apparently, I joined this tumblr place at 09/18/2015 6:06:16 PM.

so i deleted the original transzoemurphy blog and ive archived a couple posts on this blog. i didnt want to get rid of the whole blog forever yk. i wanted some part of it left even tho i was for sure not comfortable with having the whole thing up

so i asked my dad the process behind backdating emails and it’s actually really interesting? basically you have two servers connected to their own mini-wifi who are pretending to be the servers of two other people. you might also need a few more servers, bc of the way servers talk to each other. emails often go through more than one server so to make it realistic the header has to show several different servers on it. these servers can be named the same as the server which sends out emails from the account that you’re trying to emulate. the catch is that each server can cost up to about $15,000, and one would need at least two of them to create a realistic communication. adding this with the other costs of backdating emails would mean you would spend at a minimum about $40,000. it is also an extremely complicated process that can take months if not years. yet, jared offers to do all this for evan in a few nights for only $2,000, and accepts evan’s offer of $20. this implies that jared was willing to break a plethora of laws to befriend evan. in this essay i will

Beginning of Legend: November 30, 2131

Ending of Legend: December 29, 2131

Beginning of Prodigy: January 4, 2132

Ending of Prodigy: March 15, 2132

Beginning of Champion: November 15, 2132

Ending of Champion: unnumbered Thursday in March 2133

Epilogue of Champion: July 11, 2143

I’m getting really emotional over this omg why

“by whom’s directions found'st out of this place?” “by love that first did prompt me to inquire” is SO funny bc Juliet’s like “Who Told You How To Find My House” and Romeo’s like,,,, uhhhh I know a guy

wonder about the only soul that can tell which smiles im faking..... kleinsen lyric

tumblr user ocdranboo here i adore the concept of ocd c!ranboo but i think if it were actually canon it would not make much sense. like he obviously doesnt have ocd i just like the concept of like. idk i feel that irl au c!ranboo would have ocd

i redact this statement i think c!ranboo has ocd because He's my special little [gender redacted] and i love him

it’s my first day of senior year today just like evan hansen so i wrote myself a dear nikolas redacted letter

Keep reading

it’s my last day of senior year (holy shit) so. evan hansen letter go brrr

okay but how dare castle just drop in that “how do you know if you’re in love” “all the songs make sense” line Like That. like. that’s so raw and powerful what tf??? the way she SAYS IT is like. it’s so matter of fact but also like she’s talking from personal experience. and it just. she. she just Says That????? and the writers expect me to be able to recover fast enough to track the episode???????? gOD. it’s too raw. it’s too powerful. im having a stroke

apparently, I joined this tumblr place at 09/18/2015 6:06:16 PM.

“i burn you?” “you melt me” (heat waves) || “some people are worth melting for” (frozen 2013)

you're fifteen years old and you're on your computer and you want to talk about your favourite musical. and you go online, and you see you have three asks in your ask box. so you open them. the first one is telling you they liked a fanfic you wrote a while back. the second one is from your friend asking how your day was.

the third one is someone saying actually, it's ableist to say that he abused her. he was mentally ill, he couldn't help it. it wasn't his fault so you should forgive him. it's not like he did anything that bad.

and you read this, and you feel a little sick to your stomach, so you curse them out and give them a link to the forty page essay you've written on the topic of why defending abuse is bad. you know they won't read it, they don't care enough to.

again and again and again you log onto the same website and you hear that it wasn't that bad, it wasn't his fault because he was mentally ill, so it's fine, everyone should forgive him. and you think it's not seeping into your skin but maybe it is.

you're sixteen years old. it's been a couple months, you've just turned sixteen, and you're on vacation in florida. and your friend texts you, and she asks you out. and you feel butterflies not in your stomach but in your throat and it feels like it's choking you but you think no, this is just anxiety.

