DIK FUK, THE DONGSMASHER

ace attorney is as exciting as it is because it fulfills everybody’s fantasy of not just proving someone wrong but doing so in a heroically aggressive manner. ace attorney is about calling someone out, with receipts, so hard that they throw wild anime faces, scream, and tear their hair out, then get sent to actual jail

please. please do yourself a favor and read this incredibly well-written and thrilling article, written by a woman who willfully sat in a TGI fridays for 14 hours, and ordered far too many mozzerella sticks, in order to see whether or not “endless appetizers” were truly endless.

i am not kidding you when i say that it is the best thing i’ve read in a long time.

It’s so damn well written please read this

reading this article lowered my quality of life and worsened my mental health and you should absolutely still read it

In case you were not convinced by the description alone, here is an excerpt:

“ace attorney text posts memes that i made 2 years ago and need to delete off my computer” part 2

bonus:

i arrive at my local petsmart and purchase the pogchamp food for my pond pogchamps

spirits of hunger and feasting

In Avengers Endgame (2019) you can see Pop-Up appear on screen. This is a nod to the fact that I pirated the movie and now I have a virus.

He’s not

Then why did you mention him????

I just don’t like him that much. Conversations can be about more than one thing.

where is that renaissance painting with those two fellers and a giant fucking random skull on the floor that looks like it was accidentally stretched out in photoshop

THANK YOU

somebody please explain

Someone once told me it’s like that because it was designed to be hung in a stairwell so the skull pops out as you walk past.

…I guess it works but you have to be at a pretty sharp angle

There was a whole trend at one point where artists would include something in their paintings (usually a skull, for whatever reason) that’s super distorted in just the right way so that it looks normal if you hold the painting up to a convex/concave mirror. I have absolutely no idea why. But I think that’s what’s going on here.

In case anyone’s curious, here’s what it looks like when you walk past it irl:

It does have a 3D effect to it! It’s pretty neat, guess it would be even more impressive to people from the 14th century.

my biological pronouns are ATGCGCATATCGATCG/CGATCGATCGGCATCGTA

Serotonin is stored in the detective pikachu movie

I love how all the notes on this are just like “it sure fucking is dude”

i don’t know nothing about mooming but i am best friends with that three inch tall onion head FREAK that looks like an 80 year old 2 year old

this thing is every swear word personified

I like how everyone who knows nothing about moomins still takes one look at little my and always correctly guesses everything about her

That’s good character design, Babey!

this fucking movie i swEA R

my last four brain cells at any given time

stop making jokes. comedy peaked with phineas and ferb.

stop making songs. music also peaked with phineas and ferb

minecraft was actually propaganda made entirely to make us gay. think about it. how straight were you when you first heard about minecraft and how gay are you now

microsoft said fuck notch!

yes!!! they did a good!!!

i do think that unnecessarily bolding and CAPITALIZING and italicizing words is hilarious BUT furthermore i’ve found that with my ADHD it makes it easier to read large blocks of text for whatever reason. it feels like giving my brain something to hold onto, as opposed to those slippery unenhanced blocks of text that i just get lost in.

is this just me? bc it feels like an adhd thing here’s a slippery version for contrast

i do think that unnecessarily bolding and capitalizing and italicizing words is hilarious but furthermore i’ve found that with my adhd it makes it easier to read large blocks of text for whatever reason. it feels like giving my brain something to hold onto, as opposed to those slippery unenhanced blocks of text that i just get lost in.

first one?

beautiful.

second one? 

incomprehensible, uncouth, eloped with my youngest sister Helen in the night,

You seem to find it easier to read BLOCKS OF TEXT which are EMPHASIZED in KEY LOCATIONS. This habit likely stems from an UNKNOWN ELEMENT of your PAST, of which you have VAGUE MEMORIES.

people are tagging this as Homestuck but us 1995-2005 kids REALLY know what’s up here!

date someone who avoids the holes so you sleep fine in the car and curses their government for not using their taxes to fill holes with more cement

There is something very special about driving around at 3-4 AM. Like, am I up ridiculously late? Am I up ridiculously early? The world may never know.

*sees other car* and what the FUCK are you doing up