Avatar

Spring may come

@tuutikkisong

I don’t think the Arkenstone is a Silmaril but I do think that Thranduil “son of an Elf from Doriath” Elvenking looked at this little mortal who had stolen a marvelous gem from a king—not to keep, apparently, but to freely give to strangers—who was sacrificing this treasure, his safety, and perhaps even his honor, but to prevent bloodshed—and drew some definite Silmarillion associations.

(And when he said “You are more worthy to wear the armour of elf-princes than many that have looked more comely in it,” he may not just have been speaking of metaphorical, abstract elf-princes.)

Avatar
Avatar

Lion King (1994) explaining the importance of stylized 2D animation: Lion King (2019) and Cats (2019):

Kimba The White Lion (1965) explaining the importance of an original idea:

Lion King (1994) Lion King (2019) Cats (2019)

Shakespeare (1564) explaining the importance of an original idea:

Kimba the White Lion (1965), The Lion King (1994), The Lion King (2019), Cats (2019):

Saxo Grammaticus (c. 1160 – c. 1220) explaining the importance of understanding that all creative work is inherently derivative once you study the oral tradition of storytelling and history and that’s okay because generations have always reformatted tropes and themes to make them relatable to their current audiences 

Shakespeare (1564), Kimba the White Lion (1965), The Lion King (1994), The Lion King (2019), Cats (2019):

Tyrannosaurus rex (Late Cretaceous) explaining nothing because he’s a don’t give a fuck

I saw a post saying that Boromir looked too scruffy in FotR for a Captain of Gondor, and I tried to move on, but I’m hyperfixating. Has anyone ever solo backpacked? I have. By the end, not only did I look like shit, but by day two I was talking to myself. On another occasion I did fourteen days’ backcountry as the lone woman in a group of twelve men, no showers, no deodorant, and brother, by the end of that we were all EXTREMELY feral. You think we looked like heirs to the throne of anywhere? We were thirteen wolverines in ripstop.

My boy Boromir? Spent FOUR MONTHS in the wilderness! Alone! No roads! High floods! His horse died! I’m amazed he showed up to Imladris wearing clothes, let alone with a decent haircut. I’m fully convinced that he left Gondor looking like Richard Sharpe being presented to the Prince Regent in 1813

*electric guitar riff*

And then rocked up to Imladris a hundred ten days later like

Some people have been wondering about the raccoon. Listen. Listennn. Don't ask about the raccoon.

Avatar

But does the racoon survive the Uruk-Hai? Does he curl up on Aragorn's head, or does he go straight to Faramir? Does he bite Denethor?

My friend. My colleague. My brother my captain my king. I too have been pondering this question, and in my mind there can be only one ultimate outcome.

A few months later

All hail the High Warden of Gondor.

Epilogue: It ADORES Faramir.

I’m going to wear this on my head like a raccoon and show everyone

pratchett will write an entire book about the grim reaper pretending to be santa claus while the grim reaper’s granddaughter goes about hunting down the dumbass who decided to kill santa, and then right when you think you’re done and the oddly pointed shenanigans are winding down he hits you with “humans need fantasy to be human. to be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape,” and knocks you into next wednesday

“Why does the third of the three brothers, who shares his food with the old woman in the wood, go on to become king of the country? Why does James Bond manage to disarm the nuclear bomb a few seconds before it goes off rather than, as it were, a few seconds afterwards? Because a universe where that did not happen would be a dark and hostile place. Let there be goblin hordes, let there be terrible environmental threats, let there be giant mutated slugs if you really must, but let there also be hope. It may be a grim, thin hope, an Arthurian sword at sunset, but let us know that we do not live in vain.”

Avatar

GNU TERRY PRATCHETT

Gnu Terry Pratchett

I love that Gandalf, Gimli, Legolas and the hobbits start all insulting each other on sight and Theoden literally says "It cannot be doubted that we witness the meeting of dear friends." Theoden Gets It

Avatar

PLEASE PROVIDE THE SCENE I DONT KNOW THE BOOKS NEARLY WELL ENOUGH TO APPRECIATE THIS PROPERLY

@theriu SURE!!!

This is after the fall of Isengard, when the Fellowship and some men of Rohan reencounter Merry and Pippin after their capture.

"He" refers to Merry

another BBC Merlin thing we were robbed of: Arthur becoming used to Merlin's batshit power levels and then holding every other sorcerer he meets to those insanely high standards. what do you mean you can't stop time with your mind or summon lightning to the palm of your hand or blast away entire armies? Merlin can! the assassination attempts don't actually stop once the magic ban is repealed because Arthur continues to piss off a different warlock each week just by being himself

A friend of mine on DeviantArt had an AU where Maeglin ended up living with Maedhros in Himring after Aredhel’s death (instead of with Turgon in Gondolin), so I drew her a comic because this AU has a lot of comedic potential if you take nothing seriously.

And then I made this one too:

Maybe they should’ve called it “The Union of Fingon” for political reasons. 

I’m not even kidding it’s exactly that sort of inane thing that wins or loses wars. If Fingon played down The Sons of Feanor’s involvement then Nargothrond and Doriath might’ve helped more. Maedhros should’ve loudly played up that it was Fingon’s idea, even if it wasn’t.

