slightly punk-looking teenager on a cop show: i wont talk. i know my rights
cops behind interrogation room glass: damn. this one teenager won’t cooperate. now we’ll never catch Fuckhands the Baby Murderer. and it’s all because the police doesn’t have absolute authority. this is terrible
grandmas across the world: damn, good point
dude it’s ncis, it’s criminal minds, it’s law and order, it’s csi, svu, the mentalist, castle, bones, I could go on, it’s all the same shit
Dutch people are like “we don’t need to wear a helmet when we ride our bikes, because unlike in the barbarous United States, we have simply outlawed traumatic brain injury”
solid asphalt only hurts to fall on if the road it makes up was designed primarily for cars
Have you thought of just. Not falling.
An Angel
just feel like sharing some trivia since a lot of ppl seem to like this drawing. This creature's appearance was inspired by bomb chipped concrete I saw a lot when visiting a friend in Irpin :0
im letting the days go by and i dont even have a beautiful house or a beautiful wife
real life should have titles you can equip like an mmo character and they have to put like <Bearer of The Torch> on your driver’s license because you worked as a welder for 15 years
had the wildest interaction today some random woman called me a slag and my dog a fucking faggot because I was using a pink lead/harness and he’s a boy like what the fuck lmfaoo
he did start wagging his tail when he got called a fag so good for him <3
imagine seeing this and being like oh my god oh my god i need to say a slur right now
"i love music i wish i could hold it" well you can it's called a CD and it's got a hole and everything
TONIGHT WE FUCK MUSIC!!!
I notice a man walking down the street holding a microphone followed by one of his friends recording him on his phone and I see him approaching a random woman on the street minding her own business, I immediately sprout two wings from my back and grow sharp talons and I pick him up from the street and drop him into the ocean and watch as he drowns 👍
the statue in the bottom right is Le génie du mal, carved by guillame geefs to replace a different lucifer (known as either Le génie du mal or L’ange du mal) carved by his younger brother. why did joseph geefs’ lucifer get removed from the cathedral? it was too sexy. the statue was too sexy by far.
st. paul’s cathedral in liége went from one lucifer, whom they called ‘too sublime’ and removed because he was distracting ‘pretty penitent girls,’ to another lucifer, who they’ve left there for 170 years even though he’s so hot that satanists visit the cathedral to meditate in the presence of this Most Sexy Of Lucifers
here’s how i imagine that went down.
liege cathedral: hmm. you know what we need? a nice satan for our church. let’s ask joey geefs
joseph geefs: sculpts this
liege cathedral: no!! too hot!! now we all want to fuck lucifer! we need a different satan. let’s ask… the sexy lucifer sculptor’s BROTHER. yes. willy geefs is older so he definitely doesn’t want to fuck lucifer
guillaume geefs, who DOES want to fuck lucifer, and the only sign of his being older than his brother is that the lucifer he wants to fuck is somewhat older: sculpts this
liege cathedral: shit. well we don’t have any more money for lucifers so i guess we’ll keep this sexy lucifer
mlm, straight girls, and satanists in the vicinity of liege: NICE
dog time AKA the only reason i've been managing not to overwork myself
death of the author except when its funny
exactly what someone who regularly turns into a dog would say
im having a genuine blast this is like a gender reveal party to me
Someone: hey can you give me some relationship advice?
Me who's aroace: Communicate.
Someone: I tried but it didn't-
Me: break up.
Twitter users will not survive the winter
What do they mean it’s impossible to have conversations there’s at least three different ways to do so here
"It's impossible to have conversations there" -person coming from a website where DM'ing is now paywalled behind Twitter Blue.
