This old heart is tougher than it seems

You know what absolutely boggles my mind? That healthy people exist. Genuinely healthy people. No mental illness, no physical illness, no chronic illness. Just healthy. What a life that must be. 

ig: natalia_amo

excuse me, which level of hell is this?

very sexy of me to be isolating myself and rotting into the floor

Let me just take the time to put myself together for a minute and find the right words to say here. I have come to a place where I am completely numb to almost everything. I don’t feel pain, I don’t feel happy. I’m just so empty that nothing I do seems to fill the void.

Food doesn’t taste like food anymore, and sleep is nothing but a stranger. Not too long ago someone sent me a message on Instagram, saying that my writings were better in the past, and that I am running out of things to write. And whoever that person is, you deserve a trophy because you’re right. I feel just the same.

Because in the past, I was able to feel. I was able to put my raw feelings and emotions into words and leave them out in the open. But now, I feel nothing. Not even my own words. Not even myself. I am just so out of place that I feel like every part of me is shutting down, giving out on me.

Right now as I type this, I am nothing more than an empty carcass that still breathes. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry that my words are becoming just like me; dead. Thank you for your love and support as always. And once again, I’m sorry.

Your ever loving,

Lukas W.

Saw your worst and i stayed.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I know I hurt you, but that doesn’t mean I’d take it back.”