MAN i don’t get parasocial with celebrities or tiktokers or things like that. but fuckin ao3 authors. if u respond to my comments more than once u are my friend
the other day, i tried to be a woman.
i sat in the shower,
playing music that i think women listen to,
and tried to focus on the feeling of
my nails dragging shampoo across my scalp.
i tried my absolute damnedest
to look in the mirror and not see the me
from fourth grade, when i pulled my hair behind my head
and sang the boy’s parts from the play.
i covered myself in sugar scrubs and
shaved every expected part of me.
i lit candles and attempted to revel in the feminizing
smell of vanilla, pumpkin, cinnamon.
do girls whisper their names to their reflections,
like a mantra, like a reminder?
michaela, michaela, michaela.
like calling for somebody you lost.
it would be so much easier if i, for the rest of my life, could pretend to be her.
gonna start posting polls to find out if im transgender bc im sick of figuring this out myself
the reason dating men sucks nowadays is because they're all too scared of being made a "sucker" or something by women, when the reality is that we are all suckers in this game called life. buy that pretty girl some drinks or venmo that hot woman $20. every experience adds to the tapestry of our lives. existence can be a dream and we love to have fun
"what if i pay for this woman's drink but then she tells me she has a boyfriend" did you bring joy into the world? did you make others smile? will you remember this as an unfinished transaction or will you remember the time you made a stranger's life a little easier
made these a while ago, figured they were tumblr worthy teehee 🤭
Anonymous asked:
i had shown a picture of Jason to my mother and she quote on quote said, "damn, why is he built like a big van."
now that comparison has never left my mind. It shows up everytime i see Jason.
Pathetic creature (affectionate)
Bats are very serious superheroes and you should take them very seriously and DEFINITELY not laugh at them when they break the shiny new toys they just stole from Batman like five hours ago.
how write book?
like that but more
oh noooooo
on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport the first person on the moon went there by accident and promptly died. The next dozen or so people also went by accident, and also died. Number 14 figured out that people who go to the moon die and very cleverly brought a sword and six weeks of travel rations. This did not help.
No one on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport ever figured out why people die in space because they don’t need airplanes and never found it particularly interesting to climb tall mountains. Astronomers use telescopes to take pictures of the ever-growing pile of corpses on the moon.
“why don’t they teleport back” because they’re not on the planet where everyone can teleport anymore. try to keep up dumbass