you're sixteen years old, and you're dating this girl. and she's lying to you to get you to do what she wants. she's isolating you from your friends. she's saying she's sad, she's depressed, she's anxious, she needs you to be there for her. she's mentally ill, she needs help, you're her boyfriend, so you should help her. it makes sense.

you log onto tumblr. someone tells you that she was lying. she was being dramatic. she was making things up to be ableist, to make her brother look bad, for attention. her brother said he didn't abuse her. you try to tell them a character talking to herself is not them lying for attention. they don't listen. maybe they're right.

so when you're eighteen and you're having a panic attack in your room because something took you back to being sixteen and terrified of your ex and unable to admit it, maybe you should just think to yourself well, she was mentally ill. it wasn't that bad. maybe you're just lying for attention. after all, if you were to ask her, she'd say she never did anything wrong.

i forgot: you're fifteen years old, and you're telling your tumblr followers, hey. maybe dont excuse abuse. what if somebody is in an abusive relationship and doesn't realize it because of how normalized it's been?

c!beeduo in gay love

moved to @osmpranboo

so youve found this blog and ur from my new main. thats cool! im gonna ask that u dont, like, go thru the 50k posts on here. theres not anything Bad but there is Cringe. and Well i dont want people seeing the cringe. also while i stand by most of the opinions i had after like 2020 they were often worded quite poorly. & i dont want ppl thinking my inability to express my thoughts at age 15 is how i am now jfjfjf

im working on privating all my posts due to insane person disease (ocd) so. my point is. go follow @osmpranboo bc if u liked my posts here youll love my posts there. unless u were here for one of my older fandoms. in which case sorry.

aside from having used this blog since i was 12 and wanting a fresh start, here’s part of the reason i moved blogs. tl;dr: having a bunch of posts where ppl told me, someone who was being abused by a mentally ill person, that it wasnt abuse if the abuser was mentally ill fucked me up & i dont want those to be associated with me either. & i dont want the people who told me that associated with me.

sorry this post got into a weird rut now whoops. um. love u !! meet me over at my new blog ^_^

ive decided to delete that blog, bc Well like i said above ^ all those reasons for moving? theyre good reasons to delete it. im keeping some of my better posts up on this blog tho. to commemorate it ig

sorry can’t hear you over the sound of twin size mattress - the front bottoms (2013) being played directly into my ears

what you hear: “hey man, you okay?” “…”

what i hear: and they cut your hair and sent you away, you stopped by my house the night you escaped, with tears in my eyes I begged you to stay, you said hey man I love you but no fucking way,

yesterday, i was at mcdonalds with little bro, waiting in line to buy a dairy milk mcflurry, when i felt a tap on my shoulder. i turned around and saw a 15 year old girl, looking at me in disgust.

“is there a problem?” i asked, with no idea what was wrong.

the girl raised a finger slowly, like she was about to point out the murderer in a police lineup, and sneered, “is that a jared keyring?”

i blinked but then remembered that i had a jared kleinman keyring on my backpack.

“it is,” i said.

this is when the girl. flipped. the fuck. out. she began waving her arms and ranting about how jared was abusive and homophobic, and how that made me those things too, and she said a lot of other stuff that whirled past so fast that i struggled to keep up. by the time she took her first breath, people were staring, and a crowd gathered as she sucked in air for a second time, face blotched a reddish purple. tens of people were watching but she still had the nerve to wig out to a total stranger. i couldn’t get a word in edgewise, and i was about to go up to the counter when she grabbed by backpack.

“what’s your problem, you brutish ignoramus?” i asked, fearing for my life.

then an elderly gentleman who couldn’t have been younger than seventy stepped out of the ring of onlookers around us. he lifted his hand and gave his top hat a little twitch.

“excuse me,” he said. “but does your mother know how you treat total strangers?”

the girl rolled her eyes and scoffed, “my mother would agree with me.”

“oh really?” the man jerked up his chin. “can you call her?”

so the girl phoned up her mother and was so confident that she put her on speaker, and she started to explain dear evan hansen to her mother but then her mother butted in to say, “and you abused this stranger because of that?”

