I can’t even escape math on tumblr

I JUST CHECKED THIS IS REAL IM SCREAMING

When you’ve spent 92 years on this earth with the name “Dick Van Dyke” and you’re only just now hearing the dumbest possible joke about it.

the cashier asked me how im gonna pay like in terms of cash or card and i just said “money” cause i meant cash and she went “thats how it works”

im the cashier

i have no followers on twitter and i wanted to show this off

fuck it up Cathleen!!!!!!!

doctors in tweets be like

netflix and…rest your head on my thigh while I run my fingers through your hair continuously

you know too much

Me thinking about a joke I told last week

what the fuck, that’s way funnier than the screengrabs

They are like 5 dollars sis

SOME OF US DON’T HAVE $5

how much do i have to zoom in on a pic of my elbow before it gets flagged

never mind tumblr shot me on fucking sight

same energy

what if instead of “7 minutes in heaven” theres a “7 minutes in hell” and what you do is you put 2 people in a closet for 7 mins and they have to beat the absolute shit out of each other 

do you ever just sit around and think I’m in my twenties.

DAY 23

GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 23

girl culture is turning around every few feet when you’re walking alone to see if someone’s following u

Learn to peep through the corner of your eye so you’re not quite so obvious when you turn.

Putting in your earphones so hopefully no random men try to talk to/harass you but not actually playing music so you can listen for footsteps/other suspicious noises behind you.

feeling like someone is following you and subtly shifting whatever object you’re holding into a better grip so you can use it as a bludgeon if the person behind you tries anything

Being fucking terrified when street lamps give you more than one shadow

just girly things~🌟

can I wear a waist trainer if I’m 6 months pregnant ?

Wouldn’t recommend!

too late my baby gonna come out with a SNATCHED waist

Reblog the Princess ™ for future happiness and mental stability. Let her cuteness cleanse you.

please princess™… i require your stability and happiness

She is listening

*survives another year*