reading Unmasking Autism on the train with my legs spread wide, bulge popping, cruising for fat ass bottoms

this shit is too easy

Reading on the train is a good idea

PS: for entertainment purposes only, of course

PPS: actual Washington Post quote

all work is cancelled. everyone stay home and do nothing and lay in bed sooooooo cutely and watch tv shows and have no obligations and kiss together

I emailed sex.com and they said you havent even registered an account 😂

oh yeah well, I emailed poop.com and they said you have 72 alternate accounts

Oh, you're a metal gear fan? Me, I'm a huge metal gear fan!

Perfect.

source

the time has come for Sanrio to bring back Big Challenges

THEY BROUGHT HIM BACK LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOO

Nintendo games be like

Untrue. Switch games are starting to be 70 dollars now and the games go on sale for $55 once a year.

(Joke but also serious)

(I hate it here)

not to be controversial but sometimes I think the private personal lives of celebrities are in fact none of our business

Unless they are being closeted, oppressed or censored and they show discomfort with and about it, and try to warn us or communicate to us about their situation. Just then and only then…it’s also our business.

celebrities are not sending you secret coded messages asking you to save them. i’m so sorry to tell you this but the former members of your favorite boy band are not actually secretly communicating with you about your RPF ship

I could’ve swore you said they were not trying to communicate through coded messages.

I think RBB and SBB handled by One Direction themselves don’t agree with you on that one, lad.

Just two rainbow teddy bears wearing a real expensive Rolex in their wrist and all dressed up at One Direction’s stage tour just for no reason at all.

What a strange happenstance!

NOT. I could go on and on all day. Anyways…great chat, pals!

i’m obsessed with the way that this is phrased like a slam dunk while absolutely being one of the most incoherent responses possible. it’s literally just pictures of two teddy bears

us: celebrities aren’t secretly communicating with you asking you to save them through coded messages

someone in an incredibly bizarre fandom echo chamber with zero self-awareness about how unhinged they’re about to sound: yeah well what about THIS *posts a picture of two teddy bears where one of the bears looks like it’s reading a book about diarrhea* 

I am once again explaining that in order for walkable cities and public transit to work for disabled people, there also need to be more public bathrooms available in and around those areas. Not just places to sit down or rest. Bathrooms. We need accessible, clean bathrooms. With sharps bins. With multiple wheelchair accessible stalls. With an area to set down supplies needed to maintain one’s body. Even if it’s not being used to get rid of bodily waste, bathrooms are one of the few spaces disabled people have to maintain some sort of privacy when they’re in the middle of a flare up or they need to take medication or what have you. Designing a public space? Include bathrooms.

Thinking you can handle a 26% pre-roll but you rock up to the Subway counter and realize the fucking cold cut combo is staring at you

Oh

OH!!!

OhOhOHHhhhhhh!!!!!!!11!!eleven11!!!!!

The ✨

Fucking 😻

European Union's 🌈

Digital Service Act 🥲

Forces large social platforms 🥳

To always offer ♥️

a non-algorithmic option 🌟

To EU users 🤟

[source]

I see US tech jounalists on Mastodon, once again, charging against the EU for "damaging european users" by forcing companies to deliver "a subpar experience". So let me paste something I wrote over there a few weeks ago:

------

I keep seeing very important US tech journalist here talking about how Threads not launching in the EU is: - somehow shameful and a sign of how "you can't innovate in the EU" - a problem for the EU, which will led us to creative interpretations of the GDPR to finally allow Meta to launch here.

And I think folks from the US tech scene really, really don't understand several things:

1) how incredibly hostile the EU (and a good chunk of the European political parties) are to "big tech". 2) how surprisingly immune to lobbying the EU Parliament appears to be. 3) how actually popular it's that the politicians take a hard stance against macrocorps. Every time the European Commission has gone against big tech most the press and the people have cheered them as our champions against evil.

And I can't even start describing how IMPORTANT for the future could be that people started being able to turn off YouTube algorithmic recommendations. I think YouTube shares with meta, pretty much 50/50, the responsibility for the global resurgence of fascism we have seen in the last decade.

[id: two men holding the halves of an amethyst geode, smiling. the geode is heart shaped, and both men are smiling. /end id]

babe are you ok you reblogged the two men holding the heart geode again

They found love between a rock and a hard place

forgot my night time garlic bread in the oven for the length of 2 mythbusters wpisodes and when i opened the oven door it was so thoroughly cremated that i was blinded not by smoke and ash but what surely must have been its Soul as well

no you dont understand, i’m obsessed with him

no you dont understand i’m obsessed with him

ngl, this song slaps way harder than it has any earthly right to

Story time: When I was at university in Japan I lived in an international dorm with all of the other foreign exchange students, and my best friend at the uni was a French girl who lived directly across the hall from me. Nausicaa, and we taught each other slang from our native languages. 

One of the first things she taught me was to respond like this when someone’s looking for something, so like “où sont mes clés?” (where are my keys?) “dans ton cul” (in your ass), which can then be followed up with “comme ma bite” (like my dick)

Fast forward 8 years and Nausicaa comes to visit London from Lyon with her boyfriend, who I’ve never met before, and at one point he says “ou est mon tabac?” (where’s my tobacco?), and of course I say “dans ton cul”, and the boyfriend looks at me like “what the fuck English person” and then when the follow up of “comme ma bite” comes, he laughs so hard I think he’s gonna break a rib, and Nausicaa is just there with this shit eating grin and is like “I taught them that” 

She told me later that day that of all the things she taught me and we learned together, she was so proud that saying “up your ass, like my dick” was what stuck

stop and read the story

rip my eight mutuals who thought i could hold a conversation 😔

Oh my God my vandalism has escaped containment