Pouring vinegar down my urethra before using a sounding rod to put some baking soda in there as well. I'm sure to win the science fair at this rate

yeah I guess that's an example of a post you could make

That is a hell of a deep cut.

Hm? I mostly just love that monologue and saw my chance to trot it out

Hm? I mostly just love

that monologue and saw my

chance to trot it out

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Inspired by something that happened irl

I was kaveh

hmmm

girl who loves her friends so much but is so bad and awful at messaging them back for some reason even though she really really wants to talk to them

I got the romance sugar cubes

Guys

our cat is a MENACE!!!!!!!!!!!!

💯🙏💛🟨👍

Worst part about this is I've only ever used that yellow square emoji once and it was just to see how it looked. This isn't who I am. However, in retrospect, I suppose it is

Reading through the notes is a surreal experience please keep adding more to fuel my effervescent consumption of non descriptive emojis

ode to this cute anime angel i was obsessed with in 2007 she had a goth gf but i could never find the image i hope they reunite some day ......

omg love wins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

double face barbenheimer is very vivid to me

i’m fucking shrieking with laughter. It sounds like his dick is a deranged yard sprinkler or a terrified pigeon turned loose in an apartment.

This clip looks like a major league piss-artist in action. 

If Wikipedia and the few times I’ve seen him on TV are anything to go by, that’s Giles Coren in a nutshell.

…I’m sorry. (Or no, I’m not.) But his dick “rattled on her teeth”? Rattled?

(walking off)(smh) Boy needs to have that looked into.

…I’m sorry. (Or no,

I’m not.) But his dick “rattled

on her teeth”? Rattled?

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

(If you learned more than one, pick the one you learned the most or took for the longest time or enjoyed the most or whatever. Pick the one most meaningful to you.)

~ male positivity post ~

Cis Men deserve respect, love, and the ability to be who they are without judgement.

Transmen deserve respect, love, and the ability to be who they are without judgement. 

White men deserve respect, love, and the ability to be who they are without judgement. 

Black men deserve respect, love, and the ability to be who they are without judgement.

Asian men deserve respect, love, and the ability to be who they are without judgement. 

Arabic men deserve respect, love, and the ability to be who they are without judgement. 

Straight men deserve respect, love, and the ability to be who they are without judgement. 

Bisexual men deserve respect, love, and the ability to be who they are without judgement. 

Gay men deserve respect, love, and the ability to be who they are without judgement. 

Religious men deserve respect, love, and the ability to be who they are without judgement. 

Athiest men deserve respect, love, and the ability to be who they are without judgement. 

All men deserve respect, love, and the ability to be who they are without judgement. 

If you don’t believe that, you’re sexist.

There are multiple drinks called "hot chocolate" and that has to be sorted out before answering.

US version of "hot chocolate" in packets: "powdered milk + chocolate powder + whothefuckknows sugars and preservatives and anti-caking elements etc" that you add to hot water. (Or hot milk, if you can heat up milk without scalding it or turning it boiling. If you wanted to to the hassle of heating up milk, get some damn cocoa powder and make the good kind; the packets are for people (like me) who are too lazy to go to the effort of dealing with hot milk.)

European "drinking chocolate" which is basically liquid chocolate, generally served in cups slightly larger than a thimble, and is basically melted chocolate, thinned a little with milk or cream.

Neither of those is anything like "chocolate milk." But there's a third kind.

"Proper" hot hot cocoa, sometimes also called hot chocolate - made with cocoa powder, sugar, and milk (and possibly a touch of vanilla, and other spices to taste - cinnamon is a common addition) - is arguably similar to "milk chocolate" but if you heat up milk chocolate you won't get something that tastes like the recipe on the Hershey's Cocoa Powder box.

Chocolate milk is "Milk with chocolate syrup added." It rarely has extra sugar. It generally has some additives to prevent the chocolate from solidifying when it gets cold. (I have no idea what happens to hot cocoa when it gets cold; we never let it sit that long.)

It has (1) less chocolate than hot cocoa; (2) different nutritional benefits (hot cocoa generally has more B12 and Magnesium), and (3) a very different mouthfeel.

Heating up chocolate milk will not get you the drink commonly known as "hot cocoa." Chilling hot cocoa will not get you "chocolate milk."

Neither of those is

anything like “chocolate milk.”

But there’s a third kind.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

I graduated high school in 99.

There was a student at our school named Wayne.

Wayne was gay. It was obvious. He was unable to stay in the closet even if he wanted to. To make matters worse, he was also Black. From a bullying standpoint, that was not a great combo. Both Black and white students made fun of him relentlessly. He was ostracized from the only community that may have given him protection. Only us theater kids stuck up for him, but not to significant effect.

Wayne was bullied so much that at one point he finally snapped and attacked his bullies with a lunch tray. I was actually seated in perfect line of sight and just sat there chewing my soggy fries in stunned silence. It didn't even seem real as I was witnessing it. The image of him wailing on his main bully as the food on his tray flew off is permanently logged into my long term memory.

The bully he attacked had blood all over his face and went straight to the nurse. Other than superficial cuts, he was not injured.

Before the attack, Wayne went to teachers for help. He went to guidance counselors for help. He went to the principals for help.

He did all of the things you were supposed to do. No one helped him. They wagged a finger at the bullies and warned them to stop.

Wayne's lunch tray melee was the only thing that worked. His bullies stayed far away from him. But a week later Wayne was expelled and the bullies were given no punishment.

So... no.

No one in my school talked about being trans.

Because the only way to survive being openly queer was to bash people with a lunch tray.

i’m going to start saying “sorry i was stimming” in an indiana jones voice forever now

“We were hooking up all through raiders vut they never showed it”

I just realized that apparently I never shared this series here on Tumblr??  

I call it Living Paintings, as they are recreations of extinct animals that some artists actually saw and painted from memory, a long time ago.

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well it's just like my cursed skull would always say

you know it my liege 🤣😂

[id: a comment reading, "'stop drinking wine out of me'." /end id]

[id: a comment

reading, “‘stop drinking wine out

of me’.” /end id]

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

No such thing as a tomato sauce boat. No such thing as a salad dressing boat. But I guess if you’re gravy you get ~SpEcIaL nAuTiCaL pRiViLeGeS~

I mean, marinara, it’s right there in the name. Who is more deserving, I ask you?

…you know you can put any sauce you want in your own gravy boat, OP? You know that, right?

Well yeah. You can put lemonade in it if you want to. Or use it as a spittoon. Or a paperweight. Whatever.

But when you’re not using it? When you have cleaned it and put it back in the cupboard? What is it then? That’s right. It reverts to being a gravy boat. Because that’s what it’s, as they say, “for.”

And when you take it out again and fill it with, idk, salsa verde, what will people say? They’ll say, “Oh, that’s a good use for a gravy boat.” No one ever says “how clever of you to use a salsa boat to serve gravy.” Because the boat defaults to gravy. That is the problem.

If I go to the store and ask for a raita boat, I get funny looks. If I ask for a gravy boat, they know exactly what I’m talking about. Fair? No. Fact? Yes.

Can you see that this is about what is a marked use and what is an unmarked use? Can you see that, friend orbisonblue? That this is not just about what I, personally, can do with my tableware, but what our society considers to be “normal’ sauce-serving practice, and what is “abnormal”? Can you?

Archaeologists determining if mundane objects are also ritual objects 

i hate ppl with canon urls like fuck you what did you do to deserve that

[ID: A reply by @/madoka that reads, “be god”. End ID/]

[ID: A reply

by @/madoka that reads,

“be god”. End ID/]

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

AITA for realizing that my best friend is actually a ghost and not telling him because i'm worried that if he realizes he's dead he'll finally be able to accept it and fully pass on and i won't be able to hang out with him anymore?