That’s politics. That’s literally politics. If it wasn’t Maedhros asking Thingol for military aid, and was instead Fingon, he might’ve helped. “But he swore to never aid the sons of Feanor!” No you don’t understand, that’s the sort of thing people tend to overlook or forget if the suggestion being presented to them doesn’t directly mention the thing they hate.

Is it stupid? Yes.

Would it have worked? It’s entirely possible.

This is entirely true, but also periods of history/events in history tend to be named after the fact. They probably just called it “the Union” at the time and the historical account that we are canonically reading a translation of called it the “Union of Maedhros” because that’s how it became known.

Also, it very possibly got called the Union of Maedhros because it was a monumental and tragic failure. Maedhros might have done a lot of the legwork, but Fingon was his high king, so in a very real way it WAS Fingon’s Union, even if his only action in relation to it was giving Maedhros a thumbs up.

But post battle, when people are looking back and trying to figure out where it all went wrong, and who to blame, they are not going to take the horror of the fifth battle in Beleriand and lay all the blame for it at the feet of their famously beloved and also now dead King Fingon the Valient.

Especially if you, for instance, live in the city of Gondolin under the new High King Turgon, who was against following Feanor and his kin from the beginning and is mourning his brother. Which is exactly where Pengolodh, a historian from Gondolin who is one of the “original authors” whose works were “compiled and translated” into the Silmarillion.

This sounds kind of far-fetched until you consider the fact that we know people were thinking about this battle in terms of it being a consequence of following Feanorians, because they named it Nirnaeth Arnoediad, “the battle of unnumbered tears” after the first line of the Doom of Mandos. The Doom that also states “On the House of Feanor the wrath of the Valar lieth … and upon all who follow them it shall be laid also.” (Emphasis mine. Reason for putting actual quotes in my bullshit theories suddenly? Unknown)

So, how did everything fail? It wasn’t Fingon, it was Maedhros’s fault! It was Maedhros’s Union! That’s why it had an evil end!

I can pretty much guarantee that they would not have called it the Union of Maedhros if they’d been successful.

And I can do that by pointing at another time Maedhros brokered an alliance and then they fought a battle: The Dagor Aglareb. (which I’m super glad I double checked the name of, cause I get that and the Battle Under the Stars mixed up for some reason)

The Noldor are on the brink of civil war, Fingon rescues Maedhros, who negotiates for land in the north with Doriath, and gives up the crown to reunite the Noldor, and they fight a glorious battle and start the Seige of Angband, and they don’t name it after Maedhros, even though he did all the necessary negotiations, even though he was the main reason it happened and didn’t fail. It was just the Noldor’s victory.

Avatar

ideal Celebrimbor film or tv take is that he has an ominous minor chord leitmotif a la Anakin in Revenge of the Sith that just. never develops into a full villain theme. ever. but also never goes away. Celebrimbor is the “pink-haired teenager desperately dodging heroic plot hooks” of Middle Earth villainy. bloodline? check. secretly evil, seductive-corrupting mentor/work partner? check. major recurring theme across every Tolkien work of moral corruption of pride, greed, jealousy, lust for power, etc. in those skilled in any sort of smithcraft, or even just tangentially related to notable jewelry? double and triple check.

Celebrimbor: [continues going about his day]

Avatar

you know the fic where Tony Stark beats the shit out of all of SHIELD in a weirdly emotionally-high-stakes paintball game? Consider: Fifth Age Aman has gotten boring enough that many elves have started playing war games extended strategic competitions of non-lethal combat. Someone finally convinced Celebrimbor to lead one side.“Fine, you asked for this,” he says. His first move is to reveal that all the enchanted-to-non-lethality weapons he’s been good-humoredly making for people were enchanted in the fashion of the old Rings, and yes he did make a master ring. It’s far less powerful and entwined with his own spirit than the original, which he got a good look at while it burned his flesh and fëa; its destruction would only knock him out for a week or so and he can’t dominate anyone else through it (though maybe a suggestion here and there…). But none of those suborned weapons will be touching him, that’s for sure! Then Move 2 is recruiting his retired murderuncles.

Avatar

to be clear, recruiting his murdergrandfather was Move 0, because Fëanor heard there was going to be an opportunity for grandchild bonding time AND destroying their enemies winning an extended, sportselflike competition of strategy and non-lethal combat skills, and all but teleported to Celebrimbor’s location to help.

Another thing that makes Celebrimbor dangerous is that if anyone of the first two generations of the House of Fëanor lead a war game sportselflike etc competition, at least one of the others will likely join the other side out of fraternal and/or filial spite; but if Celebrimbor or any other 3rd gen or younger does it, the whole Oath crew is all in.

Avatar

Celegorm's apology video would be one of those fake apologies where he's like "I'm sorry people felt kinslayed by my actions. That was not my intention. I did not mean to cause any controversy or massacres" and it makes viewers want to decapitate it. At the end of it he thanks Surfshark VPN for sponsoring him

Avatar

Surfshark?! Wait, are you saying that Celegorm is not sponsored by Raid: Shadow Legends??

Avatar
Avatar

Indeed, Raid Shadow Legends still exists!

Also, Tyelko’s other sponsors include:

Raycon earbuds (Snoop Dogg!)

Nord VPN

His career comes to a brief halt when he gets scammed by crypto bros into buying doge coin.