cowboy advice

but most of all

i… made a cross stitch inspired by this post….

it was a christmas present for a friend. he loved it. thanks op

Not to be dramatic but seeing/coming into contact with ancient stuff is an overwhelming experience. I can’t look at a damn mummy without imaginging every facet of who they may have been in life. I was in a cave once to see a stone full of grooves where people had sharpened stone weapons thousands of years ago and I was told I could touch the grooves and my spirit left my body on contact. I fell through time and space. What the fuck

i think one of the most interesting things is how, ever since the 19th century, the gothic has become almost synonymous with dark and eerie things, vampires and the like. artists and writers in the 19th century looked at those old and grimy buildings and were like, hell yeah, spooky shit. but it becomes even more interesting when you realise that those dark and grimy buildings weren’t dark or grimy at all when they were built; that darkness comes from years and years of smoke from candles and other grime building up. look at this picture from the restoration of the cathedral of chartres:

how fucking cool is this? so not only are those dark and creepy gothic stories from the 19th century just a fiction of the imagination of 19th century edge lords, but the actual medieval cathedrals were light and colourful. it makes you think about what age in history really deserves the term ‘the dark ages’, huh

— Barbara Ehrenreich and Deirdre English, Witches, Midwives, and Nurses - A History of Women Healers (1973)

When you throw out the packaging of a microwave dinner and immediately forget how long to microwave it for

i feel like ikea turns me into a different person. i walk into the swedish furniture jail and suddenly i’m a 29 year old pinterest mom who owns 6546 minimalist storage bins and names her daughter parsley

i take one look at a showroom with like a perfectly styled FJÅLBJØRKBÖLLSTORP or whatever and suddenly i am this woman

A conservative dress with children of your own race. SO progressive!

…. do you need something, or?

Yes, I need to tell you that you have been manipulated by this site I used to spend my entire youth on. I used to be just like you but life made me mature and I realize now how brainwashed I was. This site is poison, and I sincerely and absolutely mean that. You were here since 2012? I was since 2009. Please, wake up, I beg you. Please stop being misled by all these labels and infighting and utopian ideals, it’s not worth it. Stop living life for cheap pleasure. Seeing innocent people be led to chaos like this makes me cry. It really does. i wish you the best.

what in the god damn hell are you talking about……. this was a post about ikea

im short circuiting

accidentally stuttering while saying your snarky comeback

If you rearrange the letters in the light it spells alien

If you add in the partial letters touched by the light it’s “E.T. Alien” 👽

Your friendly local hick (me) was giving a work presentation to a class that had some audience participation.

A suburban white boy answering a question stumbled through a statement where he was clearly trying to find a polite replacement for “hick” or “redneck” and I s2g this kid said “yeehaw folk.”

I wrote that shit up on the board and said, “I am, in fact, a yeehaw folk,” as my coworker just lost his shit laughing.

this is right up there with the person who couldn’t decide whether to use sir or ma'am to address to address someone and ended up saying captain

CMON SEWING CLASS LETS GET SICKENING

death drop!!

the amount of clothes on my floor is directly proportional to how depressed i am

a few socks: i’m just chilling

a crumpled pair of jeans and a few (clean) items of underwear: things could be worse

an entire floordrobe and some dirty laundry: ooh girl 😬

i love little kids with very niche interests. Like for awhile I nannied for a family who had a little girl who loved old black and white movies. She adopted a transatlantic accent, constantly wore a long string of plastic pearls, and would often dramatically drape herself over pieces of furniture when told to do something and say “I just can’t do it babe”

i once dropped her stuffed animal and she yelled “there’s been a murder!”

From the Wikipedia page about the Fermi Paradox: Given the high scientific probability for alien existence, why can we find no evidence of their existence whatsoever?

A poem about loneliness

I am an adult and do not want protection from adult content

I want protection from adult content such as bills and work and laundry

young man, the groomsbride is a whore i said young man, please close the goddamn door

this is it

the post that is simultaneously the best and worst post in existence

groom door hand whore bride door

im so mad i cant find that moose literally going 100 mph thru snow gif

Executive dysfunction is like all of your abilities are on cooldown and you’re mashing buttons to try to do anything but your brain is just like “i can’t do that yet. that’s still recharging. i can’t do that yet. that spell isn’t ready yet. that’s still recharging.”

Smash mouth has a song about a guy realizing the girl he’s dating is still in love with her ex girlfriend and he encourages said ex to come back and rekindle their lesbian romance

Maybe the real All Star was the bisexuals we met along the way

this is like… the exact opposite of Jolene

i love it when you accidentally meet eyes with a stranger in public and you flash a quick polite smile and they look at you like they wish you were dead in a ditch