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turdberry

@turfberry / turfberry.tumblr.com

borb

My adaptation of the God of Arepo short story, which was originally up at ShortBox Comics Fair for charity. You can get a copy of the DRM-free ebook here for free - and I'd encourage you to donate to Mighty Writers or The Ministry of Stories in exchange.

Again it's an honour to be drawing one of my favourite short stories ever. Thank you so much for the original authors for creating this story; and for everyone who bought a copy and donated to the above non-profits.

one of my favourite things about my boyfriend is that he's 6'4 but convinced he is a normal sized person and this does not constitute "tall"

once, if not twice, a week the card game shop he plays digimon at upload a top-4 photo best described as "gandalf and the hobbits" and every time he is genuinely baffled as to why he looks like that

told him i made this post and he's still insistent that he isn't tall

bf: i'm not tall! i feel like everyone i see is around the same height as me. like people in the street
me: they aren't
bf: but i can see their faces! if i'm looking at their faces they must be the same height
me: you're looking down slightly babe
bf: why would i do that
me: because you're tall

incidentally the fact i am 5'5 also comes as a shock to him at least once a day and then he inevitably asks if i'm "normally that short"

if you lean in real close you can hear his singular brain cell bouncing around like a windows screensaver

Has your boyfriend got his eyesight checked? Bc when I don’t wear my glasses I’m nice and close to the ground but when I do it’s HOLY SHIT WHY AM I THIS TALL, I’M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS, HELP ME time and it’s genuinelly terrifying.

he wears glasses he's just dumb

update to this post from yesterday:

bf: apparently only 7% of people are over 6' tall me: yes........? bf: that isn't very many. am i tall? me: i cannot believe we are having this discussion again. yes. you are tall. you are still tall. you were tall yesterday. you will be tall tomorrow bf: oh my god i'm tall aren't i me: my love the netherlands is the tallest country in the world and even there average male height is 6' 0.5". you are tall by "kingdom of giants" standards, even. but we live on "shortarse island", so... bf: AM i tall though me: you are 6ft 4

he is he's very pretty

Can he make spinach puffs? Asking for irrelevant reasons....

having watched emperors new groove (it's my favourite) he does understand this reference but also he really loves cooking so you saying this has now prompted him to look up how to make spinach puffs

which is to say that yes, he is kronk

Nobody better slam my girl Hubble Telescope after the Webb Telescope pics came out, alright? For YEARS she was the baddest bitch around and we owe her nothing but gratitude

my whole fucking dash is this post

Well have you thanked her yet

[ID: A screencap from Taskmaster. Katherine Parkinson walks delicately across a garden, carrying a tray of drinks, with a teddy bear larger than herself draped across her shoulders. She says, “Tip-toe running.” End ID.]