle I beseech you. I am King Elorü XII and I plan to wage war against the Empire of Elsun. How will this war go?"
The oracle, only vaguely remembering hearing something about a long-lasting Empire of Elsun and having no clue who Elorü is:"Uhhhhh, badly?"
"Anyone can upload anything and anyone can delete anything" is moderation strategy that seems interesting and might have some niche uses. Particularly for minimizing the need for admin input, since "you are hosting illegal content" seems less convincing if the police (just like anyone else) can delete the illegal content.
I like this idea. Let's carry it to its logical conclusion: a social media website that has only one post, which anyone can edit.
We'll call it Greenr.
Welcome to the future, where you don’t own anything and the stuff you rent stops working once your phone has no signal.
App powered car? 🤦♀️
I wish people remembered the age old wisdom that if something doesn’t absolutely require an Internet connection to function, it shouldn’t be connected to the internet - same goes for apps.
WHY IS A CATFOOD DISPENSER CONNECTED TO THE INTERNET
Sometimes I’m glad that I’m too poor for my “cool future stuff” monkey brain to be set loose to buy stupid shit like this.
please please please do not buy into the Internet of Things. Digital displays for appliances are one thing, but you shouldn’t need the fucking internet to do your laundry or use the fridge.
Reblog graph of the day is: Wholly organic not reblogged by thousands of pornbots straight from the source butter
Holy shit it’s been reblogged 9 thousand times straight from the source.
Last week I accidentally took an edible at 10x my usual dose. I say “accidentally” but it was really more of a “my friend held it out to my face and I impulsively swallowed it like a python”, which was technically on purpose but still an accident in that my squamate instincts acted faster than my ability to assess the situation and ask myself if I really wanted to get Atreides high or not.
Anyway. I was painting the wall when it hit. My friend heard me make a noise and asked what was wrong—I explained that I had just fallen through several portals. I realized that painting the wall fulfilled my entire hierarchy of needs, and was absolutely sure that I was on track to escaping the cycle of samsara if I just kept at it a little longer. I was thwarted on my journey towards nirvana only by the fact that I ran out of paint.
Seeking a surrogate act of humble service through which I might be redeemed and made human, I turned to unwashed dishes in the sink and took up the holy weapon of the sponge. I was partway through cleaning the blender when it REALLY hit.
You ever clean a blender? It’s a shockingly intimate act. They are complex tools. One of the most complicated denizens of the kitchen. Glass and steel and rubber and plastic. Fuck! They’ve got gaskets. You can’t just scrub ‘em and rinse them down like any other piece of shit dish. You’ve got to dissemble them piece by piece, groove by sensitive groove, taking care to lavish the spinning blades with cautious attention. There’s something sensual about it. Something strangely vulnerable.
As I stood there, turning the pieces over in my hands, I thought about all the things we ask of blenders. They don’t have an easy job. They are hard laborers taking on a thankless task. I have used them so roughly in my haste for high-density smoothies, pushing them to their limits and occasionally breaking them. I remembered the smell of acrid smoke and decaying rubber that filled the kitchen in the break room the last time I tried to make a smoothie at work—the motor overtaxed and melted, the gasket cracked and brittle. Strawberry slurry leaked out of it like the blood of a slain animal.
Was this blender built to last? Or was it doomed to an early grave in some distant landfill by the genetic disorder of planned obsolescence? I didn’t know, and was far too high to make an educated guess. But I knew that whatever care and tenderness and empathy I put into it, the more respect for the partnership of man and machine, the better it would perform for me.
This thought filled me with a surge of affection. However long its lifespan, I wanted it to be filled with dignity and love and understanding. I thought: I bet no one has hugged this blender before. And so I lifted it from its base.
A blender is roughly the size and shape of a human baby. Cradling one in your arms satisfies a primal need. A month ago I was permitted to hold an infant for the first time in my life, an experience which was physically and psychologically healing. I felt an echo of that satisfaction holding my friend the blender, and the thought of parting with it felt even more ridiculous than bringing it with me to hang out on my friend’s bed.



