.....................................18+

In the club

I think I’m literally never gonna be sick of this masterpiece. I think watching it on a loop for eight hours could fix me. Dancing’s what clears my soul. Dancing’s what makes me whole.

delicious in dungeon drop is up til Feb. 12th

Guys they reintroduced Galapagos tortoises to espanola island and they’ve essentially terraformed their environment, knocking over invasive plants so that endangered albatrosses (who need space to take off using the ground as a runway) have returned and established nests!

https://www.popsci.com/environment/galapagos-giant-tortoises-ecosystem-conservation/

Some key details from the articles:

Also,

The reintroduction project for Española is now in its end stage, with all the tortoises back on their home island, free-roaming and reproducing on the their own. (The total population is about 3,000). However, the sanctuary continues to work with tortoises from other islands (because of their isolation, each island's population is its own subspecies).

I am absolutely not joking at all when I say that The Sixth Sense should be required as teaching material when you’re trying to get kids to learn about why color matters.

No, the red DOESN’T mean love or violence or passion, however the creators set it up so that in this particular work red means OH NO A SCARY GHOST IS HERE.

When I was in college (as a lit major) I ended up sitting down and talking to a returning student who was having trouble in one of our classes. He liked books, and he had GI bill money so he decided to be a lit major.

He was VERY confused about the “The Curtains Are Blue And It Means Something” approach to symbolism and I remember that he very seriously got out a notebook and a pen, sat down, and asked me “Okay so what to stars mean as a symbol?” 

And I was at a loss because of course I was! Stars-as-a-symbol can mean a thousand things and are heavily dependent on context. Are you reading a book about sea travel? Stars mean a map. Are you reading Maus? Stars represent faith and community and the way that the Nazis dehumanized Jewish people. Are you reading something by a romantic author who has a thing for the classics? Stars probably have something to do with heroism and destiny. Are you reading science fiction? Stars are probably just stars but if you’re reading Whipping Star by Frank Herbert they are literally people and our entire conception of stars is reexamined.

So one one the things that I think a lot of people are missing in their high school English classes is that whether the curtains are blue matters or not depends on the work.

The fact that Hamlet is wearing black is an important part of the story and the antagonist commenting on it it is almost the first thing that happens in the play.

What color dress is Lizzy wearing at the first dance in Pride & Prejudice? It doesn’t matter, the curtains are just blue.

And that’s one of those things that it takes a lot of time and a lot of exposure to different kinds of stories to learn and when you’re in high school you just don’t have that experience and your teachers are just now telling you for the first time “sometimes it matters why the curtains are blue” and I know you’re going “okay, sounds fake” but the goal is to get you to look at blue curtains and ask if they do matter, which is why they hand you books with big obvious examples of the kind of shit they’re talking about. You read A Tale of Two Cities because it’s full of binaries and line motifs and it’s the perfect thing to teach a fifteen year old how to look for a motif because there are a shitload of them. You read  The Scarlet Letter to look for color symbolism and to ferret out biblical allusions.

“The curtains are just blue” is just “yet another day has gone by and I haven’t needed algebra.” Most people aren’t going to need algebra in their day-to-day lives but it’s handy to know how to do a bit when you need it and it’s good to learn that the concept exists.

If you’re reading books just because they’re fun and you like them then that is cool and I’m glad you’re having a good time and you absolutely do not have to give a fuck about symbolism.

But I am going to laugh my ass off at you if you’re one of those folks who is like “the curtains are just blue it doesn’t matter” and then whines about why scifi and comics and cartoons and video games are all political these days. They were always political, you just couldn’t tell because the curtains were red.

(also because you were socialized to see certain things as apolitical and value neutral but if you’re going “WHY DO THEY PUT SERIOUS MORALS AND SHIT IN A KID’S SHOW, STEPHEN UNIVERSE IS FOR TEN YEAR OLDS IT’S NOT THAT DEEP, LOONEY TUNES WASN’T LIKE THIS” I’m afraid I’m going to have to refer you to all the actual war propaganda made by Disney and Warner Brothers.)

Okay but this never comes back around to The Sixth Sense.

It’s the second paragraph.

