Twentyeyes18

“You’re 18?? You look 12” FIRST OF ALL when I’m 40 looking like I’m 25 and you’re 40 looking like you’re 60 don’t EVEN come crying to me

y'all ever hear a song and just. immediately adopt it into your aesthetic and self like “oh this,, this is me now,,, my whole identity,, is this song”

dammit I gonna miss them

I DO miss them!

Remember when we had a president?

i miss the president

Yeah, you talk like you’re into guys with beards, but just you wait until you’re dating one and he sneezes and gets snot all over in his face hair and he doesn’t notice it because the slime isn’t touching his skin and you can’t tell him about it because he has headphones on and he’s listening to “abstract hip hop” so loudly that it’s giving you whatever the opposite of an orgasm is. 

are you okay

TURN THE SOUND ON OMG

photogenic people are rude and im mad at all of them

current emotion: lumpy bird drawn with touchpad on ms paint at midnight

an amazing story

(via 55mmbae)

I’m sobbing omfg

Kitties are solar-powered. It’s true.

i haz a warm

someone: *offers perfectly reasonable advice that would go a long way to solving my problems*

me: 

420 stands for “4got 2 0plogize” and this is how u use it

friend: hey dude why’s lester mad at u me: i broke his favorite mug and 420

basically you want to be a father

this is the most accurate thing i ever read