I think I'm gonna lose my mind

maybe. maybe love is stored in the online friend

happy birthday @archervale I know I'm late but here is one of our many ideas! Hope you enjoy it <3

wc: 1.3k summary: Dean gives Cas a little kiss and it breaks the angel

Dean didn’t get much sleep last night considering the bed felt too big and empty without his boyf—Cas. They’re still relatively new—like 35 days since their big reunion confession—and Cas was a busy guy. Once again helping Heaven get their shit in order along with Jack. So he didn’t have time to stay the night and be a fucking pillow, not that Dean would ask him.

He already takes too much of his time with stupid shit like movie night or a long drive. The world didn’t need Dean Winchester to save it anymore but it sure as fuck still needed Castiel.

Dean sighed, dragging his feet to the kitchen, and wondering when would it be a good time to send Cas a little message like, “Hiya. When are you gonna come down from that cloud of yours so I can give you a stupid ki–no.” Dean cleared his throat and ran his fingers through his growing hair feeling embarrassed as he stepped foot into the kitchen doorway.

“I came down early this morning.” Dean looked up at the kitchen table when he heard the familiar voice. Cas was warming his hands with a large mug of coffee, one that read ‘Not today Satan’ that Dean had bought as a joke while smiling softly at Dean. His coat was off, folded up on the seat next to him, and his sleeves were pushed back. He looked so…so nice.

what is love

~ angel

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will you marry me?

It had started out as something innocuous; a slip of the tongue that had Dean’s heart leaping in his chest. They’d just watched a rom-com movie together, Cas’ legs brushing against Dean’s thighs and Dean’s head resting on Cas’ shoulder.

This was still new for them. The whole ‘being together’ thing. Dean had only tentatively asked Cas for a movie night together a few weeks ago. Cas had said yes, easy and smooth as always. But it was more than that, and Dean wasn’t quite sure how to put it into words; how to express that he didn’t just want to watch a movie with Cas sitting on the other end of the couch. He wanted Cas pressed against his side, sharing popcorn and salty kisses as the movie played without either of them really paying attention because they were a little too distracted with each other.

‘Just do it, Winchester. Do it!’

“No. That’s not what I mean,” Dean had said, flickering his eyes down to Cas’ lips for far too long for it to mean anything else. “Movie night. You know? Like a-”

“Date?” Cas asked, sucking in a breath of surprise as his own gaze darted down to Dean’s lips.

“Yeah,” Dean breathed out, hope twisting with buckling fear in his chest.

Cas’ eyes squeezed shut for a second, and Dean felt the panic constrict around his lungs. Wrong move. Wrong move. Abort. Right now. Taking a step back, Dean prepared himself to bolt. But Cas was quicker. Softer. Loosening the tightness of Dean’s lungs with something liquid hot and smooth.

“Yes, please.”

Dean just about melted into the floor at the softness of Cas’ tone. “Yeah?” he asked, voice thick with unspoken desires.

“Yeah,” Cas whispered back.

Movie date night was now every other night as they explored this new territory. And it was good. Really good. The simplest allowances made Dean breathless and dizzy. Brushing his hand against Cas’. Cas tucking himself against Dean’ side. Little stolen kisses between scenes.

Each time more adventurous. More kisses, more touches, a comfortable bond that was now widening to adjust from what they were before to what they becoming now; together.

But tonight, it was a cliché rom-com movie; sappy and romantic. And maybe Cas’ fingers had been dancing along the inside of Dean’s wrist for the whole latter half of the movie, making Dean feel lightheaded with affection. He’d just meant to ask Cas a simple question. Just wanted to ask Cas for the remote that was on the other side of the couch, because Cas’ fingers were still being rather distracting against Dean’s skin.

But Dean only managed to get out the first couple words before Cas completely changed everything.

“Will you-”

“Marry you? Yes, of course,” Cas replied.

Dean stuttered to a stop, heart catapulting against his ribs. Oh God. Cas wanted to marry him? Oh. Oh.

“That… wasn’t what I was going to ask,” Dean said, breath seizing in his lungs.

But Cas was smiling at him, teasing and carefree, and Dean’s slow brain kicked back into gear as Cas’ eyes darted to the credits rolling across the screen.

Oh.

The movie. Cas was quoting the movie.

