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i dream of slow mornings with you

Bongo Lessons are about to begin.

Print available here.

holy sh*t

IM the demon living in my house ?

Movies I Highly Recommend

That relatable (older) Gen Z memory: when all the projectors and white boards got replaced by Smart Boards™ around like fifth grade and none of the teachers knew how to use them but they Had To Use them otherwise the school just wasted a bunch of money and it was a rlly weird transition

an addition: when they calibrated the board by pressing the dots and everyone in class lost their minds

What in the fuck u guys talking bout

is he…you know [makes motion of sucking a dick] greek?

is he … you know [makes motion of bribing and murdering people for power in an oligarchic and timocratic war state] roman?

things heating up in the classical civilisation fandom

You can control white people by giving them cheese

cheese is so good tho

I got one

If you have sex on halloween, is it a monster mash or a graveyard smash?

Still hurts, but enough time’s passed for me to get out this bit of catharsis. I miss my kitty.

I’m not crying, you’re crying

:C

my fave greek history story to tell is that of agnodice. like she noticed that women were dying a lot during childbirth so she went to egypt to study medicine in alexandria and was really fucking good but b/c it was illegal for women to be doctors in athens she had to pretend to be a man. and then the other doctors noticed that she was 10x better than them and accused her of seducing and sleeping with the women patients. like they brought her to court for this. and she just looked at them and these charges and stripped in front of everyone like “yeah. im not fucking your wives” and then they got so mad that a woman was better at their jobs then them that they tried to execute her but all her patients came to court and were like “are you fucking serious? she is the reason you have living children and a wife.” so they were shamed into changing the law and that is how women were given the right to practice medicine in athens

Yeah, this isn’t some Greek myth story about a hero or demigod or something, Agnodice was a real person who actually did this.

Hypocrites wasn’t shit.

this subway crowded as fuck, thanos was right

no cough syrup

you are not ‘grape flavoured’

have you ever tasted a grape

you taste like death and the tears of small children

not fucking grape

wow what a surprise another cis-gendered white upper-middle class american male telling someone what they can and cannot identify as. why don’t you go fuck yourself

#i can no longer tell what is and isn’t a joke on tumblr any more

mutuals take this test and tell me what you got

I got a 58. Smh “had your butt cheeks fondled”

LMFAO i know right. also i feel like beastiality and incest shouldnt have the same point value as holding hands. anyways i got a 65

38 I’m square

79..

29 :-) for serious though someone save me from my life of sin.

84 lm a o

i got a 22 ahshsjhsjhs

29 oops

23...

men in greek mythology? scoundrels. just terrible. woeful social skills. murderers. kidnappers. violent misogynists. most of them… never described as handsome so we have to assume they were ugly. 

narcissus? unproblematic. beacon of transformative self love. king of the swerve. gay icon. couldn’t recognize his reflection but neither can my dog, we aren’t holding that against him.

Narcissus wrote this

I refuse to believe Narcissus could read.

i’ve been thinking about this response for the better part of 2 hours and it hasn’t gotten less hysterically funny to me

do kids these days know about grace kelly by mika

WHAT. IS. THIS. SORCERY.

1. i can’t believe there are people in the world who haven’t heard this

2. go check out mika he’s great - important to note is that he’s mlm (he’s come out alternately as being gay, bisexual and ‘not interested in labels’ for a while) and a huge amount of his songs are about being mlm so in particular if ya need good mlm artists check him out

Seriously Mika is a gift and sunshine unto this sick sad world

mika is wildly popular in europe but his north american fanbase is like, six people and a napkin, and it’s killing me. 

ALSO, he came out as bisexual/‘not interested in labels’ like a decade ago, but much more recently he came out as gay, so he’s gay! his latest album, No Place In Heaven, is almost completely about being gay. it’s got a song abt his sexuality and his religion, a song abt pining for your straight best friend, a song abt the music world that includes the lyrics “where have all the gay guys gone?”, a song abt gay and lesbian solidarity, a song abt heterosexual expectations from family, and two songs that are just abt being super ridiculously in love w your partner.

please listen to Mika’s entire discography because there are a LOT of classics that i’m 100% sure you’ve heard at some point in your life, all the love songs are implicitly gay, it’s great, but ESPECIALLY listen to No Place In Heaven (2015).

it always surprises me to remember that mika isn’t actually a part of the global populace’s general consciousness

because his debut album, life in cartoon motion, was such a huge part of my generation’s tween and teen years

like, i guarantee you, you can walk up to any swedish millennial, and they will still know every single line of his song lollipop

it was just a part of our upbringing;

This is the song of his I remember being popular here in Ireland, Love Today!

I LOVE MIKA