Do NOT let random motherfuckers add you on Discord

Dude, where’s my kissy. Where is my fuckin snuggles bro

You know what fantasy stories don't use enough? Different measuring scales, and confusion caused by them. Because before the metric system, practically every place and culture had their own measures for weights, lengths and distances. It would be fun to add that into a story for added realistic cultural confusion.

The average dwarf is four or five feet tall, but not in human measures. Yeah they're still shorter than humans but the dwarf foot (and the namesake measure of length) is bigger in proportion to their body. "Is that in dwarf feet or human feet?" is a common question to hear on construction sites, wherever human carpenters and dwarf masons are working together.

A dedicated local Common Misconception Historian has a pet peeve about the whole "princess Featherblade was only 12 years old when she led the attack on Marshland Halls" -myth, because the historical recordings on the human side are off. While she was remarkably young, that myth came about back in the day when humans were still trying to apply "dog years" to elves, and in an elven life span, 120 years is not a direct equivalent to a 12-year-old human.

A whole culture whose smallest unit of weight loosely translates to "about as much as an apple", and varies from region to region depending on the size of local apples. These people are famed for their alchemists, whose uncanny ability to simply measure their ingredients by heart, making their recipes essentially impossible to replicate. This famed skill is a matter of survivor bias - the ones that don't have that knack ten to explode into fine mist.

As a sidenote. Medieval construction sites actually decided at the beginning of the project just exactly whose feet, inches and thumbspaces they were going to use for this site. Then they’d post them on a board at the workshops so everyone could be on the same page here.

I want to believe that there have been several incidents where this desicion was resolved with a fist fight.

If your dwarfs live entirely underground, they have no reason to base your units for the passage of time on the movement of the sun and its subdivisions. You could use amounts of time you can work a reasonable shift, a decent break, the length of a breath, a normal heartbeat - these might all be different for a dwarf to what they are for anyone else, too - but how long it's light on the surface? That would involve interacting with the surface. You might fall into the sky!

last fall i bought a pair of these at a consignment shop

last week i was hanging out in a park and overheard a guy in a blink 182 shirt tell two kickballers who were wearing these that they're bringing them back

now this?

i am officially weirded out

but also...they never went away? these are kind of a staple tbh.

“It is important to remember just how vague much rule over Europe was until mass literacy, telegraphs and railways started to tie together regions and countries. The Habsburgs loved to look at maps, genealogies and heraldic shields, making sweeping hand gestures over these symbolic shorthands for their ownership, but there is little reason to believe such gestures had much substance. Apart from a few mountain and forest communities, nobody was left completely alone, but the sense of obligation to Vienna was often remote and convoluted, with innumerable local, noble and religious privileges making a mockery of modern dreams of unitary efficiency. Many histories tend to present a narrative angled from the perspective of the ruler. Most dramatically this is expressed in the term ‘rebellion’, a word which presupposes failure (by definition: if it succeeds then it is a change of dynasty). It is too easy to see a narrative where any rebellion is an annoyance, a drain on resources, a desperate piece of backwardness, and so on. But this is to take a man wearing a crown in Vienna too seriously and I hope to make it clear just how many perfectly reasonable arguments against Habsburg rule there were. Indeed, at one point or another (and repeatedly in Hungary) virtually everybody took a turn at being ‘disloyal’ and this should be a valuable clue. Joseph II’s war with the Turks went so badly wrong in 1788 because the Hungarian nobles would not supply him with food, because they hated him and thought he was a tiresome creep. As his vast army fell apart and he raged impotently, it is impossible from a world-historical point of view not to feel a bit sorry for him, but Europe is filled with groups of all kinds who are annoyingly insubordinate, and they should be celebrated a bit more.” — Danubia: A Personal History of Habsburg Europe by Simon Winder

Not to be dramatic or anything but this is one of the quotes from Danubia that has stuck with me ever since and permanently shaped how I view and interpret history; then as now, terms like ‘corruption,’ ‘laziness,’ and ‘insubordination’ are very often code for “refusing to cooperate with a terrible idea.”

I can't believe this was a season 5 episode btw. Season 5 out of 10 seasons. In 2013. A year before korrasami. Just casually open with Bubblegum sniffing the FUCK out of this shirt she got from Marceline. A fat fucking snoof and rub and a satisfied sigh. She got it from a girl she broke up with several centuries ago and is at this point just barely on speaking terms with. Marceline does not know she does this. Absolutely deranged behaviour. The down baddest anyone's ever been. The fact people were still debating whether she was gay after this. Pearl steven universe is nothing next to this shit

ᴄ ᴇ ʀ ᴜ ʟ ᴇ ᴀ ɴ 青

Source: 3am.horrors on Instagram

May 3

My friend Jonathan Harker, food blogger sollicitor from London, is on a work trip in Transylvaina, and he is collecting a ton of recipes for his girlfriend.