IT TURNED OUT THAT THE MOTHER NOT ONLY HAD GONE TO SEE THE OBC OF DEH, BUT SHE RAN A FANBLOG FOR IT WITH THOUSANDS OF FOLLOWERS. everyone in the room got to hear her mother tell her off for abusing and gaslighting a total stranger in public. the mother mentioned how jared is the most cosplayed character and how jared is the best character, and how her daughter is old enough to tell the difference between fiction and reality, and all the daughter could do was hang her head in shame.

i thought it couldn’t get any better until the mother dealt the finishing blow.

“when you get home, we’re getting rid of all of your dear evan hansen stuff, as you clearly can’t appreciate the franchise.”

the girl ran out of mcdonalds with great fanfare, and when i arrived at the counter, i was given a free chocolate milkshake.

bonus: the mother phoned me this afternoon and apologised, and she told me that she made her daughter get rid of all her deh merchandise and give it away to charity. she also made her delete her tumblr, but not before posting on her daughter’s main blog, her art blog, her kinblog, her artblog AND her anti blog about how immature her daughter was.

so yeah, this was an interesting weekend lol.

actually every be more chill kid is nonbinary now.

jeremy- agender; they/them

michael- demigirl; they/she

jake- demiboy; he/him

rich- genderfluid; ze/hir

jenna- bigender; he/she

christine- genderqueer; ae/star

brooke- pangender; she/it

chloe- girlflux; she/her

fuck everyone else here’s my nb bmc headcanons 

jeremy: realised they weren’t cis around age 12 but spent forever questioning bc they never rly let themselves consider being nonbinary as an option. it was only when michael came out to them that they were like “btw. im thinking abt this thing.”

michael: shes always felt closer to being fem than any form of masc and relates a lot to those memes on reddit about transfem gamers. she told her moms when she was 7 that she kind of wanted to b a girl & they were supportive of her & let her figure herself out. they goe by michael or maya online but their irl friends just call them michael & theyre fine w it

jake: thought he was binary transmasc for the LONGEST TIME until finally identifying as a demiboy after looking into it. at first hes scared to b openly trans cuz he passes but eventually he just goes fuck it i’m trans and im proud and hangs a nb flag off his wheelchair

rich: was one of those rly annoying “only two genders” gatekeepers before realising ze was nonbinary. ze felt invalid bc ze doesnt really have dysphoria but eventually became more comfortable in hirself & is proud of being nb

jenna: she really likes dressing in fem outfits and doing her makeup but every once in a while she’s like. fuck it masc time. or pairs heavy makeup w/ masc clothes. he loves labels and collects a lot bc they’re comforting to him

christine: ae said “fuck ‘normal’ pronouns, neopronoun time” and ae was RIGHT. opposite of jenna, star just goes by genderqueer because star doesnt rly understand stars gender, or any gender for that matter. also unrelated to this post but ae would be into clowncore u cant change my mind

brooke: she first learned about being pangender by seeing the flag and going “thats rly pretty what does it mean?” & related to the term. it’s autistic and trans & uses it/its to reclaim them. 

chloe: she and rich used to watch “trender compilations” on youtube and laugh & worked through that together while they were questioning. she realised she was just jealous of people who were confident in their identity. she usually identifies as closer to agender than to female but still thinks being a girl is important 2 her identity as well & thus uses girlflux as a label

ugh. tired of this. going goth right now

sick of this. pairing a leather jacket and spikes with booty shorts

im not like other boys. I like to eat a fish whole and then drink seven gallons of water so he can swim

anyway remember i said i was gonna alter the lyrics to good for you a bit so i could sing the whole thing as jared? i never got around to doing it officially but last night i was singing nd playing around w the words nd came up with “found the ghost of a boy so perfect, so we said you were someone new” im kinda proud?