Letting out a startled chuckle, Dean nudged his shoulder against Cas’. “Ha ha, very funny,” Dean said, even though his heart was still racing; beating so loudly Dean swore Cas would be able to feel the rapid pulse in his wrist.

But now the thought was in his head. Words straight off of Cas’ lips. A bubble of an idea that was sparking in his veins. Would he marry Cas? Would he get down on one knee on the beach at sunset and propose to Cas as the waves crashed on the shore and the sky was painted in romantic pink and orange hues?

Yeah. God yeah.

He’d spend forever with Cas. Cas was it for him. There wasn’t anyone else. It was Cas. It was always Cas. He’d known that for a while now. Long before they’d started this new thing between them.

Cas was still smiling at him, bright and earnest, and Dean wanted to kiss that smile. So he did. “Idiot,” Dean mumbled affectionately, feeling Cas’ grin melt into his own.

But Dean had no idea. No idea that this was going to be the start of something that made him blissfully happy and yet yearning more than ever.

~

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Valentine’s Day Drabbles Masterpost

Hi yall!

As promised, here is the masterpost and ao3 collection for the Valentine’s/wedding anniversary drabbles I wrote from Feb 1-14! Thank you to everyone who made this lil adventure so fun! I’ve never done anything like this and it was such a special lil series to write for and to share with you all. I hope yall enjoyed this series, and if you haven’t had a chance to read them yet, i hope you’ll like them <3

The 15 chapter collection is now available on ao3!

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

Day 7

Day 8

Day 9

Day 10

Day 11

Day 12

Day 13

Day 14

Bonus: Love Letters on Valentine’s Day

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hiiii my lovelies! welcome to the new era! <3

cannot believe i managed to snag this url! i hope yall love it as much as i do! for now, it’s time to retire the starry theme, and to start a new chapter with this angelic era. goodbye starry night, hello angels!

✨ fallingstarsdeancas (prev starrynightdeancas) >>> angelscas 🌈

now tracking #angelscas (make sure to use angelscas with an ‘s’)

Tagging my Tag List to signal boost!

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What’s wild is that jensen said kripke is doing to him on the boys all the things he wasn’t allowed to on spn girl what he set everyone on fire and released live bees on you first season wtf is he doing NOW

You can make one here

same energy

and another

The holy trinity

This is so fucking wholesome wtf

1/23/2022

shower crayons in the bunker showers

i miss the times when people thought cas was "god's favorite" but really god hated him so Much and only kept him around because dean refused to function without him

STOP CENSORING SUBTITLES/TRANSCRIPTS/CLOSED CAPTIONS

LET DEAF AND NEURODIVERGENT PEOPLE READ “FUCK”

I know this sounds jokey and funney but I am serious and it is ableist and infantilising and inaccessible so stop

43 (I love you through sparks and shining dragons)

[read on AO3]

Dean awakes to something cold pressing against his (naked) shoulder blades. He groans, but presses back into Cas’ solid weight and huffs with comfort when his angel wraps his arms around his waist, and he can feel his mop of hair tickling against the nape of his neck.

“Cas,” he groans, voice still thick-sleep.

“Mhm?” Cas answers, no doubt still halfway back into sleep already.

“I thought we said no more middle of the night wandering,” Dean says, a smile making its way to his lips when he feels Cas’ hands tightening their hold on his chest. 

A few years ago, maybe Dean would’ve been ashamed to admit it, but it’s not like he cares about what anyone thinks anymore. It’s good to be held. Particularly by Cas. 

“Special occasion,” Cas grumbles, kissing the line of Dean’s shoulder softly, his stubble scraping the skin of Dean’s back and causing goosebumps all over Dean’s skin.

“What special occasion?” Dean asks, slightly confused as he raises a hand and runs his fingers lightly through Cas’ hair, keeping him pressed against him, wanting more kisses, more caress, more everything.

And Cas does, of course he does. 

He nuzzles against Dean’s neck, kissing the soft skin there. Dean sighs, content, cared for.

“Go back to sleep, Dean,” Cas says instead of answering, as he drops another kiss behind Dean’s ear.

And Dean listens. 

It might be only minutes or several hours when he wakes up again, but Cas’ weight is gone from behind him. It’s not unusual, but still it keeps Dean awake and alert as he sits in bed, looking around for signs of his husband.

