A year and a half after the battle of Exegol, the fragile balance of the Force has shifted. Rey, the galaxy’s precious Jedi, has disappeared, leaving behind nothing but disturbing rumors about what has become of her. Ben Solo, meanwhile, has just been brought back from the dead to restore balance to the Force, with the help of some of the very people he had once sought to destroy.
Read it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26240674/chapters/63870283
the only bad part about going to the zoo is hearing adult men confidently tell their kids or gfs objectively incorrect information about the animals we’re looking at and having to remain silent. do u know the restraint it takes to say nothing when a grown adult man tells someone “falcons are in the same family as eagles” next to me? no babygirl. no.
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the only super long Tumblr post I love
*explaining kitchen appliances to my pet medieval knights* The microwave, or Micheal the Wavious, and metal fork, or Sir Silver Prong, are sworn enemies and can never cross paths lest their meeting spell destruction for all.
you can tell this website is autistic as hell because someone posts a video with a mildly catchy phrase in it and no one shuts up about it for an extended period of time. or image even. image with a mildly catchy phrase in it even. we love phrases here on tumblr dot com love to repeat them. due to the autism
One quiet day on the farm, the Little Red Hen found some wheat seeds and decided to make bread.
"Who will help me plant these seeds?" the Little Red Hen asked.
"I would." said the Horse "But I'm a workhorse, and I'm too busy moving carts around."
And so the Little Red Hen planted the seeds by herself. And they grew into bountiful golden crops.
"Who will help me harvest the wheat?" the Little Red Hen asked.
"I would." said the Dog "But I'm a guarddog, and I'm too busy keeping away burglars and predators."
And so the Little Red Hen harvested the wheat herself and made it into flour.
"Who will help me bake the flour?" the Little Red Hen asked.
"I would." said the Pig "But I'm a mother of 5 newborn piglets, and I'm too busy taking care of my young."
And so the Little Red Hen baked the bread herself into twenty beautiful loaves.
"Who will help me eat the bread?" the Little Red Hen asked.
"We would." said the Farm Animals. "But we're ashamed, for we didn't do anything to make the bread."
"Nonsense!" said the Little Red Hen. "You, Horse, helped move around the stones that built my oven. You, Dog, kept me safe while I worked. And you, Pig, are raising a new generation of Farm Animals, who will too contribute to our Farm one day. You've all helped me so much by simply being you."
"Besides," the Little Red Hen added. "I couldn't possibly eat all the loaves on my own, most of them would go to waste. Come, eat with me."
And so the Little Red Hen and the Farm Animals ate the bread together. And all saw their own, and each other's, worth.
Babe, you okay? you reblogged “and we were nice to each other” like 12 times again
There are a lot of really nuanced pros and cons to the phenomenon of creators being more accessible to fans via social media nowadays, but one of the strangest things I've observed is like. People asking permission to have headcanons? Like yes, obviously, it's interesting to learn more about the creators' original intentions, but "Neil Gaiman, is it ok if in interpret Aziraphale as having carpal tunnel? 🥺" babes, that's between you and your 10 most unhinged Discord friends. Here, look, watch: I think Guillermo de la Cruz listens to My Chemical Romance. I think Zagreus has ADHD. I think Harrowhark Nonagesimus is a Scorpio. See? No snipers. It's easy, it's legal, and it's free
popping my back isnt enough i need to be picked up and slammed against the wall like a wet trout
You know how when you use a bendy straw you pull the bendy part up before you bend it? I want someone to do that to my spine.
unshrimp me back please
But what if it was all a dream
This is more unsettling. I know it's there. I know it should be there. I know this pristine landscape is hiding its horrors like teeth.
[I.D. an edited version of the "children's hospital" meme photo where the splattering red pattern on the hall floor has been removed. End I.D.]
Well duh. It’s just color theory
tlt fans spread this to your non-tlt followers but please do not vote. i genuinely want to see what people think the lie is.
Send me to Mars with party supplies before next august 5th
No guys you don’t understand.
The soil testing equipment on Curiosity makes a buzzing noise and the pitch of the noise changes depending on what part of an experiment Curiosity is performing, this is the way Curiosity sings to itself.
So some of the finest minds currently alive decided to take incredibly expensive important scientific equipment and mess with it until they worked out how to move in just the right way to sing Happy Birthday, then someone made a cake on Curiosity’s birthday and took it into Mission control so that a room full of brilliant scientists and engineers could throw a birthday party for a non-autonomous robot 225 million kilometres away and listen to it sing the first ever song sung on Mars*, which was Happy Birthday.
This isn’t a sad story, this a happy story about the ridiculousness of humans and the way we love things. We built a little robot and called it Curiosity and flung it into the star to go and explore places we can’t get to because it’s name is in our nature and then just because we could, we taught it how to sing.
That’s not sad, that’s awesome.
*this is different from the first song ever played on mars (Reach For The Stars by Will.I.Am) which happened the year before, singing is different from playing
This is humanity
Happy Birthday, Curiousity.
Happy birthday, Curiosity.
I wish wizards were real so bad imagine coming out of a wal mart and seeing some guy with long robes and a big hat in the parking lot surrounded by wacky particle effects screaming some shit like "By the moon and the starlight, by the shield and the sword, I summon to me, my Honda Accord!" And then just getting into his car and driving off
One punch man
THE FLOURISH AND SHEATHE
As a professional swordsman should