In The Sixth Sense the color red is used in a significant way in every scene that involves a ghost.

The creators set up the movie so that when the curtains (or the lining of a box, or a wall behind a character) are red, it means that there is a ghost in the room.

But red does not universally mean “there’s a ghost here!” in fiction. The Sixth Sense should be used to teach introductory symbolism because the film uses the color red as a symbol specific to the story, which is how symbolism should be understood in literary analysis: as largely specific to individual works and not as universal constants.

the thing all sherlock holmes adaptations get wrong is making the guy an irredeemable asshole who treats everyone like shit . not only is it not reflective of the original stories they miss that “nice, smart, well mannered dude who snorts coke when he needs to think” is possibly the funniest character ever devised 

I feel like the modern equivalent is that guy you think is super well put together until you find out exactly how much red bull he ingests on a regular basis.

Modern Sherlock is that very nice English Professor-seeming guy who you bring a problem and while walking from the door of his office to his desk he starts explaining the entire solution you need

And upon reaching his desk he’s like “Excuse me one moment.” and pulls out one of those huge Monster canisters they legally aren’t allowed to make anymore, cracks the whole thing, chugs it, takes a deep breath, and then nods at you and is like “Alright, and then what you need to do is…”

Imagine how much better the dynamic of bbc sherlock could have been if they did this.

why even modernize it to energy drinks??? coke didn’t go anywhere. we still have coke. energy drinks aren’t NEARLY chaotic enough. 

Its is more like you hiring some guy to do private investigation about how your husband maybe cheating on you and Sherlock comes to your house high as fuck. Walks into your living room and without taking a moment to even talk to you or sign any paperwork, he turns around—pupils as big as god—and just says

“Its your best friend Brenda. I’ll email you the invoice.” 

and walks right out of your house. 

Because when it was written cocaine was legal and even considered healthy and useful by some laypeople, even though doctors knew it wasn’t, and Watson was always trying to stop people from encouraging Sherlock’s addiction because HE KNEW BETTER.

So consider this, Holmes, at 2am, desperately searching the flat for the stashes of NOS cans, only to keep coming up with passive aggressive pamphlets about the dangers of caffeine overdose.

Watson wakes up to a stench like Satan’s ass to find Sherlock sitting by his bed with a re-heated pot of cold brewed Deathwish Coffee that had been hidden in the back of the toilet tank (brewing) for five months.  Sherlock is trying to say he’s proud of John’s cleverness in finding most of the stashes, but he’s passed into the fifth dimension and all John gets is a creepy vibrating grin and a sound like a shaken cat.

TLDR, Sherlock did die when he fell off the Falls, but he was so coked up his body didn’t stop moving until like a decade later.

Sherlock as one of those cryptid types the baristas talk about (there’s a post floating around somewhere) who comes in and orders a venti with as many shots as they are legally allowed to add, plus a few more for good measure (and a hefty tip) and then adds energy drink on top of it before chugging the whole thing, to the absolute horror of the cafe staff.

This is the kind of Sherlock Holmes discourse I demand on my dash. Bring me more!

Further discourse! Everyone is missing the fact that Sherlock used cocaine to “escape from the commonplaces of existence” when he didn’t have a case. The drugs are a substitute. Which means that when you hire him he’s stone-cold sober and JUST AS WEIRD. 

So it’s more like realizing that your flatmate with the caffeine/sometimes drug death wish will only chill the fuck out when he has some strange mystery to unravel, so you spend your free time scouring reddit posts that might actually feature a real missing person. Or a ghost. You really don’t care which at this point. When you finally find something your flatmate is THRILLED and straight up stops eating because he thinks he can survive on intellectual curiosity alone, and yeah that’s not good, but it’s better than what he was doing to himself before. Your success is comparative, okay? You stick around for the meeting partly because you’re curious, partly because this is your home too remember, and partly because you’ve found that writing up these insane excursions helps pay off your student loans. Your Patreon is thriving. The entire time your flatmate is interviewing this poor SOB he keeps breaking into manic grins and you’re kicking him under the table, trying to help him remember that others aren’t happy about a death in the family. Halfway through he pulls a cigarette from a stash in his smelly bedroom slipper, offering the client one and yeah, that’s very nice, but… no. No thank you. He’s dressed impeccably and has a violin worth millions just lying on the floor, but the flat as a whole looks like a tornado just blew through and there’s something growing on the walls beside the makeshift lab. Is he rich? Dirt poor? Impossible to tell based on the surroundings. The entire time he rattles off observations about the client not at all related to the case and his continuing good mood depends entirely on how impressed the guy is. If he mentions “magic tricks” or “I saw that on Youtube” you’re prepped for damage control. 

By 8:00pm you’ve finally convinced your flatmate to look up from his research and go half on a pizza, but the second it gets there he shrieks in excitement and runs out the door, demanding that you follow with your legally dubious gun. You apologize profusely to the delivery guy and double his tip, begging him not to call the cops. No, not because you’re afraid of arrest, you just know the head of the local precinct and he’s a pain in the ass. 

You run after your flatmate knowing damn well you have to be up early tomorrow because despite maintaining a private practice you still don’t make enough to get your own apartment. 

You are living your best life. 

That last post…nailed it

Reminder that most of Sherlock Holmes is now in the public domain.

Like…. just saying.

Personally I see Sherlock as ADHD and no one will ever convince me otherwise

I mean — it’s textbook hyperfixation/understimulation right there — I Also forget to eat and sleep and do Human Things when I’m vibing with whatever makes my brain go, and I Also take (medically prescribed) stimulants when I need to think. And Also adhd understimulation makes mundane existence an agony that one will do nearly anything to escape but at least in the modern day we have things like video games and netflix so it’s a little easier to actually get that escape without y’know completely self-destructing along the way (Sherlock Holmes plays Among Us to fill the void between cases change my mind)

And while it’s entirely legit that a modern ADHD sherlock might self-medicate with energy drinks and home-brewed toilet-tank-coffee, I’d LOVE to see an adaptation where Sherlock just. has a prescription?

So instead of hunting down his secret Bad Habit Stash, John could be like “hey, sherlock- the pharmacy called, your meds are ready” and then sherlock would be all “LATER JOHN IM ON A CASE RN I DONT NEED THEM” and John’d be like “sherlock no that’s not how that works”

And then later once the case has been solved and the existential agony of understimulation sets back in, Sherlock could be like “hey John pass me my meds” And John might be “sherlock you already took them this morning I saw you” “yeah but they’re not working yet” “dude it takes time for them to kick in” “sure sure OR I could just take more. I missed some days y’know I gotta catch up” “sherloCK NO I am a DOCTOR that’s NOT HOW THAT WORKS” And then sherlock heaves a gigantic sigh and grabs a can of RedBull that’d been stuffed between the couch cushions and John like swats him with a shoe or something because SHERLOCK NO do you KNOW what that stuff DOES to your HEART PLEASE STOP

I want this more every time it crosses my dash.

Dr Watson: Holmes’ Enrichment Zookeeper

I want to see this so much. Stop making Holmes an edgy drug addled asshole and give us our ADHD genius cryptid with his mystery hyperfixation and new special interest every weekend.

I can relate to that. I always liked Sherlock specifically because I know just enough to be dangerous about every subject that has ever caught my attention for thirty seconds and my weird ADHD brain notices details no one else does but my brain decides conversations aren’t interesting and I forget what someone said while they’re still saying it. Give me more of that Sherlock.

Also why has no modern Sherlock adaptation had Sherlock realize its dawn and he has somewhere to be in two hours but he’s been reading Wikipedia articles since 8:00 last night and he has 47 tabs opened?

Open on pre-dawn light coming in around a pulled-down windowshade. Visible to one side is the corner of a desk with a coffee cup and at lest one empty MONSTER can.

Door creaks. Watson comes in in his robe, rubbing at his face.

“It’s half four, what are you even doing up.”

“I think I’ve almost got this one, Doc.”

John hates being called ‘Doc’ but not enough to Do Something About It. Sherlock knows this, and does it anyway.

Watson grabs the MONSTER empty and gives it a bleary-eyed scowl before tossing it (precisely) in the bin.

“When did you finish it?” (Watson indicates the empty coffee cup)

Holmes doesn’t even look away from his scrolling with a hyperfocused expression. “Half one.”

Watson just sighs. “You look like you’ll fall over in a stiff breeze. Go eat something so you don’t keel over at the presentation in-” He checks the clock. “Three hours.”

It takes approximately ten seconds for this information to sink in. Holmes’s expression goes eyes-wide, and he kicks back from the desk (almost ramming into Watson, who has to sidestep), pops upright, sways for a long second because that makes you gray out after sitting for so long, recovers, and then whirlwinds his way through the kitchen, while Watson goes about getting breakfast at a more sensible pace and splashing his face to stop looking so groggy. Notably, they’re both ready at around the same time, a point which Watson carries a (very) slight smugness over.

(drabble end)

Yes. This is the modern Sherlock we all deserve.

After years of dependence of caffeine and refined carbs for the sake of thinking and not feeling like entire garbage, I tried nicotine gum. The idea was stored years ago from the BBC show, but I went for it out of a combination of curiosity and desperation after a series of anxiety-fueled months of burnout not only gave me some insight into what the fuck was wrong with my brain, but drove me to not only seek but actually get an ADHD diagnosis and that is my anecdotal support of this angle of writing Sherlock. Also the absurd multi-tasking and constant novelty/stimulation-seeking of the US show (probably the most human modern retelling of Sherlock tbh).

I love this but I’d like to add that when Sherlock Holmes was written, labs and academics workspaces where just expected to look like that. It was the Victoria Era Studyblr aesthetic.

If we’re giving Sherlock meds (which we are) we’re also giving him a Bullet Journal and a label maker.

it’s just funny though that in The Before Times when the goat burned (or didn’t burn) there was very little fanfare except maybe some tongue in cheek celebration (or disappointment). but give it a few jokes about lack of ritual sacrifice and a five-year survival streak and two plague years and suddenly we’ve collectively tapped into the seasonal worship instincts of our ancestors from 36,000 BCE and created a new sacred ritual through sheer force of internet jokes and desperate hope. it’s like we’ve crowdfunded a god.

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THE BURNING GOAT TO ME ????

I'm more familiar with the Gävle goat than yule goats in general, but I'll take a whack at it.

From my one hour's worth of research, the yule goat is a very old character in Scandinavian winter festivals. The likely source of that is Christianization of an existing festival. Thor is best known as the god of thunder, but he was also god of the harvest, and was prominent in the yule festival (the celebration of the last harvest).

Thor rode a chariot pulled by goats and goats are associated with him in general, so goats became associated with yule festivals too. People would dress as goats and walk the streets begging for food, pulled goat-themed pranks on each other involving wood and straw goats, etc... Over time yule goats when from pulling Thor's chariot to Santa's sleigh, but some old traditions remain. Straw goats are still common Christmas ornaments, and large ones are erected in town squares around the first day of yule/advent.

1966, the town of Gävle Sweden decided to build the biggest yule goat ever as a tourist attraction. It was 13 meters (43 feet) tall, and made of straw. It was burnt down New Year's Eve... commencing an arms race between those who protect the goat, and those who delight in the old yule tradition of Fire and Mayhem.

This arms race has included:

Running through the goats' legs with a car

Coating the straw in a protective layer of ice

Flaming arrows shot by a guy in a Santa suit

Coating the straw in flame retardant (it burnt anyway)

Bribery to allow the goat to be kidnapped by helicopter

Making a second smaller goat (which was also burnt down most years)

Shooting fireworks at it

Read the Wikipedia, it lists the goat's fate from every year. It has been destroyed more years than it has survived.

Over time, the goat gained a cultural mythos that the destruction of the goat was a sign that the next year would be prosperous, and that the survival of the goat was an ill omen.

2017 they seriously increased security. A double fence, a 24 hour Webcam, and a large team of guards. The goat survived-2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

Which we can all agree were some very shite years. Over the course of those years, what had been a fairly localized tradition got more coverage- the goat had never survived so long.

2021, the goat finally burned. And in that good old yule tradition of seeking levity in the darkest and coldest time of year, people have joined together in the fervent hope that the evil of the last four years will be torched along with it. That is why we rejoice- for The Goat Has Burned, and like the yule log and dawn on the solstice, we are manifesting that it is a sign that better times are coming.

Minecraft Piglins fuck me up. Like, they’re one of two/three seemingly sentient species, but there’s clearly something wrong with them.

They’ve got bastions throughout the nether, huge buildings that at one point were clearly lovingly constructed. Not only were these buildings functional (apartment complexes, hoglin stables), but they created art. Not just carvings, but music. Not even villagers have created music discs, only piglins. Piglins also had access to the overworld at some point, they have a number of items (carrots, water bottles, string, iron) that could only have been obtained from the Overworld.

But… something happened. At some point in the past, something happened, and Piglins lost the ability to maintain their buildings. The buildings fell into ruins, and even though the Piglins stayed with the ruins, they couldn’t salvage them. They just wander the broken hallways.

What happened? Well, we don’t know for sure. But… Piglins are afraid of Zombie Piglins. Even though Zombie Piglins won’t attack them, Piglins still try to get away from them. Despite this, Zombie Piglins don’t appear infectious. Piglins don’t even turn into them when they die. Instead, Piglins turn into Zombies when exposed to the Overworld. The Overworld infects them, and unlike Zombie Villagers, there is no cure.

It can’t have always been this way, Piglins would’ve needed to be able to access the Overworld at some point to get materials. But something went wrong. And here you are, exploring the ruins of a society and left wondering what happened. Or maybe more importantly, are you next?

The Minecraft website actually gives us an interesting hint about the fate of the piglins. In the page on The Nether Update, it says this:

The piglins used to have access to netherite, but they overharvested it, and all that’s left is this crude debris that’s useless on its own. But what do you need to make that debris into actual ingots? The same thing that piglins will give anything they have just to get a bit more of.

The way piglins used netherite in the past was unsustainable, and now today’s piglins are willing to give away riches they’ll never be able to get more of just to keep the ruins they live in today from crumbling any further.

[ID: a page from the official Minecraft site. it has a black banner on the top with the minecraft logo, and the entire page has a dark, crimson background. Below it is a picture of a netherite block, and just under that is text that reads: “Discover Netherite, a material stronger than diamond” all in caps. after it reads “Pure netherite- the strongest, most durable material in Minecraft- is no more. Piglins mined it all out. Now the only way to obtain it is by salvaging netherite scrap from ancient debris.” /end ID]

You know, this is an interesting take on it, but it does seem a bit strange to me.

Namely, if Piglin’s are desperate for gold, so desperate they’ll do anything, then why does wearing gold make them passive towards you?

If anything, shouldn’t it be the opposite? They have no problem killing a player who isn’t wearing gold, but at long as you have a golden hat or golden boots, they’ll let you pass by unharmed (unless you break their other rules). If they were truly driven by nothing but greed for gold, then I would expect them to attack players wearing gold on sight to try to get it. But it’s the opposite.

Gold certainly wouldn’t let you blend in with them, they clearly recognize you as something other than them, and brutes still attack you regardless. So that can’t be it. Piglins are still smart enough to barter, to understand that things should be given in exchange for gold, and they understand the difference between gold ingots (currency) and gold items (gifts). They also can’t always be distracted by gold. If they’ve been hurt, then they ignore it in favor of attacking you.

So, what if gold isn’t so highly valued by Piglins purely because of it’s association with Netherite? Or maybe that’s where the idea came from initially, but over time as conditions worsened and stories were lost, gold came to have a new meaning for piglins: safety from infection.

Fun fact about gold irl, it has strong antimicrobial properties. Silver and a few other metals do too. Gold in minecraft also has significant healing properties, AND gold has significant anti-zombie properties. Golden Apples not only heal players, but they can be used to heal a zombie villager. Glistening Melons make health potions, and Enchanted Apples are one of the strongest healing items in the game.

So maybe the Piglin’s strong fondness for gold is less about Netherite, and more about a belief that it may offer protection from Zombification? If that were the case, then Piglins being more trusting of players wearing gold makes sense. It’d be the equivalent of feeling more safe around a person wearing a mask today. A player wearing gold has signified that they are protecting themselves and others from the infection.

This theory is further backed up by Piglin’s singular natural enemy (they hunt Hoglins, but that appears to be for food, and the babies get along), withers. Piglins are hostile not only towards the Wither itself, but towards Wither Skeletons. And it’s only Wither Skeletons. Regular Skeletons and even Zombie Piglins aren’t attacked by Piglins, but Wither Skeletons are on-sight. Why? Well, maybe they have something to do with this infection. Or at least, maybe Piglins believe withers have something to do with this infection.

It’s also worth noting, when you spawn the Wither, the achievement you get for it is “The Beginning?“ and for killing it you get “The Beginning.“ Which is an odd string of achievements for spawning in and killing an out of the way boss.  A strange parallel to when you enter The End, and earn “The End? Or the beginning?”.

The constant implication is that you’re starting… something. Something bad happened here, and you may not have all the answers, but you do have two hands and you can try. You can start something new, or maybe bring back something old, and who knows? Maybe you’ll find the answers given enough time.

@infinitystation the plot thickens

[mumbling] pokkan pokkan umarechatte, sekkan sekkan wakarechatte, tamari tamatte utaou, bokura nakama wa, pokkan pokkan dete kichatte, sekkan sekkan hanarechatte, Tsumori tsumotte odorou itsumo dokodemo–

Julia Zhuravleva on Instagram

If you follow Selmers to the poetry society meeting in Night In The Woods, this is her poem. I loved it and the themes of the game, and wanted to use it as practice to see if i can control the way readers ‘hear’ the words through images.

the face of a new man

lord of the flies is so fake this is what teenage boys are really like

YOOOOOOOOOOOO CHECK THIS OUT

this is amazing, it links to where you can watch each player

it also will have live updated leaderboards

limbo

anyone else scared of single player minecraft. not just like oh it’s scary to mine alone. but the odd paranoia that there is another user there. that you’ll be playing alone and leave your house and there’s a person standing there. or you’re mining and there’s a user standing in the path you mined that leaves when you see it

God I thought I was the only one

i literally can never play for long before getting that genuine weird fear and exiting the game :(

are you scared of herobrine

Honestly Minecraft is so eerie because of that loneliness. I have always seen the “story” of Minecraft as Steve’s fruitless search for other survivors, wandering the landscape, following maps and unearthing ruins and hoping to signal to someone else—anyone else—that he is here, that he’s alive.

For example, the Beacon has obvious utility for the player, but in the story, it seems much more like it would be built as a signal to others.

It is made more eerie by the fact that the creatures he encounters are misshapen mirrors of a human form. The villagers are clearly evolved either from humans or a human-like ancestor, but are not themselves human. Drowned and Zombies perhaps were once human, but unlike zombie villagers, it seems that they cannot be cured. (Maybe he will find a way. Maybe, maybe.)

The Endermen are peaceful when respected, if unnerving. They used to frighten him, but he has been alone for so long; the empty horizon that once held hope has become so unwelcoming that the garbled syllables of these flitting black figures are almost a comfort. He talks back to them, seeing patterns in the handful of noises they repeat that aren’t there.

He has followed the clues left in the ruins, piecing together doors to the hellish, inhospitable realms the previous inhabitants of this world must have tried to escape to, and encountered incomprehensible beings. He has discovered weapons and ancient texts imbued with magic and learned to replicate it.

It has been so long. He has traveled so far, from the harsh, unforgiving lands of the desert, over mountains and into sticky jungles, and there is never a new clue, a new signal, something, anything left that might indicate that there are survivors.

So what would he think, if he saw someone appear, standing in the doorway of the fortress he has built over the years, someone human? Someone else, after so long spent searching? After so long spent knowing, deep, deep down, that there is no one else left?

What is more likely? That he would think this is a surviving human, incomprehensibly, after all this time?

Or that this is yet another being, in a world of magic and strange power, that once was human, or is trying to be human, or is not quite human, that is just

better than the others at pretending?

a little comic i did because i like when character designs directly incorporate hcs

Memories from Dreams

I heard Niki say "I started baking again" and I'm pretty sure my brain short-circuted. Losely inspired off of this ask! :D

list of mundane things that feel like ancient human rituals