choose kindness

making posts about how beer tastes bad is a lot like that painting of a jester harassing a bunch of dogs while leaning over a wall, except the jester is below the dogs and trying so hard to reach them, and all the dogs are extremely beautiful and strong, and have a wonderful community built on love, and they never want for anything. they never want for anything.

the vet measured junta on sunday, and as we were leaving the assistant said “he wrote down the measurements for you” and passed me this

delighted that this post has lived on in people’s hearts

i said i was against tote bags but then i saw Them

one of my oldest memories is from when i was about five or six years old. my grandma was visiting that evening, so she was tucking me into bed. now, my parents raised us agnostic with a side of unitarian universalism, so i knew next to nothing about christianity, or that god fellow, or whatever. my grandparents never approved of this, convinced they were damning us kids to hell forever.

so when my grandma was tucking me in and she told me to repeat after her and say “i love you jesus,” i did.

but then she said: “there. and now you’ve let jesus into your heart.” and kissed me and left me to dream sweet child dreams probably of jesus saving my immortal soul or whatever.

except, i didn’t know who the fuck jesus was, and i did not understand metaphor. i certainly had not realized that by saying that, i had apparently invited a small man to take up residence in my heart. my child brain raced with panic: was he in there? what would he do? would i be able to feel him moving around? was he stuck forever now? that seemed mean to him, and felt like my grandma had played a trick on me.

so, sensibly, i decided my best bet to expel this tiny man who i had NOT wanted to move into my heart (aside from surgery, which i discounted as an option when i imagined asking my parents about it) was to do the reverse incantation: i fell asleep that night mumbling and mentally shouting I HATE YOU JESUS I HATE YOU JESUS I HATE YOU JESUS, hoping he would get the message and relocate somewhere that wanted him.

I LOVE BED

I LOVE PILLOW

I LOVE BLANKEY

'It scarcely seems possible to avoid,' concludes judge hearing the case

Please share positive propaganda in the notes!

average transmasc friend group

Sometimes your day just gets made out of nowhere

It’s him….

It’s Shrimp who fries the rice…

You called?

Omg hi im such a huge fan

sound on, his voice is something else.

this feels like if all of humanity were to reset and humans had forgotten how everything worked and had to teach each other what things were. this is the Wall turorial

for sale, Christian baby parachute, never opened

"oh, if you make out with friends, you could ruin the friendship" so who am i supposed to kiss? my enemies? get a grip

i'd like to take this time to apologize for my prior lapse of judgement. listening and learning

source

having a tumblr blog is like being the curator of my own personal museum of mental breakdowns and special interests

yall the comedy wildlife photography results are coming out atm and

look

LOOK AT THIS LIL MAN

THANK YOU BRIAN MATTHEWS HOLY SHIT HES GOT SUCH A CASE OF THE MONDAYS