that comment about how you should not borrow grief from the future has saved me multiple times from spiraling into an inescapable state of anxiety. like every time i find myself thinking about how something in the future could go wrong i remember that comment and i think to myself: well i never know, it might get better. it might not even happen the way i think it will and if it does happen and it is sad and bad ill be sad about it then, when it happens. and it’s somehow soo freeing

*places an orange just outside a fairy ring to see what comes out* science is more of an art than a science

*the orange grows legs and skitters away*

Fascinating results *places a banana in the same spot*

*clawed hand reaches out of the ether and drags it into the ring, leaving ragged claw marks in the soil as it disappears, back into the ether from whence it came*

“let’s go to the extreme.” *places a pineapple in the same spot*

Real scientists would keep putting an orange in the same spot to make sure the results are consistent before moving on to other fruits or different spots.

The only valid response to this post.

We’re working up the complexity levels of fruit until we feel there is enough evidence to support the judicious placement of a volunteer twink

You sit down, we haven’t seen what’s happened to the pineapple

#this is tumblr we’ve all seen what’s happened to the pineapple

tags via @sylveondreams

"why can't they just be friends" not in the homophobic way but in the "their platonic relationship in the source material is far more dynamic and complex than the sanitized personalities they gain as a result of shipping" way

"why can't they just be friends" not in the homophobic way but in the "this is a valuable exploration of intimacy and vulnerability that we’re conditioned to recognize only in romantic relationships but that can exist platonically as well" way

Resources for Mending Clothes

We toss out over 80 pounds of textiles each year. These textiles are often made of plastic materials (polyester, nylon), made in unethical conditions, dyed with harsh dyes that often get put into the rivers, etc. Even a single cotton shirt releases carbon emissions and uses tons of water. 

So the best thing to prevent the unsustainable growth of the fashion industry is to make sure that your clothing lasts as long as possible. To do so, mending clothing is a must. So here are some resources to help you learn how to do various things, such as sewing a button, to tailoring clothes, or even upcycling old clothing into new styles. 

* How to sew on three different types of button

* How to hand sew on a patch on a torn pair of jeans

* How to sew up a hole in an old shirt

* How to sew a simple T-shirt

* How to upcycle old clothing into new clothing

* More upcycle and sewing techniques

* How to repair a damaged sock

* How to do an invisible stitch

* 3 different stitches to work with for different results

* How to make a T-shirt smaller so it fits you better

* How to make repairs to your shoes

These are just a few of the things that you can do in order to make sure that your clothing lasts for a long time. Nobody wants to keep buying new clothing, as it is expensive and wasteful. 

So making alterations to your clothing, or fixing small holes hen you see them can be hugely beneficial to your wallet, to garment workers, and to the environment in the long term. 

Mending! It’s really satisfying, saves money, and saves the planet!

Mending! It’s really

satisfying, saves money,

and saves the planet!

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

i have been in america lately and tried its Various cuisine’s here is my review

wendys

cook out

steak n shake

cracker barrel

costco

chipotle

sonic drive thru

taco bell

sheetz

my kind or content

Please read this whole thing because it only escalates the food related nonsense

Also as an fyi for non-americans, Sonic is exactly as they described. It’s a hybrid drive thru restaurant where you park your car and push a button to order, then a kid on roller skates brings you your food directly to your car, sometimes with a little tray of you’re in a fancy area.

You aren’t expected to tip, but are allowed to tip.

it’s a cold and it’s a broken hollaback girl 

It goes like this, the B the A,

The minor N, and the major A,

The baffled queen composing “It’s bananas”

I’d heard, that you, were talkin shit

And didn’t, think, that I’d hear it

How is anyone supposed to be normal after that. G-d looked back at me for a minute

ALEX HIRSCH PLEASE

MOM WHY ARE PHINEAS AND FERB SHAPED LIKE THAT

…is this really Alex Hirsch?

If it’s not, it’s the best Stanley Pines impersonation I’ve ever heard

i looked it up, and apparently it is Alex Hirsch, and it looks like Disney had him do it for April Fools Day one year

y'know how in some areas like south asia, the caribbean, and so on, feral dogs are a serious pest issue, and some people kill them, eat them, etc? and yknow how that fact absolutely horrifies people in countries like the US? i wonder how many of those dog defenders fucking hate pigeons.

also makes me think of the time someone bought a pig that was being sold as a pet, killed it, and ate it and i remember a bunch of redditors thinking that was the funniest shit, meanwhile i'm still hearing talk about how "chinese people eat dogs" like its fucking horrifying.

the dog is a sacred animal in USian Culture; it is considered a great taboo to kill one, let alone to eat it. many cities and towns in america section of portions of land, called "dog parks", for dogs to hunt, fight, and even play. despite this, the american often takes this sacred animal everywhere he goes; if one spends a few minutes in any city, he will see dogs of all shapes and colors walking on expensive, personalized leashes. some people will even bring their dogs into stores and restaurants, despite the hygeine issues these animals provide. so next time you see your local canine, remember that in the United States of America, he'd be treated like royalty!

the dog is so revered in usamerica that they named they staple food, their main source of nutrition, their most important nourishment after it, one might even perceive some sort of psychosexual veneration in this treatment, since this ubiquitous dish is prefaced by the word "hot", an epithet usamericans constantly use to refer to individuals they find sexually attractive

The Usonians have even named their mating rituals in honor of the dog, referring to intercourse without protection or lubrication as "rawdogging." The "raw" implies that the act of unprotected sex is like an uncooked canine. Furthermore, if a Usonian citizen is held in high regard, it is said that they "got that dog in them." The leading theory is that the dog is revered as a fertility deity of some kind. This theory is further supported by the term "get knotted," which

Consider, too, the American tradition of updog;

Not a usonian scholar, what's updog?

nothing much whats up with you

LIL TAY??????

So… did anyone have Lil Tay being incredibly based on their 2024 bingo?

Honestly bless her - I'm glad she got out from under her parents' thumb, being a child social media star can be even worse than being a child actor

😳SCARLETT JOHA- oh wait no nvm it’s someone else

Yeah quiet quitting is great and all but have you tried chaotic working?

Like. I remember back in my grocery store cashier days I did so much crazy shit.

When WIC (Women, infants, and children voucher program to help low income mothers/families with children) people were in my line I would pretty much know who they were. Before the cards they had to tell us upfront they were WIC and show us their vouchers for what they were allowed to get (it was awful some times. Like. 2 gallons of milk. $4 worth of vegetables etc etc). They’d always have items hanging back, waiting to see what the total was and if they would have to take it off the belt.

I began to place the fruits/vegetables a certain way on the register scale so that like 1/2lbs of grapes read as like .28lbs or something. Then act shocked when I said that they still had X amount of lbs left. They got all their fruit and vegetables.

I think it started to kinda? Catch on to the women? Because I would have the same moms in my line month after month. And even after they switched to the cards (they worked like food stamp cards?) I’d still do the same thing. They were able to get more produce for whatever shitty max amount Indiana gave them.

Anyways. Be chaotic. It’s more fun that way.

you ever see a poll and just Know that a character lost purely because their source material is less well known than the winning character's

there'll be polls that are like "bipolar swag bracket round 1: PIKACHU from POKEMON vs SQUIMBUS from SOME MANGA FROM 2003 THAT ONLY SOLD 40 COPIES"

and you'll look in the comments and it's all "vote squimbus!" and *8 paragraph essay about how squimbus canonically has bipolar* and "#squimbus sweep!" and "squimbus my beloved" and *personal story about how squimbus inspired them to get help for their bipolar disorder*

and the only comment referencing pikachu is like "i have no clue who squimbus is but i like pikachu"

so you decide "yeah sure i'll vote for squimbus why not" and you see the results and it's like

pikachu: 93%

squimbus: 7%

A brief moment of rationality from the bird place.

"-964⁰C... Reason: Leaking United States Classified Documents" Babe they are putting you in cryosleep 😭

Art by Hugo Lambert

a clip from my new comedy special (x)

Glowing Giant Fish Made of Discarded Plastic Bottles, Playa de Botafogo, Rio de Janeiro, Brasil

The glowing

Best people. #ACAB

Each sentence gets worse. Each sentence gets more MAGA.