(via pittsburgh-athlete)
We are not what we seem (via hope-for-happiness)
“Counting,” by Grazia Curcuru (via prosebyday)
Just Another Reason to Love Years & Years
Olly Alexander, the out lead singer and songwriter of Years & Years, gave an incredible interview about his own history of mental health. He talks openly about the effects of the stigma against same sex love and growing up gay in a straight world. I am so happy a pop star like him exists and am insanely jealous of the 13 year old gay boys of today. 13 year old me could’ve used such a positive and open role model.
Midnight thoughts (Depression isn’t trendy)
This is the fucking truth and honestly it sucks 💀
(via justabrokenprincess)
So. Damn. True.
(via semilivinghope)
Apologies. (via spilledinksaboutyou)
(A.) on @letters-2-myself|tumblr (via letters-2-myself)
I never expected you to love me
and I never wanted you to be mine,
but years from now when you wake up in the morning
and your feet are cold
even though you slept under two blankets
you’ll know it’s because of the dream you had of me
and you’ll wish that you could turn over in your bed
and tell me all about it.
But all you’ll find is an empty spot
for you to stretch your arms out.
The arms that should have been wrapped around me.
Years from now,
you’ll stop on the sidewalk when you think you hear my laughter.
Or did that even sound like mine?
You’ll be scared that you’ll forget me.
When you stargaze,
you’ll unknowingly look for a constellation
that resembles the way I looked at you.
And when your sister asks what happened to me,
you’ll hate that you won’t be able to answer.
Years from now,
you’ll sit in your parked car
and remember the night I told you I loved you.
You’ll forget the exact words
but you’ll remember how you felt.
Your mind will run through the details of my hair and my lips
and you’ll surprise yourself because
you never knew that you even noticed.
I never expected you to love me,
but the crazy thing is,
neither did you.
me (via suicidal-worthless-loser)
Bukowski Quotes for the Signs
Charles Bukowski
“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
“Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.””
“Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.”
“You have to die a few times before you can really live.”
“I wanted the whole world or nothing.”
“Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your remains.”
“If you’re losing your soul and you know it, then you’ve still got a soul left to lose”
“Some lose all mind and become soul,insane. some lose all soul and become mind, intellectual. some lose both and become accepted”
“I felt like crying but nothing came out. it was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can’t feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. but I think I have known it pretty often, too often.”
“I will remember the kisses our lips raw with love and how you gave me everything you had and how I offered you what was left of me, and I will remember your small room the feel of you the light in the window your records your books our morning coffee our noons our nights our bodies spilled together sleeping the tiny flowing currents immediate and forever your leg my leg your arm my arm your smile and the warmth of you who made me laugh again.”
“those who escape hell however never talk about it and nothing much bothers them after that.”
“the free soul is rare, but you know it when you see it - basically because you feel good, very good, when you are near or with them.”
“People with no morals often considered themselves more free, but mostly they lacked the ability to feel or love.”
“Nothing was ever in tune. People just blindly grabbed at whatever there was: communism, health foods, zen, surfing, ballet, hypnotism, group encounters, orgies, biking, herbs, Catholicism, weight-lifting, travel, withdrawal, vegetarianism, India, painting, writing, sculpting, composing, conducting, backpacking, yoga, copulating, gambling, drinking, hanging around, frozen yogurt, Beethoven, Back, Buddha, Christ, TM, H, carrot juice, suicide, handmade suits, jet travel, New York City, and then it all evaporated and fell apart. People had to find things to do while waiting to die. I guess it was nice to have a choice.”
“There’s nothing to mourn about death any more than there is to mourn about the growing of a flower. What is terrible is not death but the lives people live or don’t live up until their death. They don’t honor their own lives, they piss on their lives. They shit them away. Dumb fuckers. They concentrate too much on fucking, movies, money, family, fucking. Their minds are full of cotton. They swallow God without thinking, they swallow country without thinking. Soon they forget how to think, they let others think for them. Their brains are stuffed with cotton. They look ugly, they talk ugly, they walk ugly. Play them the great music of the centuries and they can’t hear it. Most people’s deaths are a sham. There’s nothing left to die.”
“when God created love he didn’t help most when God created dogs He didn’t help dogs when God created plants that was average when God created hate we had a standard utility when God created me He created me when God created the monkey He was asleep when He created the giraffe He was drunk when He created narcotics He was high and when He created suicide He was low
when He created you lying in bed He knew what He was doing He was drunk and He was high and He created the mountains and the sea and fire at the same time
He made some mistakes but when He created you lying in bed He came all over His Blessed Universe.”
"Would you be thirty minutes late to a wedding or a funeral?” “No.” “Why not, pray tell?” “Well, if the funeral was mine I’d have to be on time. If the wedding was mine it would be my funeral.”
“nobody can save you but yourself. you will be put again and again into nearly impossible situations. they will attempt again and again through subterfuge, guise and force to make you submit, quit and/or die quietly inside.
nobody can save you but yourself and it will be easy enough to fail so very easily but don’t, don’t, don’t. just watch them. listen to them. do you want to be like that? a faceless, mindless, heartless being? do you want to experience death before death?
nobody can save you but yourself and you’re worth saving. it’s a war not easily won but if anything is worth winning then this is it.
think about it. think about saving your self.”
