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Strider Brand Peanut Gallery

@turntechgodbeheaded / turntechgodbeheaded.tumblr.com

this is definitely dave strider|witch of rage||Daven’t is my name||strilonde slut||Commissions closed!||Davent arts is my art tag||pfp by @steakbatter||
there seems to be some confusion about this. homestuck is my intellectual property, and mine alone. all of my headcanons are 100% legitimate, where as yours are all laughably fake. there is no room for interpretation whatsoever in Homestuck. not even a little bit. to claim otherwise is heresy, and also in violtion of my legal rights as an artist. i hope this clears things up.

I’ve decided to open up my commissions!  I’m will also take commissions for things like Icons, or even discord emojis. Just let me know what you want for those types of things and we can talk about a price. _______________      I won’t draw: -extreme fetish art and gore -Hateful imagery (I reserve the right to refuse commissions for anything that makes me uncomfortable)      Will draw -Original Characters -Ships and selfship art -Any fandom art For OCs and something involving characters from other fandoms, please provide references or descriptions of the characters you would like! Please do not try to buy, trade, or repost my art to other platforms without my consent! I may ask to post a piece once it’s completed, or you can ask me to post if you would like. 

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i would get him tattooed on my body i would paint him on the insides of my eyelids i would print the image of him against my ceiling i would, oh so lovingly, carve the likeness of him into stone i would move mountains do anything just to see him one more time

i would put him in a water bottle and shake it really hard i would put him in a blender and make him into a smoothie with mango and pineapple i would hit him with a flyswatter

Vriskat is such a fun ship because they legit only have "divorce couple" vibes and I think it would be funny if they fake dated or smt only to annoy everyone else

Also I think it would be funny that they have a legit healthy breakup but decide to fake being petty pieces of shit in front of everyone else because they're bored or smt

Karkat: WE SHOULD PROBABLY BREAK UP

Vriska: Yeh your right

Karkat:

Vriska:

Vriska: Do you know what would 8e funny?

Homestuck, page 1,692

John: Answer Dave.

Author commentary:

Davesprite, now the exposition birdboy, helps us understand how gate logic works. They are the means of interplanetary travel. So now, as as student of Sburb, you finally know these planetary quests aren't insular, solitary events where the player never leaves their planet or meets their friends. They're huge, planet-hopping schemes requiring hella teamwork. Also, here we begin the chronicles of Real Dave vs. Bird Dave, and what the meaning of someone's "real self" even is. It's a sore subject, and John is routinely insensitive about it to his bro. John probably flashes a lot of "real self privilege" throughout the story because he's one of the only characters who remains the original version of himself all the way until the end. It's a nice perk of being the designated protagonist.

The "cause I wouldnt give a shit" line is such a flagrant and obvious lie. It's disproven in many conversations, including the one immediately preceding this one. Also, I like how John, instead of saying, "That doesn't sound true, it sounds like bird-you is actually very sensitive about it," just says "ok" and changes the subject. Teens are kind of a bunch of dicks?

this is so funny to me that this was supposed to b read as him quite clearly caring when as a teenager i was like look he said he didn't care so obviously he doesn't and i used it as an argument for him not caring. When clearly it's written as him caring a WHOLE FUCKING LOT. If someone said to me haha I'm totally not being kidnapped I'd b like ok no further questions

i want to be dirk’s therapist so i can misdiagnose him. purposefully. just enough that it’s entirely plausible he could have or be whatever i diagnosed him with. i want to see him argue with himself about it.

It comes from Dirk convincing himself he does and doesn’t have whatever I diagnosed him with for an hour while i smile as smugly as possible without alerting him to my psychological mindfuck

adding caliborn to the list of people i want to therapize not because i want to fix him but it sounds like mutually assured destruction in the form of passive aggressive to full on aggressive psychological warfare and caliborn doesn’t even know he's fighting