Evidence against the argument that Superman's disguise wouldn't fool anyone:

Tony Hawk

This… is a very good point

Portals to Hell by hrmphfft

IT’S BACK

I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS AGAIN FOR MONTHS

I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW

ITS BACK 

This is one of those posts that you need to save and tag or you’ll never see it again for 84 years.

hey guys look…i found one of those iconic viral Tumblr posts

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

dog

“The average US president has been charged with 1.54 felonies” factoid isn’t true. The average US President has been charged with 0 felonies. Donald trump, who has been charged with 71, is a statistical outlier and should not have been counted

I kill you

Unmute for full effect.

Also

Since it's watermelon season!

My grandfather used to grow watermelons, among other things, and he told me about most of this, especially the orange spot. Those are the absolute best!

A tale in 4 parts

Wait there’s a follow up

im sorry but you guys are so far behind

okay wait i went back and screenshotted some (most?) of the good ones that were like on the main plot here so you all saw the top posts with the Irish Stegosaurus well that evolved into

also kind of unrelated but because of this stupid subreddit im actually not as bad at identifying flags

anyways sorry for the long post i just really loved this whole thing

"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.

Humans have a really weird mix of mundane superpowers.

We're not fast and don't have a lot of natural weaponry but we're bizarrely tolerant to a broad range of toxins to the point that one toxin is considered a morning necessity for some to perform at work. Gotta love us.

Trees, like animals, can also experience albinism, though it is extremely rare.

the reason it’s rare is because without chlorophyll, the plant can’t get energy, and dies shortly after sprouting unless it has some other source of food. so if you see a plant as big as the one in the picture that doesn’t have any green in its leaves, it’s getting its nutrition from the roots of a neighboring plant of the same species, feeding on the sugars created by the other plant’s photosynthesis.

albino plants are basically vampires.

For a long time, scientists thought they were parasites, and couldn’t figure out why the bigger plants didn’t release chemicals to kill them.

Turns out, the lil’ ghost redwoods benefit their hosts by filtering toxins and acting as a sort of backup immune system.

They’re vampires, and they’re commensal, symbiotic mutualists!

this is super cool! I had no idea

This is among the coolest things I’ve ever seen.

we’ve already discovered forests where trees share nutrients with young or disadvantaged trees and forests where trees can ask their neighbors for some extra food (they literally send a signal requesting aid, via the web of fungus that connects their roots) and forests where surrounding tees will keep a tree alive even when it has been reduced to a stump through some tragedy…

so, while i love the playfulness of “vampire” and i commend the specificity of “commensal, symbiotic mutualists” i think it’s worth considering, at this point, if “member of the community” might not be at least as apt

There are numerous species of plants that have just evolved to not have chlorophyll because they yoink nutrients from fungi or other plants. It’s pretty neat!

Hemiparasitism is a term I never heard before I started learning about plants from Natives, but it adds an entire new dimension to the concept of Succession.

Basically some plants are… add-ons? Patches? They don’t grow in soil they grow in other plants.

They’re capable of living on their own but they’re much happier when attached to their particular host plant and many have a mutualistic relationship with their host plant and now I’m just imagining a climax ecosystem as being full of heavily modded and customized plants, between the fungal mycorrhiza and the hemiparasites.

this ended exactly the way i expected it to

One of these peaches... is not like the rest

Ha I wonder how many strokes the most complex Chinese character has like maybe eightee-

Has a Chinese son, names him bèng-dá, and he hates me

My beloved son 䨻龘 just trying to write his name in kindergarten

I'm lactose intolerant but I think I can still have these 2 pints of ice cream, 8 milkshakes, 12 chocolate puddings, 27 bowls of mac n cheese and suck the teat of this cow relatively unharmed

it hurds

so i went to the zoo yesterday and saw the cutest family of otters ever

and then i checked their names

they’re all NAmED aftER fOOD

EXCEPT kEVIN

WHY

WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS

i was curious (and kinda hoped that kevin was like, the manager of the whole foods) so i googled it and: 

RUTABAGA. THE POLL ONE IS RUTABAGA NOT KEVIN.

so i went to the zoo yesterday and saw the cutest family of otters ever

and then i checked their names

they’re all NAmED aftER fOOD

EXCEPT kEVIN

WHY

WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS

i was curious (and kinda hoped that kevin was like, the manager of the whole foods) so i googled it and: 

RUTABAGA. THE POLL ONE IS RUTABAGA NOT KEVIN.

They just PUT A STICKER ON THE CLEARLY LABELLED USB PORT I'm dying

cackling at this, can NOT believe it's a real, actual quote. it reads so much like one of those clickhole pieces

for the love of god unmute

Muted it took me 6 seconds to figure out what was going on. Unmuted I had tears in my eyes 3 seconds in

OK to make a font out of your own writing

go here

http://www.myscriptfont.com/

instead of printing it off just use this blank thing that way you dont have to scan it or anything

so fill that out by pasting it in any art program and whatnot

then save it and upload it to that site

and itll give you an option to download it

so do that and then install it BAM

I JUST GOT THIS ON MY TABLET IT’S SO COOL OH MY GOD

for some reason it refused to recognize the third page of my letters but they were all pretty unnecessary mathematic things anyway so I’m not too worried. still something to keep in mind though, I hope it doesn’t happen for you!

paintfont.com would be a good place to go to quickly make a custom font for your comic!

ehh

It looks just as horrible in real life..even worse with the letter attached…

I’ll try this later.

you can also use alternative alphabets

Welp. Guess I know what font I’m gonna be using for comics from now on. B)

Welp. Looks like I have to do this now. So I can use this for Tengri’s asks.

For some reason there is no apostrophe in my set, but it still looks cool.

NEAT THING ALERT

The site is now called https://www.calligraphr.com/en/ but it’s basically the same!

today im thinking about the huge buff bread guy from kikis delivery service. highly underrated guy

Genuinely just a good man. Wife adopts teenage witch that needs a place to stay in the city? Sure. Even though you got a kid on the way? That’s fine. Cat too? Love cats. 

My favorite moment with him is when he goes to get some prepped baking sheets and he does this fancy twirl with them in front of Jiji. Like, there’s no other people in the room, he does this to impress a cat.

I don’t think he ever says more than a whole word the entire movie, and I still love him more than most Disney princes based on this one moment alone.

And the part where he wanted to surprise Kiki by making that beautiful elaborate sign OUT OF BREAD to advertise her business and he was all anxious for her to get home and see it

But then when he sees her coming he gets all bashful and runs away 😭

the most underrated thing about the ghibli movies is how deeply they are love stories to working people, to the small folk, to moments of love and kindness. its not just about magic, many movies are about magic and fairytales. Its not only about the people in the stories, but about stories in the people. And they are just loveable.