“we know God is dead, they’ve told us, but listening to you I wasn’t sure.”
“We waited and waited. All of us. Didn’t the shrink know that waiting was one of the things that drove people crazy? People waited all their lives. They waited to live, they waited to die. They waited in line to buy toilet paper. They waited in line for money. And if they didn’t have any money they waited in longer lines. You waited to go to sleep and then you waited to awaken. You waited to get married and you waited to get divorced. You waited for it to rain, you waited for it to stop. You waited to eat and then you waited to eat again. You waited in a shrink’s office with a bunch of psychos and you wondered if you were one.”
“Stop insisting on clearing your head — clear your fucking heart instead.”
“Understand me. I’m not like an ordinary world. I have my madness, I live in another dimension and I do not have time for things that have no soul.”
“Do not ignore it. Fuck it. Cry your heart out. Then fuck it some more.”
“Basically, that’s why I wrote: to save my ass, to save my ass from the madhouse, from the streets, from myself.”
“I was a bore and didn’t know when to smile or fake it. Or rather worse, I did but didn’t.”
for my babygirl (via whatever-is-pxre)
Ryan O’Connell (via wank-r)
It’s essay writing season for tons of students!
After being a college writing tutor for over a year, I thought I would share my advice with all you awesome people on tumblr. This is how I write essays, but if you’ve got more tips, feel free to add them below.
Happy writing. You can do it!
A Thank You Letter To My Ex;
Each relationship is a learning experience. Relationships mature you; you gain confidence and insight about life, yourself, and others. I can’t say that that is always the case right away, but I can tell you that one day, you’ll wake up and that person’s presence will make all the sense in the world. Suddenly, no matter how you and your ex ended, you will thank them for what they, both, did and didn’t know they taught you.
First off, thank you for putting me back together.
Thank you for taking all my broken pieces, and somehow finding enough glue to put them back together. Without even including my consistent need for attention, stubborn personality, and never-ending hunger, putting up with that alone was hard work. You found me beaten and battered, and without even a second thought, you put me back together the only way you knew how in this technologically advanced era mixed in with some old-fashioned love…with endless text messages and snapchats, and consistent compliments and love notes.
Thank you for teaching me how to love.
The reason I fell so quickly and so wholly for you was because of your ability to love despite all the hurt you had endured. Your intentions were selfless and pure, and you never asked for a thing in return for your love. I thought love was selfish, a take thing. But you taught me that love is actually quite selfless, it’s more about the giving rather than taking. You taught me exactly how much love I could hold in my being, and it was tenfold the amount I thought I was capable of. In your words, “I guess you just bring it out in me.” I realize now that I was selfish while loving you. I took more than I gave, but please understand when I tell you I’ve never loved something more in my life, I don’t mean it lightly. I so desperately wanted to be fixed so that I could treat you the way you deserved to be treated, and I am sorry that it was harder than we both had imagined.
Thank you for the mushy stuff.
You knew my childhood fantasies. You knew my hopes and dreams. Hell, you knew about my secret Pinterest boards (mostly due to my stubbornness and my consistent insisting that you look at just “one more” living room idea). You did the best with what you had to make sure all of my short term dreams and goals were fulfilled, while never forgetting to remind me that the long term ones will be to one day. Thank you, my love, for always holding me tight in public…although I’m mostly sure that was just because you knew how clumsy and accident prone the girl you were dating was. I think we both can agree I never needed much. I didn’t need expensive gifts or surprises. Your occasional mushy paragraphs were enough to make me swoon. I would have spent every birthday in with you if it involved pasta, makeshift forts, and scary movies. It was the little romantic things you did, the gestures you didn’t believe were enough, that meant so much more than the restaurants and presents.
Thank you for putting my in place, but also knowing when to just deal with me.
I was always the first person to admit to my stubbornness. But thank you for calling me out on it when I needed to hear it. Sometimes, one’s judgement gets clouded, and they are hellbent on proving that they’re right…even when they’re clearly not. Thank you for the times when you told me what I was saying was ridiculous, thank you for quieting me down and being reasonable. And even know there weren’t many times when you dealt with my attitude without trying to give me one back, thank you for the few times when you did. I think that shut me up quicker than the times you told me to stop being stubborn and cut the shit. Although I know I’m not always right, you reassured me, which I definitely needed sometimes.
Finally, thank you for leaving and not coming back.
Despite all of our good times together, now that we are done, I’ve become so content with the person that I am. Nobody can deny that you and I are soul mates, but I believe that we are soul mates that met at the wrong time. We met at a time when we both thought we were sure of who we were, but in reality, were far from it. We have yet to experience what life has to offer us, we still have room to grow. We both made mistakes, some bigger than others, and as cliche as it sounds…time heals all wounds. I believe we both have things to reflect and work on, and time will let us do that. So, thank you for giving me room to grow, for giving me time to think about my mistakes, and thank you for teaching me so much about life, myself, and us.
I have learned so much, and I am forever grateful. I am stronger now, but I owe that one to myself.
Thank you, and I love you.
Derrian
You realize that no matter how many new band aids you use or how many times you try to fix it, some wounds just don’t stop bleeding. (via sorryalways)
a high school teacher’s list of 100 wisest words (via mar-rs)

