Susan Sontag, As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Flesh
excerpt from today’s newsletter ✨ no resolutions, but grappling with indecision.
schuylerpeck / instagram: hiitssky
susan sontag
What happened?
I chipped a tooth that winter with how hard I held my breath; steeled myself with every shift in the floorboards, winced under every tune hummed from the kitchen. do you remember who we were before we hated each other? mouths full of want and giggle. long weekends rollerblading by the river. a dream you whispered into my shoulder within weeks of I love you: a loud house on a quiet street, with a glow in the living room and a patch of grass I'd write from when it was warm enough. by autumn, the windows went dark after dinner. the street stayed hushed. you wouldn't tell me where it all went, or why you were disappearing with it. I never imagined I'd be grateful for a heartbreak, but I'll never sell my solitude for a daydream again.
“I love to you means I maintain a relation of indirection to you. I do not subjugate you or consume you. I respect you (as irreducible.) I hail you: in you I hail. I praise you: in you I praise. I give you thanks: to you I give thanks for … I bless you. for … I speak to you, not just about something; rather I speak to you. I tell you, not so much this or that, but rather I tell to you.”
— ‘I love to you’ by Luce Irigaray. This one is translated by Alison Martin. (via brighid2010-blog)
i need everyone to know that community is what will save us all in every single way imaginable. you forming a bond with your neighbour or coworker might help them move house or feel less alone or have the courage to leave an unhealthy living environment. you helping a stranger might provide them with hope. in turn, being able to lean on your community in times of need will save you. your broader bonds with your community are the revolution we need. our society seeks to divide and separate us in so many ways but we are all so much more united in our struggles and joys than you are made to believe. we need to hold onto each other very tightly.
- Fernando Pessoa - The Book of Disquiet
“I love you very much. Love you in a bad way (don’t be angry, my happiness). Love you in a good way. Love your teeth…I love you, my sun, my life, I love your eyes — closed — all the little tails of your thoughts, your stretchy vowels, your whole soul from head to heels.”
— Vladimir Nabokov, from Letters To Véra (via days-of-reading)
Maya C. Popa, from “Spring”, Wound Is the Origin of Wonder
Mary Oliver, “Don’t Hesitate”, Devotions
Franz Kafka, from a letter to Felice Bauer written in 1912, featured in Letters To Felice
Anaïs Nin, from a diary entry featured in Trapeze: The Unexpurgated Diary of Anais Nin, 1947-1955
Zinaida Nikolaevna Gippius, from The Selected Works; “Memoirs of Martynov,”
I crave the way tenderness brushes against hunger, a gentle ache clashing with the raw pulse of desire, the softness that soothes and the fire that voraciously consumes.
- E. M. Forster's New Year's resolutions, written 31 December 1904
James Baldwin, from Another Country [ID'd]
op. viii — hello, january
Is there another life? Shall I awake and find all this a dream? There must be, we cannot be created for this sort of suffering.
- John Keats
She is nonexistent, this girl he considers beautiful, soft, loving, intelligent perfection. She is a dream-vision.
Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
You don’t have to belong everywhere!