The sweatpants are gone, but the Zeppelin t-shirt he had on last night before bed is still on the floor where Dean sent it flying at some point. Dean’s about to get up and send a search rescue when he hears the third step of the stairs from their lake house crack distinctly and he smiles, looking at the door expectantly.

Barely a minute later and Cas strolls in, a tray with coffee, pancakes and bacon on it. He doesn’t even know what the occasion is, but his stomach grumbles happily at the sight as Cas stumbles inside, kicks the door closed with his feet before turning back to him with a smile. For a second Dean can’t take his eyes off him- the way the light of the early morning frames him, the mess of his hair, the solid line of his shoulder, the tattoo on his ribs, the way the blue of his eyes twinkle as they look at each other.

He has a smile on his lips when he drops the tray carefully on Dean’s bedside table, and he laughs against Dean’s lips when Dean draws him back into bed, hands holding his hips and quickly slipping under the sweatpants, cupping his (glorious) ass.

“Not that my stomach is unhappy, but what’s the occasion, sweetheart?” Dean asks as Cas grumbles happily into his mouth when Dean’s hands slip under his boxers, one hand on his ass and the other getting a hold of the hard line of his cock. “Did you get up with this? Rude, you could’ve told me.”

Cas kisses him, sucking his bottom lip greedily as Dean takes care of him, hand assured on him.

It doesn’t even take 5 minutes for Cas to be panting on top of him, Dean’s clever hand bringing him to climax quickly and efficiently. His lips peppers Dean with kisses as he gets him through his orgasm, his breath only evening when Dean lets him lie back into bed.

“Good morning,” Dean smiles, from above him then, satisfied. 

Cas surges up and takes Dean’s face into both of his hands before kissing him like there’s not tomorrow.

(Technically, there isn’t anymore, but it’s not like Dean cares.)

“Happy birthday,” Cas smiles against his mouth when he draws back just a whisker to look at him, and Dean’s breath kind of stutters, confused.

“It’s my birthday?” he asks as Cas kisses a path from his cheek to the junction of his neck, nipping at the tendon there and drawing a whimper from Dean.

“Why do you think I got up this early? I had to get eggs from Mrs Dormer to make your pancakes,” Cas grumbles, wandering hands slipping past the waistband of Dean’s black boxers.

But Dean’s too stunned to react yet. He doesn’t know why it hit him that hard this morning, how he even managed to forget that today was January 24th.

Maybe it’s the comfortable life they finally settled in, after so many years of fighting. Maybe it’s the fact that Cas is here beside him now, that he knows he doesn’t have to wake up to an empty bed and a Colt under the pillow. Maybe it’s the prospect of knowing Sam is safe, a few miles away with Eileen and their little girl.

Maybe it’s the matching silver wedding bands, sitting proudly and shiny on his and Cas’ fingers, providing enough reassurance that life is, in fact, okay. 

Or maybe, just maybe- age doesn’t matter anymore when you know you won’t be biting the dust because of the apocalypse, or God, or a Knight of Hell anymore.

So Dean allows himself to sink into the comfort of Cas’ hands again. The pancakes and coffee and bacon go slightly cold as Cas takes care of him- always with reverence, and hunger, and so much want.

Later, when they sit on the porch with the remnant of Cas’ breakfast, a thick blanket solidly wrapped around both of them, Dean watches as the sun goes up above the lake in front of the house. Cas worms his face into his neck, solidly wrapped around him, going for another nap.

Dean lets him. They have enough for a lifetime.

“Happy birthday,” he whispers into the crook of Dean’s neck, the warmth of his breath against the skin tickling Dean, making him squeeze Cas closer against him. “I love you.”

Dean’s breath hitches. It’s not that he’s not used to it by now- hell, they’ve been married for months, they’ve said way more sappy shit to each other by now than these simple three little words.

But there’s a different weight on these words on January 24th. There’s a different tone to Cas’ voice as he says it, as he brushes his lips in a barely there kiss under Dean’s jaw before happily going back to sleep right there, secured in Dean’s arms and under the blanket Sam and Eileen got them for Christmas.

There’s love, but there’s security, and life ahead.

Dean used to wake up on January 24th wondering if he’d be alive to see his next birthday.

