Benji, the best character (via outofcontextdnd)

every day the same telemarketing company calls us. I’ve asked to be taken off their calling list, I’ve tried to be civil, I’ve even tried to not answer the phone, yet they’ll keep calling. So now I’ve resorted to making the phones calls as annoying as possible for them.

Today I asked the person to hold while I got a pen and paper. As of now, they’ve been waiting 45 minutes.

Update:

I just asked him if he was still there, then when he said yes i told him i had found a pen but no paper, but that i’m still looking. It’s been an hour.

I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN ON TUMBLR AND YOUTUBE WHILE THIS GUY WAITS. IT’S BEEN ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF

Update:

After an hour and 35 minutes I told him that i had found paper, but my pen was dead. He hung up. Ah well, i’ll just do it again tomorrow!

You are the future

As a former telemarketer, I can tell you that the only reason that guy hung on the line for so long was because he didn’t really want to make any more calls anyway and was probably reading a book or chatting with friends while you pretended to find paper and pen. He was enjoying your mischief as much, if not more, than you were. You literally gave this guy an acceptable reason to take an hour and a half break. You are his hero. He likely only finally hung up because it was officially his break time anyway. He probably told all his co-workers about your call and they’ll be laughing about it for weeks.

this week on: workers are not responsible for the shit their bosses make them pull so they can keep their job

I help clients process their online orders. Part of this involves acquiring barcode ranges to be used on tracked packages: without the range set up, the customer cannot process tracked orders. I set up email alerts so the customer is informed when the range only has 1000 codes left (about 2 - 10...

YOU GUYS ARE FOOLS

YOU HAVE TO DECORATE THEM 

AFTER YOU COOK THEM AND THEY’VE COOLED

THANK YOU HOLY SHIT

HOW THE HELL DO YOU FUCK UP DIPPING STRAWBERRIES IN CHOCOLATE??? DID YOU EVEN TEMPER THE CHOCOLATE OR DO YOU JSUT LIVE IN FUCKING MORDOR HOLY SHIT

im laughing so fucking hard

Thank you, Gordon Ramsay side of Tumblr.

Aziz Ansari responds to Rupert Murdoch - Jan, 11, 2015

Fun with twats on OKCupid.

I think we can safely say he’s….

B)

…not my type.

I heart Nat.

Ms. Marvel Commission by calslayton

And let go of what doesn’t.

My dad is sitting and doodling in a My Little Pony colouring book with my two-year-old kid. He drew a blue sun, and when she coloured over it with her red crayon, he said, “now it’s a red dwarf and it has killed everyone in its solar system.” She nodded solemnly.

No Man’s Sky Concept Art

No Man’s Sky - Gameplay Trailer 

No Man’s Sky is a science-fiction game about exploration and survival in an infinite procedurally generated universe.

Developed by Hello Games, the indie studio behind PS3 hit Joe Danger, No Man’s Sky is a science-fiction game without limits. If you see a mountain, you can trek there. If you see a planet hanging on the horizon, it’s a real place, with its own rich ecology of creatures and vegetation. You can get in your ship, fly into space and it’s yours to explore. Not just that, but every star in the sky is just the light of a sun, with its own solar system waiting for you to discover and adventure in.

WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT NO MAN’S SKY???

This game is set to come out in 2015 for PC and PS4. Fans of Sci-Fi (Star Trek especially) you need to pay attention here! This game is FUCKING INFINITE. You drive your spaceship across the galaxy looking for planets to explore - some are uninhabited, some are very inhabited, and some are not too keen on your arrival. When you find an undiscovered planet, you have officially discovered it. Like, your name will forever be on that planet. “Choose whether to share your discoveries with other players. They’re exploring the same vast universe in parallel; perhaps you’ll make your mark on their worlds as well as your own.”  ”No Man’s Sky is a game about exploration and survival in an infinite procedurally generated galaxy.” INFINITELY. GENERATED. YOU CAN PLAY IT FOREVER AND STILL DISCOVER NEW THINGS IT IS LITERALLY LIKE THE GOD DAMN GALAXY I CAN’T EVEN CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT AT THIS POINT.

Please go check out their official site here to watch gameplay, trailers, and learn more about this wicked game!

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR A GAME LIKE ‘NO MAN’S SKY’ [E3 2014]

A little bit Metroid, a little bit Journey, a whole lot awesome.

No Man’s Sky from Hello Games looks interesting for a number of reasons. There’s a strong emphasis on isolation and exploration that reminds me a lot of the Metroid games, but the combination of vivid colors and rich textures looks unlike anything I’ve ever seen in a game before.

It’s also an indie game by a small studio with some pretty ambitious goals.

See, when each player starts up a new game, they start all alone on a single planet that is entirely unique to them, complete with creatures unique to that world. The creators claim that game is infinite, with limitless worlds and creatures.

Check out the No Man’s Sky E3 2014 gameplay trailer below for a taste of the craziness.

Here’s a list of the game’s features ripped straight from the official site.

Exploring new worlds, being chased by giant alien creatures, and jumping from planet to planet!? How can you NOT be excited for this!?

N O  M A N ’ S  S K Y   •

Every planet procedural. Every planet unique. Every planet unexplored.

oh hey look, an LGBTQ campaign that doesn’t show white people as the face of LGBTQ issues for once. 

also one that doesnt stereotype gay men as effeminate

Also one who has a supportive black father accepting his black son…. Like my dad (my mother was the one we had to work on).