i need all the weird neo-puritans of tumblr and toktok and twitter to realize that people have been having fun casual sex for literally all of human existence and that’s a good thing
you think our ancestors weren’t making sexy eyes at each other over a mug of mead and fucking nasty behind the tavern??? you think cavepeople weren’t having fun animalistic sex??? pull your head out of your ass
the people of pompeii: *openly have brothels and dicks on the floors and picture sex menus*
2023 twitter user: people are only having casual sex because their brains are rotted by porn and capitali- what’s that? yes i was raised catholic why do you ask?
Tumblr staff: ten options is enough for polls, right? No one needs more than that on a regular basis.
The average tumblr user: Hey guys which element of the periodic table do you think is the most fuckable?
this emoji is called the "balls please" emoji
🫴
"balls, please."
here's the ios emoji if anyone doesn't have it on their platform btw
hmm
does anmyone know where i cna get microsoft teams please
my dad refuses to watch breaking bad and i asked him why once and he was like "i dont like how mean he is to his wife :("
Literally the most trustworthy man in existence
i want to be a conventionally attractive wealthy skinny ciswoman so i can go on the bachelor and make it all the way thru the competition, and when the guy proposes to me i just like leap towards him and close my teeth around his neck and bite as hard as i can. just absolute animal brutality like shaking his neck like a ragdoll, growling ripping tearing etc, and then before anyone can stop me immediately run into traffic and die so no one ever gets the chance to understand why that happened
siphonophores will never not freak me out. stop doing that its SCARY but also please don't ever stop doing that you ethereal marine cryptid
the red shape is a person of average height. the green line is one of these freaks. btw
i think we should tear down the statue of liberty and replace it with a statue of armor king from tekken twice it’s size and i think he should spray a umongous cloud of rat poison from his mouth twice every day at 12 AM/PM killing everyone
*eating a ploughmans lunch* so, how long until it kicks in?
These pickled onions ain't shit
Me 5 minutes later:
