Constantly Daydreaming

there is a demon in your house named CARBON MONOXIDE. he enchants your mind with confusion and your body with exhaustion. you need to call a powerful exorcist named HVAC TECHNICIAN

This transition is straight out of a horror movie

@heymynameismolly-jk wow

once when i was ten, so seventeen years ago, i was on one of the neopets forums that was in 2006 frequented mostly by edgy teenagers with pete wentz urls who wanted to get around the ban on romance and gay talk to discuss mcr members making out. and it was well past midnight and i was secretly on an extremely clunky laptop the size of a modern desktop, sitting on my top bunk in the tiny room i shared with my sister. and i do not remember the forum topic at all but at some point one of the participants politely asked me, "hey, how old are you, anyway? twelve?" and when i honestly replied "ten," he responded:

"WOAH. Kid, you'd better get off the boards. Wandering the Neoboards at 2 AM is like walking nekkid through the Bronx with your wallet dangling from your nipplz."

and this frightened me so much i slammed the computer shut and went to bed immediately. seventeen years later i still remember this message word for word. including the filter-avoidance misspellings. i need everyone to know about this formative childhood memory. bronx wallet nipplz guy if you're out there hmu and tell me what ur deal was

read jade route

They should invent a phrase as incredibly evocative as "killing myself" that isnt about killing yourself

Bruh

I can’t believe I read this post with my own fucking eyes

I love it unironically, I burst out laughing. It hits the same note as “the opposite of malice is bonfire”.

the waterfall to my firefly

I will not roll over like a motherfucking hound

just the concept of a kid fusing with her dog... her dog that practically raised her since she was a small child and loves her so much that he'll bend the laws of physics to keep her safe. and now that love will always be a part of her, something that is both so comforting and so so isolating. she will never see him again

what's fullmetal alchemist

this is the best possible reaction image for this post because the tweet originally said homestuck

oh you know

this is the first time in my life i've seen a meme edited so much that it just says the original text again

Felt like drawing Karkat

Humans, how do they work?

Bonus Ending:

NEXT

i've been super stressed and overworked lately so i've been craving a cigarette really badly but i quit years ago and i don't really want to buy a whole pack when i know i'll only smoke one or two of them anyway, so instead whenever i feel like i can't take it anymore i just vividly imagine myself taking a smoke break in my head and the crazy thing is it actually makes me feel better. i feel like the 4chan burger tulpa guy.

using my psionic powers to give myself a tasty little treat without succumbing to the weakneses of the flesh

every day i think of this tweet

i miss her

jayfeather

in the words of the great Elizabethan wordsmith William Shakespeare, in Hamlet Act IV Scene V, “When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions.” or, in the words of the great Twitter wordsmith @Horse_ebooks,

this is 1947 Cincinnati Enquirer erasure

please do not forget your smash mouth

— Men at Arms, Terry Pratchett