“Progress Shark” outside the Australian Museum, ahead of Sydney Mardi Gras/World Pride Festival 2023.
More flags should be inflatable sharks
The most important cold-open in Babylon 5. (You don’t need any context to appreciate this scene)
I was looking at sex toys on aliexpress (like you do) and it suggested I get a 45cm (17″) Black Tourmaline Hexagonal Obelisk. I don’t think that’s a good idea
FINALLY, WE CAN TENTACLIZE THE CLOUDS THEMSELVES!
and now I found the “realistic torture/execution devices for dolls” section.
aliexpress is seriously the best place to look at sex toys because they can’t show nudity so they have to finding other ways to show off the use of the toys.
This results in a LOT of abused food, which is always hilarious.
that’s not what I was searching for and frankly at this point I can’t really remember what I was searching for
oh baby, slide into my chrysanthemum for some novel gameplay!
one of my favorite things is when they decide to give you the whole hard sell.
instead of just being like “hey this is a good sex toy”, they instead try to explain why you’d even need a sex toy, from first principles. and that principle is usually “your boyfriend/husband sucks”. or doesn’t, I guess.
they always end up looking like a r/wheredidthesodago commercial for lesbianism
so the sound of this sex toy is between a flower and a clock!
wait, a flower? do… do flowers make sounds?
I’ve posted about the Hammer Sex Toy before, but it turns out it’s not alone. There’s also…
THE WRENCH!
now that is a fucking slogan
one of my favorite things is that when they’re showing off that sex toys have a bluetooth+internet thing so people can control them remotely, they always show a world map and two points labeled with city names and they’re ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE NEAR THE ACTUAL CITIES.
sex toy or vulcan starship?
OH MEHR SPIELMÖGLICHKEITEN!
this will give you the biggest orgasm of your life, but your mother will die. Oh well, there’s other parents.
In the quiet night all you can hear is your rapid breathing
found another tool! it’s scissors this time.
I’m not sure anyone of any gender really wants scissors near their genitals, so this may not be the best design
sometimes all I can say is “what”
is this vaporwave?
I don’t think that’s how that works
your strawberries will never be safe
finally, the first robot that can eat a flan!
another fun trope in aliexpress sex toys: just listing off all the rooms of your house you could use it in!
(Unlike all those terrible dildos that don’t work in the living room or kitchen)
finally the first sex toy designed specifically for wizards!
the worst thing is that the aliexpress algorithm doesn’t understand the difference between looking at things made of silicone and wanting to buy raw silicone
and then it suggests things you could make with all that silicone, like A BUNCH OF HANDS?
see I clicked that one because it was weird, and now it’s suggesting a bunch of other weird stuff. this is the joy and the problem with aliexpress: I click on something because it’s weird, and it just makes it show me more weird stuff.
have you ever wanted silicone elbow-length gloves to make your hands look like feet? sure, we all do!
Have you ever wanted to learn acupuncture with a LIFE SIZE SILICONE DUMMY? WHY NOT?
another unrealistic body image for women
ooh you can buy individual fingers!
finally, a pile of fingers!
this last one isn’t actually aliexpress, but I had to google a pile of fingers. had to.
ok that’s enough aliexpress for one day.
also this is WAY spammier on tumblr, because of how it gets longer and longer if you follow me. Sorry about that.
Oh for sure if I had the funds I’m ordering all of these things and gluing them together for the most comprehensive full sized body horror vibrator sex doll experience. I’m pouring a barrel of lube into the bathtub, switching every single one of those toys on, and letting them slip and slide all over me like the sexed typewriters from Naked Lunch.
Me @ tax evasion queens fan Bingbing and shakira
For the record I assume all celebrities/rich people are committing some form of tax evasion, some legal some not. Some celebrities just actually have redeeming qualities in the form of being entertaining while others don’t.
Meme news: The Brazilian actress Renata Sorrah came out as bisexual at the age of 76
That's her, btw
She's an icon and also very talented. We Stan.
her figuring out she's bisexual
Word to the wise y’all. Don’t wear a butt plug to your MRI
Don't wear a chastity device to one either. Even if it's a silicone/resin cage, the locking mechanism is still metal, it WILL try to yank that thang asunder. The GOODEST boys are the ones who DON'T risk damaging their body and a $1.2million machine.
There’s no way on earth anyone has to be told this I’m hallucinating this post there’s just no way
@aliceavizandum, a horrible wtyp for you.
i will never complain about a book seeming like a fanfic with the serial numbers filed off because that means the author had the invaluable ability to tell when their au had diverged enough that these were just straight-up different characters now
So I'm putting this here as a sort of public service. If you have never seen a rabid animal before, and you think you can handle watching it, I think it's a good idea to watch this. It's pretty upsetting to watch, so big CW on it, because this animal is essentially "dead but still moving." This is end-stage rabies. There is no saving this animal.
Before this stage, animals may be excessively affectionate or oddly tame-looking which is part of the reason why seeing people feeding foxes is upsetting to me. These animals might be, or might become, rabid, and there's no way to know without testing, which involves destroying the animal. Encouraging wild animals to be that close to humans is generally bad.
I grew up in the woods, so unfortunately we saw an uptick in rabid animals every spring -- you'd hear there was a rabid bat in this neighborhood or a rabid fox in this one -- but as wild animals and humans cross over more and more, we will see this more and more.
