Unicorn_Dust

A band needs a slut on bass to have any modicum of success

This is the biggest attack on my character I have ever seen

procrastination !

you will not believe the date i just had

I miss this meme

this interaction literally ruined my day

theres not one last name between them

I REFUSE to let this get buried in the notes

Quality. Content.

the only post i care about

this sign left no survivors

i dont know what any of your icons are i just notice the vague colour patterns and thats it

oh fuck predominantly green with orange and white accents just posted i love them

“The demon in my corner while I’m having sleep paralysis.”

Omg

😂💀💀💀

how

Just like this

Yup

I think I’ll try defining gravity

THIS IS THE PUN OF ALL PUNS EVERYBODY CAN GO HOME NOW

Calvin and Hobbes still relevant 25 years later.

my sense of humor: getting birthday cards with the wildly incorrect age on it for people

I see this and raise you: getting cards for a wildly different occasion and customizing them to fit the holiday you need

To the spiders in the ceiling corners: you’re keeping your end of the contract, love u honeys catch those tasty flies

To the spiders halfway down the wall and touchin my furniture: you’re on thin fucking ice babes

Do you guys ever see your pet sleeping by you and just think holy shit holy shit this little animal feels safe enough and trusts me enough to be near me and fall asleep near me and just how fucking cool is that

But then your inner gremlin speaks: get the beans.

If you wear these while you browse Tumblr it’ll be just like it was in the old days

Rose-titted glasses

Everyone knows that on Uber/Lyft you should always give the driver five stars unless they, like, drive the car into the ocean or something, right?  You can’t say “the ride was fine, nothing special, so I gave them three stars,” because the company will punish them for being anything less than perfect.

Well, you should know that the same rule goes for any kind of customer service survey.  Unless the service you received was unacceptable, give them 5/5 or 10/10 or whatever.  It’s annoying, because it ruins the sensitivity of the survey, but it’s how it’s gotta be.  9/10 gets treated like a problem and 6/10 gets treated like a disaster.   Understand this and do the workers a favor by grading easy.