Are you tired of greasy pots and pans? Stubborn kitchen stains? Messy sponges and sprays? Me too. I wish the sun would devour the earth.
— vladchoc (@vladchoc) January 17, 2013
Source: twitterthecomic
We're here today to witness the union of two special people. The lasers we use to fuse them together are very powerful, so goggles on please
— sharon memes (@chuchugoogoo) October 1, 2012
Source: twitterthecomic
"Look, son! I built a time machine!"Dad, you just put some glow sticks on the minivan.*dad pulls a gun*"Get in the fucking time machine."
— Big Money Rowlf (@iRowlf) May 10, 2013
Source: twitterthecomic
Twitter: The Comic (The Book) will be in book places for getting books Aug 19th. That's tomorrow! Thanks to Ashly Burch and Sean Godsey for helping me with the trailer and being the coolest cats around.
Twitter: The Comic (The Book) is almost here! Over 120 new and classic comics based on the greatest tweets of our generation. You can pre-order it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Indie Bound, and Chronicle Books.
Source: twitterthecomic
MISSED CONNECTION: It was 1997. We were at the park, playing freeze tag. You froze me then went home. Please come back, I want to live life.
— Cool Eric (@OBiiieeee) February 6, 2013
*picks up rattlesnake* yo check out this weird spagehti haha *gets bited* OH MY H*CK THIS IS OUCH SPOGETYI
— Chelsea (@WeedCoffin) January 12, 2013
Tumblr is a computer generated dream world, built in order to change a human being into this *morpheus holds up poorly drawn anime dragon*
— Eiffel 65 - Blue.wav (@ABigBagOfKeys) August 7, 2012
Source: twitterthecomic
Me: Honey, have you seen my favorite turd?wife: yeah it's in the laundry room, I washed it this morning Me: you WHAT
— andrulius (@Peeglass) April 18, 2014
Source: twitterthecomic
Me in Hell: i *like* this. i enjoy suffering, it rocks atuallySatan [exasperated]: this guy is owning me! this guy is owning all of hell!!
— lemons (@respected_loner) December 27, 2013
Source: twitterthecomic
mr owl, how many licks does it take to get to the centre of a tootsie pop? [owls head rotates, begins to spit blood, eyes firing lasers]
— fuckface academy (@apollilaire) June 3, 2012
Source: twitterthecomic
please have a seat. as your doctor I suggest *opens up desk drawer, it's full of raw hotdogs* um I suggest you *stares at those dogs* ummmmm
— kale fan (@FilthyMacrame) June 4, 2013
Source: twitterthecomic
“You have 3 wishes"*smirking*I wish*genie catches on**we start belting*YOU'D STEP BACK FROM THAT LEDGE MY FRIEND*we accidentally kiss*
— A Responsible Man (@OBiiieeee) May 16, 2013
Source: twitterthecomic
"guns don’t kill people, guns CREATE people!" *fires 10 newborn babies out of a bazooka*
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious)
April 9, 2013
You say you kissed a girl?! Hot crackers, whatta scoop! Now *tips back hat w/ little sign that says "PRESS"* did you learn how they pee
— Horton Atonto (@crushingbort) February 7, 2013
Source: twitterthecomic
"all i want for christmas is true love" shut up fcuker you want a video game and Ted on bluray
— mistletoe monty (@weepysweetmonty) December 25, 2012
Source: twitterthecomic
*xenomorph bursts from my chest* Ha ha, get back in there little guy, it's too early!*alien reluctantly takes off tiny party hat*
— Maebeley Momblepot (@maebemarbles) July 10, 2013
"same" i say to a bloated corpse washing up on the shore
— pongu (@killcops247) October 18, 2012
Source: twitterthecomic
Twitter: The Comic is celebrating its first birthday! Thanks for reading, sharing, and submitting. If you want to celebrate with us, maybe surprise your favorite writer with a comic of one of their tweets. Or maybe a song. Or interpretive dance. As long as you're being creative and having fun, you can't go wrong. Be everything that's great about the internet.
Source: twitterthecomic
son, ur 2 now - old enuff for the talk. see, sex is a lot like a ocean - im drownin in it. lol now put ur hand up this is called a high five
— TORMNIABLY PIACKEELS (@Tormny_Pickeals) July 11, 2013
Source: twitterthecomic