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d'metryus is a fuckhead.

@trashfiendmetryusd

yo im d'metryus. he/him/his. two possums in a trench coat disguised as a cute tqpoc.
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ugly-cat-sweater
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thestuffedalligator

Consider the god of salmon.

There is a god of salmon, somewhere in the gravel and the pebbles of the spawning redd. All salmon are aware of it as soon as they are born, in their own, private, fishy ways, and remember their god of salmon when they leave the spawning grounds and journey into the saltwaters beyond.

Theirs is the god of journeys and returnings.

Eventually, every salmon is struck by the urge to return to the holy lands of its ancestors. They pray to the god of salmon, asking for protection against bears and other predators on the journey.

“Deliver us from eagles,” the salmon pray.

All animals get their own gods, and those animal gods get their own prayers. The gods of mice and rabbits and other small, squeaking, hunted things usually get prayers along the lines of, “Oh please, oh please, oh please…”

Unlike those fickle gods, parishioners of the god of salmon get results.

Salmon get miracles.

A salmon returns to freshwater and discovers that it can breathe.

A salmon swimming against the current watches its spine curl, its teeth lengthen, sees grey scales turn red.

A salmon comes to a waterfall and discovers that it can fly…

Eventually the salmon complete their pilgrimage, and return to the holy lands of their ancestors.

Many raucous orgies are held.

Hallelujah.

And then, exhausted, the salmon die. The land flourishes as residual nutrients run through creeks and estuaries.

And the god of salmon continues, buoyed on the souls and prayers of millions of martyrs.

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kvothbloodless

Big Terry Pratchett Energy

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trashfiendmetryusd

i’m going to read this aloud and no one can stop me

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mioxenoblade

in this halloween edition of reblog with your opinion in the tags, rb with your opinion on: carving pumpkins, candy corn, trick-or-treating, slasher films, and haunted houses

#carving is fun as dicks but too much cleanup for my disabled ass#candy corn is the best holiday specific candy no i will not take questions#TRICK OR TREATING SHOULD BE ACCEPTABLE AS AN ADULT STOP BEING STINGY AND HAVE SOME FUN AGAIN#slasher films are great when you like horror and gore but its a rare thing for me to want to watch them#(especially bc of jump scares)#i love a good haunted house#but i get scared pretty easy so im not great at them lol#tag meme#halloween
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braggosaurus
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gvnchvcks

I made an AH ask game! Send me a number and I'll answer truthfully! 💚🖤💚🖤💚

  1. How did you get into AH?
  2. What year did you get into AH?
  3. Who was your favorite when you started?
  4. Who's your favorite now?
  5. Favorite team?
  6. Favorite ship?
  7. Who do you wish was in more content?
  8. Favorite AU?
  9. Favorite dynamic?
  10. Favorite series?
  11. Which do you prefer, live action content or gameplay?
  12. Own any AH merch?
  13. Favorite quote?
  14. Have you been to RTX or AH Live?
  15. Have you ever met any of the Hunters?
  16. How many times have you attended RTX or AH Live?
  17. Favorite experience meeting any of the crew?
  18. Who would you like to meet that you haven't met before?
  19. Picture of you and the member(s) you've met?
  20. Done any AH cosplays?
  21. Have you drawn any AH fan art?
  22. What series got you into their content?
  23. A series you haven't seen yet but plan to watch in the future?
  24. Have you ever sent in art or anything to AHWU?
  25. Has a video or specific moment ever made you emotional?
  26. Do you watch Off Topic?
  27. Do you plan to attend RTX or AH Live this year?
  28. Opinion on Geoff?
  29. Opinion on Jack?
  30. Opinion on Ryan?
  31. Opinion on Gavin?
  32. Opinion on Michael?
  33. Opinion on Jeremy?
  34. Opinion on Lindsay?
  35. Opinion on Matt?
  36. Opinion on Trevor?
  37. Opinion on Alfredo?
  38. Opinion on Fiona?
  39. How well do you know the support room crew?
  40. Favorite in the support room?
  41. Have you seen the musical?
  42. Favorite song from the musical?
  43. Favorite Between the Games/Shenanigans episode?
  44. Favorite Minecraft mini-series?
  45. Favorite GTA mini-series?
  46. Any unpopular opinions?
  47. Any series you've left unfinished?
  48. Are you proud to be an AH fan?
  49. Has AH ever helped you through a hard time in your life?
  50. Has AH ever inspired you?

Feel free to reblog and have your followers ask you as well!

#please do this omg#achievement hunter#geoff ramsey#jack pattillo#ryan haywood#gavin free#michael jones#jeremy dooley#lindsay jones#fiona nova#matt bragg#alfredo diaz#trevor collins
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hey hi random thing nbd

i’m like

about to have a psychotic break

my house recently got invaded by bedbugs and bugs make my partner have severe psychosis symptoms and we were talking about it and lately i have been feeling like the same thing is happening to me

i kept telling myself that it wasn’t really psychosis and that i was being weird but here i am awake at three am because i keep seeing bedbugs crawl on me (there are none on me) and i can’t close my eyes because then i feel them

i’m having a panic attack bc i don’t know what to do hahahaha

#psychosis#bipolar disorder#hallucinations
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doobler

Adam's Depression Potato Recipe

Hey. Are you depressed? Do you like baked potatoes? Then this recipe is for you.

Prep time: 5 min

Cook time: 1 hour 15 min

You'll need:

  • 4 tbs butter
  • A pinch of parsley
  • 1 tbs minced garlic
  • 1 tbs grated or powdery parmesan
  • Two handfuls of cheddar (or your favorite cheese)
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • 1 russet potato
  • Olive oil

  1. Preheat your oven to 380°F (195°C)
  2. Wash off then pat totally dry your potato
  3. Take a fork and stab it 10-12 times all over
  4. Slather that bitch in olive oil and coat it in salt
  5. Set your potato on a square of foil in the oven and bake for 1 hour
  6. To make the garlic butter, either let your butter come to room temp over time or pop it in the microwave for short 10 sec intervals at low power
  7. Mix in the grated parmesan, garlic, and parsley. Add salt if you a salty biatch. If not, salt isn't necessary
  8. Remove your potato and cut it in half (careful it's hot). Break apart the interior a little and tuck your garlic butter into the mushed up potato
  9. Bake for 10 more minutes
  10. Remove again and cover your potato with cheddar or your alternative cheese
  11. Pop it in the oven but this time, set it to broil on HIGH
  12. Broil for 5 min
  13. Remove and enjoy! Other baked potato toppings are optional 👌