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@turtleofparadises

Natalie
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Everyone who reblogs this before New Years (11:59 PM 12/31/17)

will be given a small art piece based off of their blog! (Well a photo over Tumblr of it but it’ll be good quality)

And I mean EVERYONE as long as it’s before the end date! Reblog fast for cute art things!

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Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

I love my mom.

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I am risking nothing

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I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy

Why’re you being mean to my mum?

goddamn it

Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances

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twirliest

This has 1.2 million reblogs … Ps not riskin it

1.4 almost ps not risking it

Fuck this post

2.5 million notes I hate myself

I reblogged this twice now

I’m so sorry this isn’t b99 related and this isn’t real but I can’t not skip this I’m sorry

Not taking a fucking chance

Sorry, guys, but Im not taking a chance

No chances… She’s out… And she must be protected.

How dare you

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riarkling

Whatcha doin to me Farkle!

i can’t risk it

sorry babes my moms just my favorite person ever

Sorry I can’t risk it

Fuck sorry guys  I love my mom

Omg I hate these things but I am paranoid. So sorry guys.

2.8 million notes

CANT RISK IT

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trapbvby

Sorry guys

sorry 😩

IM NOT RISKING IT

I did, my mom is STILL DEAD. Works.

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You reblogged my thing where I asked who would 'pass it on' if I gave them a book that says 'pass it on' on it. It also said reblog if you'll be my friend after so I'm here to claim my friendship yay!

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Super happy I have a new friend!

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Reblog if, if I walked past you and dropped a book that says "pass it on" on it, you would totally pass it on and then you'd be my friend

I’m trying to prove a point

I’ve decided that everyone who reblogs will get a message from me asking to be their friend. I’m about to prove some people wrong and oh my is it going to feel good.

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inritum

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

i want you to stay for one day and one nigh with me and give me sp much love i dont have to cry of lonliness tonight, every night

no bUT THE LAST TIME I DID THIS SHIT I WISHED MEETING MY IDOL AND IT WAS RIGHT BEFORE I FCKING GOT THE FCKING EMAIL SAYING I WAS GOING TO MEET TAYLOR OH MY GOD

REBLOGGING AGAIN BC THE FIRST TIME I REBLOGGED THIS I WISHED TO GET OUT OF MY MISERABLE TOWN AND I MOVED TO NORTH CAROLINA (a whOLE NEW STATE!!!! FAR FAR AWAY) AND THEN I SAW THIS AGAIN AND I WISHED TO TRAVEL MORE AND GUESS WHAT LIL BUDDY! I WENT TO ENGLAND AND FRANCE AND NOW IM GOING TO THAILAND AND TAIWAN THIS SUMMER. SO NOW IM REBLOGGING AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD THIS WORKS!!!

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windoorest

JJJJJUUUUUSSSSSYTTTT RRREEEEBBBBLLLLOOOOGGGG

2200 dec SAT and accepted to all the schools I apply to pls!

11:11 2200 dec SAT and accepted too all the 12 schools i apply to

just sitting here wishing to get into stanford wishing my parents would be proud of me wishing my friends liked me wishing my friends were my friends wishing i was theirs wishing friend1 wasn’t too good for me wishing the boy i liked wasn’t too good for me wishing i were sandy from grease wishing i were daisy from agents of shield wishing i were smart pretty nice a good person not me

acceptances to my dream schools pls

oh my god i just realized that this one worked for me. last time i reblogged this i wished to meet tyler hoechlin again in this year. that was like two months ago and i thought: no way that’s gonna happen. well guess who met tyler hoechlin two weeks ago

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carazelaya

So I woke up this morning in a pool of my own blood.

Wait, let me back up.

Hi, my name is Cara and I’m a 21 year old woman. Every 28 days, give or take, I have a period. And it fucking sucks. Today, was one of those where I take from the 28 day cycle. I wasn’t due for another period for at least a week, but considering that my period is pretty much permanently irregular, I get to wake up a lot of mornings in a pool of my own blood. Hmm. Lovely.

