trickTSTer

it’s 1:48 pm as i write this post, which means that the lunch crowd at the pub a mile away with the app enabled jukebox that is, insanely, not at all geofenced, has just been forced by some absolute scamp with 17 jukebox credits remaining in her account to listen to the monster mash

again

yes, it is the same pub where i ate all the clams

7+7=14+1=15 so last number is 5, 1 gets scooted into the 2 to become 3, 3+4 = 7, 75

it’s so hot here that last night i discovered my trader joe’s chocolate wedges, one of which was meant to be my cheeky before bed treat, had fully liquified

in their normal form, they look like this

alas i thought to myself, setting the small round circular tin down on the far side of the bedside table. none of this for me this tonight, i thought, applying my nightly coat of working hands hand cream

in its normal form it looks like this

i woke up at 4 am and went to the bathroom. had to wash my hands obviously. had to moisturize them afterwards, in the dark, too.

needless to say, the first thing I appreciated when it was, at last, bright enough to see this morning was an

absolute

fucking

calamity.

in honor of having covid again, please enjoy this fond memory from the last time i had covid

mod i prechew them for you and then shove them in your craw. like a mother bird, or alternatively, like “what i do to the succulent husks of the tamales i feed you when you’re not watching.”

don’t wanna brag but i have successfully accomplished my goal of The Most Annoying Christmas Decor

if you are asking this because you have seen my hilarious animated penis display curtain lights on tumblr? yes. it is i, the penis display lights person.

if, however, you are asking this because you are my neighbor from across the courtyard and your windows face this one and you therefore had to endure

The Night I Forgot To Turn Off The Curtain Lights and Thereby Unintentionally Exposed Everyone Across From My Apartment to a Full Ten Hours of an Animated Penis LED Display Occasionally Interrupted by a Marquis Scroll of the Words “BUTTS” and “FART” ?

nah that’s not me i don’t even know what a penus is you’re probably thinking of some other guy

cute ways to remind your boyfriend that your birthday is coming up and you would like to spend your special day with him by exploiting your local watering hole’s insane “get your age in free [food item] on your birthday” promotion:

occasional reminder that i own a cricut that i use almost exclusively for evil

we are going to be fashionable for my birthday celebration

I threw up.

cute ways to remind your boyfriend that your birthday is coming up and you would like to spend your special day with him by exploiting your local watering hole’s insane “get your age in free [food item] on your birthday” promotion:

occasional reminder that i own a cricut that i use almost exclusively for evil

we are going to be fashionable for my birthday celebration

the mountain goats make music for people who spent their entire lives convinced they would die before they were 17 except now they're 26 and they have a job and friends and hobbies and they're not sure what they're meant to do now that they've survived

“I don’t think that I accepted that I wasn’t gonna die young until I was 26 or 27. I really don’t think I fully...when I was 14, 15, 16, 17–I mean I knew as sure as I know that I am wearing green shoes that I was going to die before much happened. It was a certainty for me. And I had shaken off the directly suicidal urge by the time I was 21 or 22, but I still was pretty sure I was going to die pretty young, it really felt like an inevitability. It takes a long time to realize no, you’ve changed...if you shared those feelings with people at some point you go, ‘well, I guess we’re going to stick around.’ And it’s a funky thing to admit because there’s a part of your inner younger self that kind of judges you for that.”

—John Darnielle

I listen to this song every year on New Year's Eve. And I have never heard a more perfect encapsulation of it.

yeah this is my birthday song tradition and i’m afraid it hits harder every year

One fun fact about me is that there is a pit in the forest. It is a part of me. I do not know where my reflection ends and I begin and I am so entwined with its murky waters I have begun to wonder if I am human at all, or if I am some creation of mud and wood given life against its will. When I die look for me in the pit. I will be in there, watching you.

Visited the pit again today. The waters gone. There’s a dead bird at the bottom of it. I don’t know what this means.

I keep accidentally ending up at the pit. Like I’ll tell myself I’m not going to go to the pit and then I go to the pit. Or I get lost on the trail and end up at the pit. I’m having fucking dreams about the pit. What is with me and this pit.

ok everyone read this whole post again in seinfeld voice

Scavengers Reign (2023)

everyone should be watching this show. i’m so happy it was made; i hope it is a sign of things to come in adult animation

man i mean this from the bottom of my heart