This morning, as he watches the line of the sun following it’s route as it rises, Dean thinks that 43 looks pretty good, just like the road ahead.

“I love you too, Cas,” he whispers into Cas’ ear, brushing a kiss on Cas’ temple as he goes. “Thank you for breakfast, babe.”

“You deserve the world,” Cas answers, voice all gravel and honey, no doubt already half back into a sleepy haze.

Dean chuckles, keeping his lips pressed against Cas’ forehead.

“Yeah,” he says, his voice low, more for himself than anyone else.

A long time ago, in a barn in Illinois, an angel told him that good things did happen. He didn’t believe him then, too busy fighting the good fight between Good and Evil.

It took him time to believe him, years. 

Much later, when the Sun will almost be down behind the line of the mountains, everyone will be around. Sam and Eileen will be there first, little Charlie on their hip. Jack should be here around the same time, probably with Jody and Donna, tightly clasped between Claire and Kaia. Dean’s probably forgetting a dozen, but the house will be filled with laughter and clinking beers, and love.

So much love.

But as said Angel stumbles back into sleep, as Dean watches the Sun shine above the lake and reflect into the water, as Cas’ hand rests above his heart, wedding ring cold where it presses against Dean’ naked skin… Dean thinks back to the barn in Illinois, to Cas’ stance as he said “good things happen, Dean”. 

And this morning, well.

This morning, Dean believes.

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oh my god it’s his birthday. reblog to give him a little birthday kiss <3

They just wanted to test the limit of Julieta's healing powers... and Alma's nerves

a home of our own

There was something about the way Cas’ thumb was sliding along the hem of Dean’s jeans as the angel drove; something that sparked affection and desire and a hint of longing for something that was already his.

They had been driving for days; zigzagging across the country without a destination. At least, that’s how it felt to Dean in the passenger seat, watching the world morph from woods to mountains to lakes and highways. But Cas kept telling him there was something at the end of the journey, something they were driving towards instead of something they were driving away from. Cas’ hand on his thigh, music quietly seeping from the old stereo in the pickup truck, and the feeling of something more dancing between them that made Dean frequently interlock their fingers until their wedding bands clinked together.

“It’s a birthday surprise,” Cas told him again after Dean asked where they’re going, as the moon peeked out over the horizon in a soft white glow.

“I don’t like surprises,” Dean repeated for the fifth time since they’d left the Bunker four days ago, even though it was a lie. Sure, he wasn’t a fan of surprises normally. But with Cas, it was different. Everything about Cas was different. Physical affection and domesticity. Comfort and surprises. There was love and trust, and something else Dean couldn’t pinpoint even after being married for almost a year.

“You’ll like this surprise,” Cas repeated again, the same as he had all the other times when Dean had asked. But this time, Cas tilted his head slightly, and their gazes locked. A wisp of something was threaded through the blue of Cas’ eyes, and it made Dean’s heart pang with a sudden sharp ache.

“Where are you taking me?” Dean whispered, the words slipping from his lips and into the space between them.

“Home,” Cas replied, his hand finding Dean’s across the leather seat, squeezing their fingers together and bringing Dean’s hand up to his lips so he could kiss his knuckles.

Dean didn’t know what that meant. They’d left the Bunker days ago, and wasn’t that home? And maybe Dean could be sappy and say that Cas was his home, but that didn’t explain what this trip was about either. Instead, Dean closed his eyes, focusing on the sensation of Cas’ hand still interlocked with his, and let his mind drift over the thoughts of home until he fell asleep.

When Dean blinked his eyes open again, the sun was just beginning to climb over the horizon, replacing the moon that Dean remembered seeing the last time he was awake. Soft pinks were bleeding across the sky, staining the road in an orangey hue. A road that looked familiar.

Scrubbing a hand over his eyes, Dean squeezed his eyelids shut tightly and then looked back out at the scenery to a road he’d driven a thousand times before.

“Cas?” Dean breathed out, the word sticking in his throat as he processed just where they were.

Slowly, Cas pulled the truck over to a stop on the overgrown road, finding Dean’s hand again and lacing their fingers together. “Happy birthday, Dean,” Cas murmured, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Dean’s mouth.

