on it boss

step 1: mitosis

The holy trinity

this screenshot will not leave my fucking head. i've been thinking about it all day. i'll be playing games or making a snack and my brain will whisper "good lord theres penice" to me

Oh this hit all my red flags, I've torn down 3 already just walking Malaya to the park

If you see shit like this Especially outside your local highschools rip it down there's a 80% chance this is a trafficking scam

Thankfully seems I'm not the only one in town who feels this way

This is totally ok to rb by the way

Scam signs:

how can i be ready for future when i’m not even ready to get up in the morning

i don’t care what anyone says i love tik tok

mr sandman

man me a sand

Make it the cutest man car door hook hand

Headfooter 

Hieronymus Bosch, The Garden of Earthly Delights, 1515

No fucking way

16th Century goomba

I love that in the ten years I've been on tumblr, tumblr users' attitude towards tumblr has come full circle, now we're back where we started at "tumblr is our beloved home, no other social media can compare, no other website has what we have, do not trust other websites, do not tell the outsiders about us", only this time we're like. Really exhausted and with a sense of irony about it.

you know what, we should organize a tumblr convention

BIRDIE OMFG YOU CAN'T HIDE THIS IN THE TAGS

I love that he clearly posted this with the false confidence that everyone has forgotten about his horny posting days

Watch: John Cena continues, “So, let’s try this one more time. Close your eyes.” 

x

King

Worth noting that he protested loudly against the WWE doing a show in Saudi Arabia after the assassination of Jamal Khashoggi, and the company retaliated by making sure he hasn’t been on TV or PPV since. Not fired, of course, so they can keep selling merchandise with his face on it (and keep him from joining the competition), just out of the public eye so he and his protests gets forgotten by the fans.

Picture that: an ubiquitous celeb and household name like John Cena basically got black bagged and vanished for speaking up for human rights. That’s the power of capitalism, kids

John Cena also currently holds the record for most wishes granted for Make-A-Wish, which is also so incredibly awesome

pain box

“Put your hand inside the box.”

“What’s in it?”

“Pain.”

“......”

“...it’s bread?!”

“Oui.”

this is how the Bene Gesserit test if you have Celiac, yes

You earned it

@todaysbird

"Good girl?"