I love you my neither alive nor dead girl. My transient girl. My girl in purgatory. My Schrödinger’s cat girl. My girl in limbo
I feel self-deprived when I’m around people. Not naked or exposed, but incomplete and insufficient. I see myself under a twisted, distorted light. I always appear kidder, less adult, less integrated, less less less … less significant.
“Hell understands me better.”
— Clarice Lispector, from “Brasília”, Complete Stories (trans. Katarina Dodson)
wiremothers-deactivated20230129
loving like an animal
1. "It was always you: your unutterable name, this growl in my throat." - erika meitner, copia
2. "I need your teeth in me, slow and vicious, to tell me my armor is just skin, bones, only bones." - jamaal may, the big book of exit strategies
3. "i know no love without teeth & have the scars to remember" - josé olivarez, i wake in a field of wolves with the moon
4. "and always, there is hunger / I will admit that I do not know if I should hold you or eat you." - derold ernest sligh, occupation
5. "after we have caught love we start eating it to the bone." - marge piercy, a key to common lethal fungi
6. "I beg you, eat me up. Want me down to the marrow." - hélène cixous, the love of the wolf
7. "I have sharp teeth inside my mouth, / inside my dark red lips, / And lacquer slickly hides the claws / In my red fingertips. / So I conceal my armoury. / Yours is all on view. / You think you are possessing me - / But I've got my teeth in you." - angela carter, unicorn
8. “I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it – to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more. Just once.” - haruki murakami, norwegian wood
9. "But I am not yet sure how to sever the love from the lover without occasioning some degree of carnage." - maggie nelson, bluets
10. "I can give you my loneliness, my darkness, the hunger of my heart;" - jorge luis borges, in a deserted streetcorner
11. júlia sardà portabella
“If I’m honest? You scare me. You are the origin of my pain, and yet my only salvation.”
— - tabmiller2566
Vicente Aleixandre, from Sound of the War; A Longing for the Light: Selected Poems, 1979
Honestly it’s not that bad as it sounds. It takes the eagles about 2 hours to get to my liver and another 2 to eat it. The whole ordeal is over by one and I’ve got the afternoon to myself.
“I am both wound and knife”
— Emil M. Cioran, from “The Temptation To Exist”, translated from the French by Richard Howard
“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”
— Louise Eldrich, The Painted Drum (via infamoussayings)