Tipping their foreheads together, Dean let out a shaky breath. “I don’t understand. Why here? Why now?”

Nudging their noses together, Cas pulled back and smiled gently. “You’ll see. Oh, I invited a few people to come celebrate the surprise. I hope that’s okay?” Using their joined hands, Cas gently tugged Dean out of the truck and out into the dewy grass.

A second later, two more cars rolled down the dirt road, but Dean wasn’t looking at the cars. He was looking at the ruins. What was left of the house he’d known for most of his life. The walls were barely standing anymore, trees and plants having grown around the remains. Car parts were still littered around, untouched all these years later. The scorch marks had been washed away, and nature had healed the hole that had been torn into the ground in the explosion.

Why would Cas bring him here? What kind of surprise entailed a burnt down house and an overgrown auto salvage yard?

“Have you told him yet?”

Dean turned, catching sight of Jody bundled up in a warm jacket as she approached Cas. Donna and the girls were just a few steps behind; smiles on their faces despite the early hour of the morning. Sam was offering his hand to Eileen as they got out of another car; Jack bouncing ahead of them as he excitedly found Claire and Kaia. Their whole family was here, standing next to the remains of Bobby’s house.

“Not yet. I was waiting for you all to get here,” Cas replied, snagging Dean by the waist and bringing him in close as everyone else joined them. Then, Cas’ attention was fully on Dean, his fingers rubbing patterns against Dean’s hip.

“Tell me what?” Dean asked, glancing briefly at his family before settling on his husband.

Sliding his other hand down the side of Dean’s neck, Cas tipped Dean’s head until their foreheads were once again pressed together. “This is my birthday present to you.”

Dean sucked in a shaky breath, squeezing his eyes shut as he fumbled for Cas’ hand. “What are you talking about, Cas?”

Brushing their lips together in an echo of a kiss, Cas quietly said, “I bought the land a few months ago. It’s ours. If you’d like, I thought we could rebuild. Create a house; create a home here together.” Taking a deep breath, Cas pulled back slightly until he was gazing into Dean’s eyes. “You’ve always told me that Bobby’s felt like home to you; that it was the one constant you had. I want to make this place a home for you again. For us. We’ll be close to Jody and Donna and the girls. And Sam and Eileen can visit as much as they want. We can build a room for Jack to stay with us, too.” Cas paused, stroking his thumb along Dean’s cheek. “What do you think?”

The words felt lodged in Dean’s throat, overwhelmed with emotions he couldn’t begin to process and a happiness that had his chest aching. “You all knew?” Dean asked, swallowing thickly and darting his eyes over to his brother.

Sam nodded, smiling a watery smile as he pulled Eileen closer. “Yeah, Dean. Cas asked all of us for our blessing.”

The laugh that bubbled from Dean’s lips felt choked off with tears. “You asked everyone for their blessing?”

Cas nodded, the movement causing his nose to brush against Dean’s nose. “I know how much this house meant to everyone. How much Bobby meant to everyone.”

Dean let the words sink in for a moment, clutching hold of Cas like a lifeline. “This is gonna be our home?” he whispered, tears stinging his eyes as he shifted to tuck his head into the crook of Cas’ neck. “Our home.”

A warm hand rubbed circles over his back, and Dean melted into Cas’ embrace. “Do you like it?” Cas murmured.

How could Dean find the words? How could he tell his husband this was everything he’d ever wanted and yet nothing he’d ever let himself dream of having? A husband. A family. The house he’d always come back to, ready to be rebuilt into something that was theirs. Their home. Their future together.

Maybe he’d find a way to tell Cas all of that. But right now, all he could do was press their lips together in a chaste kiss. He’d have kissed Cas so deeply that they’d have gasped into each other’s mouths if their family wasn’t standing right there. But kissing Cas senseless wasn’t fair when everyone was watching them. So instead, Dean gave Cas a simple chaste kiss, pressing his absolute bliss against his husband’s mouth. “I love you,” Dean said against Cas’ lips.

“I love you,” Cas murmured, leaning in to steal another quick kiss as if he couldn’t resist the magnetic pull between their mouths, only to break away a second later when Claire yelled something that sounded suspiciously like the word gross. Wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist, Cas said the next words out loud for their whole family to hear. “Welcome home, Dean.”

To be continued….

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