I have never met a single cishet who knows the term lipstick lesbian. Dr House do you mind answering a few questions
Stress having physical effects is so stupid your body's just like "you've been having a real shit time and I'm about to make it worse" I hope you die I hope we both die
i love asking my cat 'what's up?' or 'what is it?' or 'what do you want?' and getting that fancy feast stare back at me. girl has no idea what she wants or what is going on she's just experiencing it
me: what's up, miss penny?
miss penny:
fussybabybitch-deactivated20181
Tumblr sent me a special email just to make sure I saw this picture of a dragon jacking off
finally this website is starting to work properly
remember when we were free? when we could run in the fields and feel the wind in our hair? i miss that too.
every time i see a teenager one to three years younger than me i become a fagged out socialite
changed lives
having a husband who is a forensic science student who does nothing but study skeletons all day is ridiculous because we were in the middle of doing...adult....stuff....and he suddenly just grabbed my head and said "oh my god, you know you've got a healed skull fracture here?!" like WHAT do you MEAN I have a HEALED SKULL FRACTURE???
he told me my skull healed really weirdly and I probably have brain damage from it because there's a fuckin crater in the back of my skull that I just thought was a normal thing everyone has. I should probably see a doctor
update on this: he keeps like grabbing random body parts and trying (and failing) to subtly look at me and im like STOP EXAMINING ME because he's so fascinated by my fucked up skeletal structure. the other day we had Christmas drinks with my coworkers and he told me afterwards that someone in the group had a weird shaped skull and something about processes and i was like god can't you just be normal and stop examining people
i want a shirt that has a QR code on it for some kind of horrible malware so that if anyone ever tries to film me in public their phone will automatically scan the code and be reduced to a functionless brick
Modern day Medusa
im tired of discourse. im right. no you may not know my opinions
I was there during the cambrian explosion!!! (◕ᴗ◕✿)(◠‿◕)( ꈍᴗꈍ) i was a little thing .and gay marriage was happening everywhere.
im sorry you’re telling me that we are blobs of dirt that gained consciousness on a planet with rainbows and palm trees and i have to run ERRANDS? and pay TAXES? no i wanna go eat an orange with my tits out in the woods like god intended
need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash
love adding an -ies sound to one-syllable words. niceys and beasties and snackies and lunchies etc etc peace and love
you are so right. I would say lovesies and earthsies personally but yeas <3
kinky mentally ill sex call that bdsm-5
STOP SCROLLING
Your life ends in the wasteland.
there’s a japanese radish just below this post but you can’t reach it