I then proceed to dump my sheets, my underwear, and my pajamas in my laundry room in a tub filled with cold water, with the hopes that this time I haven’t ruined them permanently.

What next? Well, a shower of course! To wipe off the smell of rotting blood from my body! Squeaky clean and towel fresh I have about a two minute window before the volcano of blood begins to erupt again from my vagina.

What will it be today? A piece of chlorinated toilet paper cardboard with a string that I get to shove up my hole wherein the blood will sit and rot until the next time I can shove another piece of chlorinated cardboard up the same hole? Or, a plastic lined toilet paper diaper attached to my underwear that causes rug burn to my vaginal area when I walk? Well the later requires less coordination, and it is early, so I guess I’ll be sitting in a period diaper today. The best ever.

Of course, I could always just get birth control, and lessen this whole shit. But 1) I can’t afford it 2) I can’t ask my dad to pay for it because, guess what? Just like the men who run my government, my father correlates birth control with sexual promiscuity! Thus, sitting on my rotting blood, undergoing severe cramps that have on more than one occasion caused me to black out, it is! (Not that birth control is such a walk in the park either, our bodies have to learn to deal with the hormones and other chemicals and consequences that birth control entails.)

Then, I get to go to class, where I have to pretend that I am not a leaky faucet of blood and tissue. I get to sit in Calculus, and if heaven forbid, I need an additional pad, I have to be discrete about it, so as not to offend the men’s gentle sensibilities to the fact that I am the one dropping tissues and blood from my body through my vagina.  

I once asked a male to take me to the pharmacy so that I could pick up (GASP) pads, or as we like to call it “feminine products” (again, so as not to offend the gentlemen’s overly sensitive natures) and had him equate me talking about my period to him talking about his erections.

ARE

YOU

FUCKING

KIDDING

ME

No.

This is nothing like your fucking erection’s. I don’t derive any enjoyment from this. I can’t mentally control any ounce of this entire process. I can’t masturbate my problem away. My period does not end in orgasm.

It stays. For at least five days in my case. Draining blood out of my body. Causing me severe cramps, making me irritable -not because I’m uncomfortable (which mind you, would be reason enough) - but because my hormones are all over the place, bloating me up to two sizes larger than I normally am, I have to actively fight not to smell like a fish market, and on top of that, you want me to be hush-hush about this? Because it’s icky for you?

And this is not an attack on that one man, this is an attack on ALL MEN who on top of sitting on their throne of gender privilege want me to stay quiet and be content about the fact that five days out of every month I get to undergo this happiest of joys.

And then, these very same men have the audacity to get annoyed because we don’t want to listen to their bullshit complaining about traffic? Or whatever other meaningless story they happen to tell us while our bodies are actively fighting against us? Then we get to be the butt of their tired-ass jokes? Sorry, I am most certainly not sorry.

I repeat NO. I say women come out of the period closet and say, “You know what, this happens to me. Every. Fucking. Month. And it’s terrible. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY MORNING.” Because the truth is, if I live in a country where Viagra is covered by medical insurance, but birth control isn’t, I can no longer keep denying that I live in a country that is actively waging a war on women. And if I live in a country that is actively waging war on my sex, the least I am going to do is break patriarchal social propriety to inform anyone and everyone of the shit biological process I was BLESSED enough to be born into.

Hello, my name is Cara, I’m a 21 year old woman, and today I’m on my period. Let me fucking tell you about it.

hello yes this is a good post

Im ganna reblog this twice because hell hell hell yeah!!!!!!!!!

jcgreen72

i’m scheduling this to reblog at 10 every day this week lol enjoy!

So I wanted to click the heart but then I saw I already had done it in the past. Future Alley is proud at Past Alley for liking this. And Future Alley is gonna reblog this AND DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME IT IS NOT THEME RELATED BECAUSE I WILL BLOCK YOU.

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This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years. 

If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life. 

Sure why not.

I made $100 the day after I reblogged one of these damn posts after being broke for awhile. I believe in miracles and the money snake now okay!!

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