Kitty Unpretty

@unpretty / unpretty.space

💙 30-something 💙 She/Her 💙 Queer 💙 Latina 💙 Polyamorous 💙 Certified Dick Wizard 💙 Shit For Brains 💙 Welcome to unpretty.space, I'm a huge bitch and I'm dumb as hell. I reblog every damn thing and write about weird monster dicks. I will not apologize to Alton Brown. Posts by me are #original. Some people seem to like #fanfic and #ficblogging. I've also got #greatest hits. Other than that, my tags are fucking useless. If you need things tagged, you're better off following me through kittyunpretty.com or unpretty@ao3.

A half-feral hero, a monster king, a bastard prince, and an open world. Bound by destiny, they save or slay one another, an endless cycle of death and rebirth. When the Moonlight Monster rises, the Starlight Hero is Astielle’s only hope. Unfortunately, she’s a little busy with her rock collection.

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Astielle is a free webnovel about the Starlight Hero (Minnow), her nemesis the Moonlight Monster (King Karzarul), and his nemesis the Sunlight Heir (Prince Leonas). It is an endless reincarnation cycle enemies-to-lovers speedrun and slow burn about trying to avoid the main quest by doing every possible sidequest instead. It's about trying to get your friend away from his shitty family and into your polycule instead. It is over 200k words, and almost 40k of them are a flashback to completely different characters thousands of years before the main story. A lot of readers tell me it is very funny, or that it made them cry. It was supposed to be PWP. It is a hot fucking mess in progress.

"You shouldn't let her eat rocks," Ari said.
"If she wants to eat a rock," Leonas said, "there is nothing on this or any other plane of existence that I can do to stop her from eating the fucking rock."
"I spit it back out," Minnow said. She was regretting ever telling him about the rock. "Can we move on, please? I would like to move on."

Astielle features:

Farming | Fishing | Cooking | Fast-travel | Monster-fucking | Murder | Extremely round pigs | Extremely small chickens | A mystery-solving teen | Traveling bards | Gratuitous face-fucking | The homeowner's association | Magical dreams | Zombies | Nihilism as a coping mechanism for undiagnosed depression | Politics | Using a sword as an all-purpose adventuring tool | Tax evasion | At least one monster gangbang | Spider's Gorge | Pirates | Unreliable narrators | Incorrect historical records | The looming specter of religious nationalism | Churros
Source: href.li

Scoreboard at Yankee Stadium - July 20, 1969

An estimated 650 million people would watch Neil Armstrong take man’s first step on the moon more than six hours later, but during the actual lunar landing, 32,933 were in the stands at Yankee Stadium on that Sunday afternoon. Ken McMullen was batting against Jack Aker with Epstein on third, a man on first and no outs. 

As the umpires, according to prior arrangements, waved their arms and stopped play, an urgent voice came over the loudspeakers: “Here is a bulletin from WWDC News, Apollo 11 is 100 feet from the surface of the moon. We now switch live to the manned spacecraft center.”  It was public address announcer Bob Sheppard, sharing the historic news with the crowd.

“Ladies and gentleman, your attention please,” Sheppard said. “You will be happy to know that the Apollo 11 has landed safely on the moon.“

The cheers from the crowd drowned out the final two words of his announcement, but the message displayed on the scoreboard in right-center field was loud and clear: “THEYRE ON THE MOON.”

The cheering at Yankee Stadium continued for about 45 seconds, according to the New York Times, as thousands of children waved the Hillerich & Bradsby Co. Louisville Sluggers they received on bat day.

Finally, the noise died down enough so the announcer could be understood, and he asked the crowd for a moment of silent prayer for the safe return of the astronauts.  After a few seconds of silence, a recording of “America the Beautiful” played over the Yankee Stadium loudspeaker. The crowd sang and then cheered some more.

After the roughly four-minute stoppage, McMullen hit a grounder to third baseman Bobby Cox, who threw home to nail Epstein for the first out.

Bunni Designs creates size-inclusive, fandom-inspired, & whimsical original fashion designed by small artists!

