If you were born deaf, what language would you think in ?

Woah....

Zigged when we thought he was gonna zag.

Adorable baby fakes crying when daddy tries to cut her fingernails. (x)

This is so cute like when do babies start learning these things like she’s scaring the shit out of her dad but she thinks it’s a game

this is the cutest fucking shit ive ever seen

A sweet thing to hold on to. 😆😌

How Calicos Give Birth. Based on a dream my girlfriend had.

more of my comics on tumblr / twitter / facebook

smile

Still one of my favorite photosets in the world. I always hope these two were as happy in life as they look in these photos.

this is accidentally a better piece of art than anything banksy ever shit out

“ Mom sat next to this guy at the deli and overheard him talking about some “$100 million dollar deal” and took this awkward photo. She texted me it and said any idea who this is?”

apparently Stan Lee makes cameos in people’s lunch outings now.

Seeing everyone suffer with the new update when it hasn’t effected you yet

9 Things Only Ellen Could Get Away With

1. Delivering pizza at an awards show like it’s totally normal.

2. Getting a million celebrities together to take a selfie and break the Internet.

3. Getting The President to dance on national television.

4. She can get T-Swift to wear sweaters with her and watch cat videos.

5. She can dispense advice like no one else.

6. She is never afraid, even when Jennifer Aniston tries her hardest to scare her.

7. She can convince Britney to shimmy in front of random strangers’ houses.

8. She’s always going to be herself regardless of what people say. 

9. Her haters are her motivators.

If ellen is not your idol theres something wrong with you

i love ellen but i’m pretty sure anyone could get taylorswift to wear sweaters and watch cat videos

What the… but… how… wha…. how did this person…. I…

i just wrote -2-2x= like 75 times on a paper oh god

i filled up both sides

what just happened

this makes me uncomfortable, 

then do =x+2+ for the next part

for “or blow me a kiss, and that’s lucky too” it’s =+1=+1

What is this sorcery?!?!

this is my favorite post on tumblr

the ending is: 12=x1=

So I just worked out the whole song, and here you go:

- 2 - 2 x = = x + 2 + - 2 - 2 x = = x + 2 + = + 1 = + 1

- 7 2 + 7 = x + 2 + = 2 + 2 1 = x + 2 +

- 2 - 2 x = = x + 2 + - 2 - 2 x = = x + 2 + - 2 - 2 x = = x + 2 + - 2 - 2 x = = x + 2 +

- 7 2 + 7 = x + 2 +

- 7 2 + 7 = x + 2 + = 7 7 2 + = x + 2 + = x - 7 - 2

- 2 - 2 x = = x + 2 + = x + 2 1 = x + 2 + 1 2 = x 1 =

My mind just broke

*writes furiously*

Mom: Are you writing an essay?

Me: Hm? Wha-oh yeah. An essay. Definitely. 

Reposting because this has gotten so much better than the first time I posted

when someone asks if you like 1d

Miley’s face when Nicki called her out

SHE SAW DEATH SHE FELT IT

HOLY SHIT, IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ONE

MAKE A WISH

the first post ever on tumblr

I WAS EXPECTING IT TO BE A REMAKE OF SOME SORT HOLY FUCK

WHO THE FUCK KEEPS BRINGING THIS BACK

reblog this because it shows up every blue moon

I FOUND IT ✊

I WAS SO SCARED IT WOULDNT BE THE ORIGINAL

• Use the hand you write with.

• Make a fist with your thumb outside, not tucked inside. If it’s tucked inside your fist, when you punch someone, you might break your thumb. The thumb goes across your fingers, not on the side.

• Don’t be like in the movies—don’t aim for the face. Face punches don’t usually stop people, and you can miss when they duck their head or break your hand on their jaw. If you want to get away quickly, or end a fight, aim for the chest, or the ribs. If you really want to do some damage, e.g., you’re being attacked, aim for the throat, which will make it hard for your attacker to breathe for a hot minute.

• When you punch, you want to aim and hit with your first two knuckles. Not the flats of your fingers, and not your ring or pinky knuckles, which can break more easily. You can use your weight, if you’re on your feet, to add wallop, and spring into a punch with your feet and torso.

Useful information, esp. if you haven’t taken self defense.

I reblogged this once before to add this and I’ll do it again…

keep your wrist straight.

You can also risk breaking your wrist if you allow it to bend.  I actually can’t believe this isn’t in there.

Other good pointers:

see that meaty portion highlighted in red? There’s a lot of muscle and fat right there which makes it excellent for striking. Hold your hand as shown and aim for the nose or chin (though I’ve been told in extreme circumstances, doing this to the nose can be fatal but I’ve never really heard if this is true or not) and just aim upwards

Originally in (most) martial arts, you hit the solar plexus because it supposedly contained an important chakra. Now we know that it actually also contains like a bunch of necessary organs that are exposed just below your ribs and is also (roughly) where your diaphragm lives so getting punched there is not pleasant.

-Also, remember that a guy’s junk is not an off-button. Don’t think that you can rely on a swift kick to the balls to immediately incapacitate him in an emergency. Adrenaline and anger can keep somebody going for a long time even through extreme pain, and if you expect to end a fight with a single groin-attack you might be caught off-guard when he doesn’t drop. Certainly go for it if you get the chance, but keep hitting him until the fight is over.

-Draw blood if you can, especially if you can draw it from the face or the eyes. Blood in the eyes is not just a good way to impair your attacker’s vision, it’s also a really good way to freak them out and let them know that they might be getting more than they bargained for by picking a fight with you.

-Elbows and knees are really powerful weapons. Elbows are very sharp and very strong and if you are in close-range they are often more effective than trying to throw a punch. 

-Yelling and shouting makes you scary. 

Nothing much to add to this, it’s pretty much all there. So. Reblog. Oh, also, it’s really easy to break a nose - go for the eyes too. All it takes to avoid a shot to the throat is tucking your chin. Also, that part about the ear - don’t punch. An open hand over the ear hurts a lot.

Tumblr teaching me how to fuck a bitch up

Also if you fuck up their face it’ll be easier for police to identify the attacker.

If someone gets you from behind and you cant punch them, go for the underside of the upper-arm. A bad pinch there is legit so painful because that skin is super sensitive. Also this cant be stressed enough, if the attacker is a guy then fucking rip his junk off.

When throwing a punch: