Kitty Unpretty

@unpretty / unpretty.space

πŸ’™ 30-something πŸ’™ She/Her πŸ’™ Queer πŸ’™ Latina πŸ’™ Polyamorous πŸ’™ Certified Dick Wizard πŸ’™ Shit For Brains πŸ’™ Welcome to unpretty.space, I'm a huge bitch and I'm dumb as hell. I reblog every damn thing and write about weird monster dicks. I will not apologize to Alton Brown. Posts by me are #original. Some people seem to like #fanfic and #ficblogging. I've also got #greatest hits. Other than that, my tags are fucking useless. If you need things tagged, you're better off following me through kittyunpretty.com or unpretty@ao3.

A half-feral hero, a monster king, a bastard prince, and an open world. Bound by destiny, they save or slay one another, an endless cycle of death and rebirth. When the Moonlight Monster rises, the Starlight Hero is Astielle’s only hope. Unfortunately, she’s a little busy with her rock collection.

β˜½βœ·β˜€

Astielle is a free webnovel about the Starlight Hero (Minnow), her nemesis the Moonlight Monster (King Karzarul), and his nemesis the Sunlight Heir (Prince Leonas). It is an endless reincarnation cycle enemies-to-lovers speedrun and slow burn about trying to avoid the main quest by doing every possible sidequest instead. It's about trying to get your friend away from his shitty family and into your polycule instead. It is over 200k words, and almost 40k of them are a flashback to completely different characters thousands of years before the main story. A lot of readers tell me it is very funny, or that it made them cry. It was supposed to be PWP. It is a hot fucking mess in progress.

"You shouldn't let her eat rocks," Ari said.
"If she wants to eat a rock," Leonas said, "there is nothing on this or any other plane of existence that I can do to stop her from eating the fucking rock."
"I spit it back out," Minnow said. She was regretting ever telling him about the rock. "Can we move on, please? I would like to move on."

Astielle features:

Farming | Fishing | Cooking | Fast-travel | Monster-fucking | Murder | Extremely round pigs | Extremely small chickens | A mystery-solving teen | Traveling bards | Gratuitous face-fucking | The homeowner's association | Magical dreams | Zombies | Nihilism as a coping mechanism for undiagnosed depression | Politics | Using a sword as an all-purpose adventuring tool | Tax evasion | At least one monster gangbang | Spider's Gorge | Pirates | Unreliable narrators | Incorrect historical records | The looming specter of religious nationalism | Churros
Source: href.li
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i've been using a fitbit Forever but it's been going to shit since google bought it and now it eats my phone battery and doesn't give me notifications. i'm gonna try switching to a garmin and hoping the app doesn't suck.

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i tried clearing all fitbit data, reinstalling, disabling background data, restricting battery use, force quitting the app, and turning off bluetooth for hours at a time. but fitbit was still somehow managing to eat 10% of my phone battery an hour. i had to start charging my phone at work to make it through the day. i uninstalled it yesterday and today by 5pm my phone was still at 75% without having to charge at all. what the fuck is that app doing.

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(x)

Miyazaki: β€œ[the horniest shit you ever heard] but it wasn’t my idea to give her a rockin set of honkin badonks”

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@ everyone who thought this was about the Ghibli Miyazaki and not the Dark Souls Miyazaki: why did you just, like… accept that?

oh I assure you he’s been doing it well before ponyo

character who is sun-coded but not in the traditional ray-of-sunshine way. character who is sun-coded in the sense that they burn hot and bright and powerful, that they're a raging fury of fire and passion, and that maybe, just maybe, they are destroying themselves as they do so.