We offer a wide range of apparel featuring artwork inspired by video games, anime, and pop culture as well as fun original designs. Our sizes range from toddlers to adults 6X.

www.bunnidesigns.com

worst relationship status to have w someone is “objectively they’re a fine person who is nice but i don’t enjoy their company as much as they enjoy mine”

second worst relationship status to have with someone is “objectively they’re a fine person but they Bother You”

secret third technically more harmless but in practicality more frustrating relationship status is “objectively they’re a fine person and they like so many of the same things i do but they like them in a fundamentally different way that is harmless but reads wrong to my brain and it has made attempts at forming an actual bond with them aggravating more than anything”

tbh i think stuff like this is why so many people, especially younger people, fall into this trap of “well if i don’t like a person or thing, they must be bad”. it would be so much easier if you could dismiss them as bad and move on. but it’s like, no, Objectively Fine people or things can just not mesh well with you for totally subjective reasons. and sometimes when they’re people you mesh much better with their brain than they do with yours. and sometimes you have to live with that.

So I made a moon landing cake…

Happy lunar landing day! I decided to spend some time baking and make a cake to celebrate! :)

It’s half vanilla and half chocolate cake with homemade buttercream and homemade wineberry jam in the middle- all the components I tasted along the way were delicious, so I’m looking forward to eating it tonight. (I’ll reblog this with more pictures later)

Phrase taken from this post by @bunjywunjy tis a wonderful image and Ive laughed every time I saw it today, so I put it on a cake :))

holy fuck this is REALLY good

Imagine being the only person alive who can say this

buzz aldrin and neil armstrong liked to do a thing where they’d tell unfunny jokes at parties about being on the moon and when people were confused they’d go “guess you had to have been there”

Anonymous asked:

is the sun more dangerous to humans outside of earth (on the moon, for example ;)) because of the lack of an ozone layer? what exactly would long-term sun exposer without an ozone do, if you know!

IT SURE IS. the moon reflects the sun to shine oh-so-bright for us, after all!

the solar rays that hit the moon are unfiltered and SUPER dangerous actually, and are one of the reasons Neil and his buddies needed basically a complete suit of armor with a face shield built in:

solar rays on the moon FAR surpass those on earth in both intensity and the spectrum of radiation they carry. these rays are capable of destroying solar panels by overloading them, and every piece of optical equipment (including cameras!) ever used up there had to be specially designed to be shielded from all that junk.

if you had a telescope good enough to give you a 4k view of the lunar surface, you could see the long-term effects of these ultrarays yourself- all those flags we left all over the moon in fits of hyper-nationalistic pride?

yeah, they're almost certainly just piles of sun-bleached white rags, if not actual dust at this point.

and don't get brilliant ideas about going up there to commit moon grand theft auto on the lunar rover, either- all the equipment that's been sitting in the sun for 50 years is probably no longer in working order, even if it is in one piece. (UTMOST TRAGEDY)

and now you know!

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murder by numbers is free on epic right now if you don't already have it, the art is by hato moa of hatoful boyfriend and the music is by masakazu sugimori of viewtiful joe. you solve murders by solving nonograms and it's 90s as all hell.

found a twitter tweet that was like "oh yeah content warning hatoful boyfriend has a lot of gore and violence" and every single person in the notes/retweets/qrts/whatever the fuck terms twitter has was going "WHAT THE FUCK IT HAS WHAT" and i find that hilarious because. large amounts of gore and violence is a tremendous understatement about the amount of stuff that goes down in hatoful boyfriend

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my full trigger list for hatoful boyfriend (and its sequel), for anyone curious is:

  • war and genocide
  • suicide (including coerced suicide)
  • murder (including decapitation and dismemberment)
  • cannibalism
  • guns
  • terminal illness and biological weaponry
  • persuing monster-based horror
  • unreality
  • scientific experimentation-based horror
  • racism
  • childhood trauma and parent death
  • infanticide (or more accurately, bird abortion)
  • emotional manipulation
  • unhealthy/codependent relationships
  • death of a romantic interest
  • twisted morality and gray morality
  • general heartbreakery

just on the off chance anyone reading this doesn’t know what Hatoful Boyfriend is