Opossums and squirrels extremely rarely get rabies, and we don't know why. They think the low body temperature of opossums inhibits the virus. The most common animals which get rabies in the US are raccoons, skunks, bats and foxes. Any animal 'acting unusually' -- not skittish around humans, biting at the air or at nothing ('fly-biting'), walking strangely (they kind of look like they have a string attached to their heads and walk kind of diagonal like they're being pulled along, a lot of the time) -- should be treated as though it's potentially rabid.
If you think you have been exposed to a rabid animal, including 'waking up in a room where a bat has gotten into it and there's a fucking bat in your room', please immediately go to the emergency room. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Post-exposure prophylaxis absolutely fucking sucks, it is a series of shots you'll have to get in two stages, it's done by weight, and it feels fucking nasty, but rabies is 100% fatal. I cannot stress enough how essential this is, having been through it.
Thank you for reading, I love everybody, the end.
To be clear, I have been through post-exposure prophylaxis for rabies. In 2005 or early 2006, I forget which exactly, @urbanprole and I woke up with a bat in our bedroom bc our apartment maintenance hadn't closed up the HVAC system after replacing filters. I shooed the bat out with a broom and it was acting normally for a bat but we didn't take any chances. (Thankfully, MK was at her dad's that weekend.)
I felt absolutely wretched the next day - the worst I've ever felt, excluding surgery and childbirth - after each series of shots. I had to get 2 sets on different days. I got 8 shots the first day, and Emet got like 13 or 15 bc she's very tall, and it's done by mass. The only thing I can think to compare it to is the depths of COVID, but without the coughing. Your immune system is Working Hard to update itself so it can recognize and fight any possible exposure.
I basically laid in bed and ached and sweated and groaned, but after it was over, I was fine.
Fewer than 20 people have ever survived rabies, and none are known to have survived without immediate post-exposure prophylaxis. Do not fuck around with this. Do not approach strange stray or wild mammals, especially without protective clothing.
Several comments on this post talking about 'why can't the US eradicate rabies entirely' and my friends, it can be really hard to understand how fucking big the United States is, and how weird it is to have basically 50 small countries in a trenchcoat. Like, we're fighting each other right now in courts over medicine, for one thing, and for another...
Like, one of the people commenting on this post and wondering this is from Portugal. Portugal is 35,603 square miles, and the United States is 3.97 million square miles. Portugal is 0.0093% the size of the United States, which... yeah. Like. The single state that I grew up in (Pennsylvania) is 46K square miles.
So, like, for one thing, this country is trying not to explode while a small group of people try to make it explode. And for another?
The US? Is. Fucking. Huge.
Australia doesn't have Rabies, because as far as I'm aware it just never got here and we work hard to keep it that way.
But we do have Bat Derived Lyssavirus, which is basically a rabies doppelganger... Don't fuck around with bats. Go to a Dr if you come into contact with a bat because you don't always notice a scratch/bite in the moment.
No need to be afraid of bats, just appreciate them from a distance... They're wild animals. If you find a bat in distress call a ranger.
Living Colour - Cult Of Personality
Excuse you.
I was having a normal day.
I didn’t need to be transported backwards in time so violently.
thinking about bruce springsteen snoopy binder
world of happiness
with the new john mulaney special out i just want everyone to know that it's not because of his divorce that i refuse to watch it. honestly, i think how the internet handled that was weird. it was a personal romantic relationship that we didn't have all the information on, and as someone who had an addiction problem i'm not going to judge him for making (what looks like to us) a bad decision right after he got out of rehab, and if you would i think you need to look inside yourself as to why you think that's okay. i'm not saying i loved watching that, but i think we need to have grace for people in difficult situations and i normally would want to hear his side, perhaps even through a comedy special!
why i refuse to watch the new special or engage with his content is he openly and happily platformed a transphobe right after he started getting heat for being openly transphobic. i'm not letting that go.
Y’all need to look harder. I’ve got a purple queen-sized one, I got a baby blue one for my mom for Christmas, and I’ve got one that’s brown fake fur on top.
Also, buy a duvet cover. Weighted blankets are a bitch to clean, make it easier on yourself and duvet covers are intended to be decorative they come in many, many fun colors and patterns.
Today is FOP Awareness Day
It is a super rare medical condition I have.
Here is an 86 second video narrated by Stephen Fry to tell you all about it!
fun aspect of watching Succession with my brother is that he’s a Watch Guy™, like he’s part of the National Watch Club level kinda watch guy. when he was first watching the early seasons he’d ask me to pause on shots where you could more clearly see the watches. then he’d excitedly explain to me what kind they were/how much they were worth/what kind of people typically wore them. in the first episode especially, he couldn’t stop laughing because Tom gave Logan the Patek and when I asked him why that’s funny my brother explained, “it’s kinda like the bottom of luxury. like it’s luxury but the cheapest richest luxury. people who wear those wanna think they’re rich” and I was like ooooh cos obviously that fits Tom to a T. BUT MY BROTHER ALSO pointed out that Roman recently switched from wearing Rolexes to IWC which is a watch company infamous for being favoured by the Nazis in ww2 💀 But anyways if you don’t have a watch obsessed brother, this is a fun read:
