stars and satellites and supernovas

We should talk more about what a dick move it is to name horror movie villains regular-ass people names.

Michael Meyers? Dick move. How many thousands of Mr. Michael Meyers are out there every day meeting people going "Ope! Haha Michael Meyers! Oh just don't kill me! Haha." Shut up. Meyers et al should kill you, and John Carpenter for causing this.

You know who did this right? Thomas Harris. Named his villain just the right inconceivable combination of sounds. I don't think there are any fucking Hannibal Lecters out there uncomfortably laughing off cannibal jokes in a job interview. And if there are, then I think they've got bigger problems coming from parents willing to name a squishy little baby Hannibal Fucking Lecter.

"Hannibal Fucking Lecter, you were named after the best chance at achieving internet privacy in the digital age because all attempts to search for you will be buried beneath three decades worth of horror movie discourse and an unspeakable amount of Hannigram porn."

well what if i want to bite the hand that feeds me but fondly. gently. what then

maybe i want to sink my teeth in. Lovingly

Ive been spending my free time watching dracula adaptations and good god you guys were NOT kidding about them doing jonathan and mina dirty, I have watched 17 movies so far, you wanna know how many of them actually did them justice??

ONE!!! (dracula (2006) i enjoyed it a lot, I'd definitely recommend it)

Your BRAIN @doctorbluesmanreturns! How is this the best description of The Mummy ever!?

/opens mouth

/closes mouth

Holy shit

may the last two months of 2023 be filled with pleasant plot twists, spontaneous fun, soft beds, and good vibes

Michael Sheen in Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)

So in the interests of *coughcoughcough* cultural research, I watched Underworld: Rise of the Lycans at the weekend. I do not regret this decision, although that may have something to do with the quantity of gin and tonic I consumed in the process.

The basic concept is vampires versus werewolves (known as Lycans, for some reason) in a cod-medieval world where everyone wears a lot of leather and nobody ever switches the lights on. Michael Sheen plays Lucian the Lycan, who has a forbidden fling with a vampire lady and leads an uprising against the fascist vampire overlord. Basically, he plays werewolf Spartacus with an allergy to shirts, a full breeze in his questionable hair extensions and just a hint of a Welsh accent.

The level of thespian commitment which Mr Sheen displays to this dramatic batshit is kind of delightful. In a sane world, nobody would cast him as a ripped action hero, but this is not a sane world and a classy British character actor never says die. So fuck it, tonight he’s going to be Jason Statham and you’re going to enjoy it. And I certainly did.

As a bonus, there’s also a ridiculous sex scene in which he hangs backwards off the edge of a CGI cliff, cantilevered only by a lady vampire sitting on his groin. Which is certainly an innovative approach to sexual mechanics, albeit one that mortal viewers shouldn’t try at home.

reblogging for the advice not to try this at home (plus … everything else)

Just gonna… Put this here… For reasons.

Cerberus Dog Costumes

Via I Have Seen The Whole Of The Internet

Persephone, drunk crying: I don’t have enough hands!!!

Am I high is this a real post I'm seeing

Halloween. Is it just a date on the calendar that people from England don't know about? Or is it a state of mind? Or is it a state of being?

omfg that is just too adorable

This will always be one of my favorite comics ever. It gives me warm fuzzies~

This is the most perfect.

This kitteh having a little halloween adventure is one of my favourite posts of all time :)

I love Practical Magic because it’s the best story about sisters, the best story about witches, and the absolute WORST story about how to cover up a murder.

i hope you write (i hope we both write)

hand in unedited hand

Fairuza Balk, Robin Tunney, Neve Campbell, and Rachel True behind the scenes of The Craft (1996)

requested by anonymous