Someone hold me, but in a covid-safe way

Someone hold me up with those extendable claw arms

kitten, stop fucking around and tell daddy where you hid his prozac or daddy's gonna add another 'hey there delilah' to the sex playlist

why do you guys only like my bad posts

GUYS YOU CAN SAY FAG IN SCRABBLE AND ITS NOT EVEN THE CIGARETTE ITS JUST THE SLUR

LETS FUCKING GO

One of my favorite genres of post

time to see if my old mpreg player works ahhh!!!

IT WORKS!!!!

MP3 PALYER

inaccurate, they will survive.

counterattacking

they are now playing a friendly game of speed pong :3

geez, these projectiles are really getting complicated

the making posts limit not reading posts this isn’t twitter

onion not even doing satire at this point

me: “yeah I dated a guy in high school who came out as gay. it was before i knew i was a boy so needless to say it didn’t work out”

coworker: “damn dude was preordering”

other things this coworker (who is a cis guy) has done/said:

—got confused about why I’d never been a boy scout because he forgot i was trans

—told me he was gonna get top surgery scar tattoos to match me after i get mine

—laughs at all my trans jokes, even if they’re supremely unfunny

—calls me big dog (and him little dog) even though he is about as tall as two of me

— “I can’t believe she would say that transphobic thing to you. In June? Pride month?”

Once I said "My gender is whatever's funniest at the time" and my coworker stops dead in his tracks, turns slowly and says "So are your pronouns honk/honk?" killing me instantly

My favourite thing about spiderverse is that mileses parents were constantly telling him 'you know you can tell us anything we'll still love you the same'

BOY THEY THINK YOUR GAY

There is one Spider-Man universe where spider man tells his parents he’s Spider-Man and they go “oh thank god we thought you were gay”

And conversely one where he says he’s gay and they go “oh thank god We thought you were spiderman”

especially with how often he said “im-“ and then trailed off. i wanted to yell at the screen like miles they 100% think you’re trying to come out to them right now 😭

I'm getting so pissed with people who are saying Gwen isnt trans. Like they're trying to explain why her dad has a trans patch on his jacket and why she has a trans flag in her room, by saying she supports trans people... wtf???? Literally what ally has a TRANS FLAG, IN THEIR ROOM, BECAUSE THEY SUPPORT TRANS PEOPLE??? That's some shit closeted me would tell my parents when they saw me drawing rainbows. People that are saying this shit are literally just transphobic and dont want her to be trans. Gwen is trans and fuck everyone that argues against that.

which one of these is the so called "american flag"

In Gwen’s universe trans people took over America and made the trans flag the national flag.

Hope this hasn’t been done already

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

voidethered:

wait, does that mean?

oh boy…….

Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

Observe…

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

This post is immaculate

It can’t be true.

And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

I must test it.

Nothing happening so far…

HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

What in the world?

Oh why not? This should be interesting.

Here we go!

Were all mad here in Underland!

What the hell! Never Again!

… Actually …

One more time.

Alright, I gotta try this!

Can’t be that bad!

….

…oh my god…

ask-gmodsfmrocks:

This just gets better and better

This is one of my favourite things to look at

holy shit this stuff is back

The Gravity Falls one though

i wonder if it works for flower crowns?

here goes nothin-

w HAT THE

DID I JUST-

WHAT THE FUCK

Okay Clearly something is up.

Hmm… I wonder

I’m sure nothing could possibly…

HOLY SHIT

IT GOT BETTER

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING SO LONG FOR THIS POST OH MY GOD!!!

I wonder what happens when you wear 8 of these at once…

Never not reblog

IT’S ON MY DASH. ACTUALLY ON MY DASH.

Oh my God, there are so many new ones

Friggin, yis

Always reblog.

IT HAS EVOLVED

The legend marches on…

BEWARE THE MAGIC OF HATS

JDNXHSBSBF

I T ‘ S  B A C K 

a classic meme from when the world was less of a tire fire

ITS ON MY BLOG YESSSS

THIS IS WONDERFUL.

time to bring back outdated memes…

what could possibly go wrong?

eww, it smells like fuckboi

welp, down this rabbit hole we go…

nothing’s happeni-

WTF-

Oh boy, this meme

I wonder if this would work with a wolf hat.

May as well try it.

Please don’t be awful, please don’t be awful, please don’t b-

get wet 4 furry

This is obviously fake

Look, I’ll prove it

Y’all are just acting

Watch and learn

WTFFFFFF

Should…… should I…….

DO IT!

Whelp guess I gotta put on the hat now

Can’t be that bad, I mean what’s the worst a squid hat can do to m-

I̖̝̪̤̠̋͞ ̛̹̱̮̳̭̓̂͑ͫ͐̎ͯ͗͝͡H͇̠͊́̚A̛̓̓҉͙̠V͍̌̏͂ͣͨͭͧ̉́E̸͙̭̣͓̓ͨͥ̿ ̽͗͗ͮ͊ͬͩͥ̚҉̪̗̝̘̟́̕A̴̴̙̝̬̪̞͂ͤͩ̍W͚̣͆ͬỎ̫̝̟͖̝͇ͥ͛ͮ͋K̨̖͓͉̺̫͉̀͗ͪ̊͌̉E͚̲̩̪̘̠͋̈͞N͉͓͕̗̱͒̔ͨͤ͛̓̂ͧ

Holy shit this is getting so freaking better than I thought XD

CASH MONEY

THE FLOWER CROWN

I FINALLY FOUND IT I CANT BREATHE

The legend ensures.

WE MUST CONTINUE

Starting this old trend again but it won’t work-… right?

Ok now this is scaring me

Well only one way to find out if this is fake

time to put this on

WHAT THE FU-

Having your own personal blog is honestly quite a nice change of pace compared to Reddit. I could put a funny GIF of George Bush getting hit by a shoe on here and the worse case scenario is that no one even notices.

You put that on a big subreddit and you get your eyes gouged out and a heap of political discourse underneath your post.

YOU HEAR THAT EVERYONE??? I’M A LIL GECKO BOY

The Redditors really are adapting well to the ecosystem here.

the r/curatedtumblr -> tumblr migration is so funny to me. it's like going to the zoo and enjoying it so much you climb into the enclosure to live with the monkeys

this reply evokes such an incredible image in the mind’s eye

WIZARD TIP: Thirstposting is an art. One must be composed, but not self-conscious. Messy, but not pitiful. Crucially; you must not give them everything.

Oh shit Messi Numero Uno!!

🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷MESSI CAMPEON DEL MUNDO!!!!!!!!!🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷

Boring: they're all found

Better: the find the submarine empty

Even better: only one person left

Best: completely new person found alone on submarine

It’s D B Cooper