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The Man that Can™(?)

@transslyblue

☆|Cain|transman|He/Him|23|☆ I post art on here, but this blog is mostly reblogs. This is a lgbtqa+ INCLUSIVE blog. This blog is also not politcally centered nor is it centered on any news, but if you have any questions or concerns, please pm me or send an ask off anon so we can chat. My ask box is open 24/7 so feel free to drop an ask if you want! My profile picture was drawn by one of the coolest people I know on this hellsite, http://friendshapedplant.tumblr.com The Adorable header drawn by http://mirosuikaaa.tumblr.com! Please give her a follow My art blog ☆: https://doodlecain.tumblr.com My ask blog ☆: https://marx-and-associates.tumblr.com
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Tumblr’s Core Product Strategy

Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.

The Diagnosis

In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience. 

Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content. 

To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.

Our Guiding Principles

To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.

  1. Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.
  2. Provide high-quality content with every app launch.
  3. Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.
  4. Retain and grow our creator base.
  5. Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.
  6. Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.

Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.

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Oh hell no. If this site starts to auto curate for you like so many others, then you will run most of your user base off the site. The unique part of Tumblr is the fact you have to curate your own feed! Have you all not been seeing how the resident users have been treating the new users here? How they're helping the new users to learn the site? There's a reason Tumblr is still used as it is today. Don't. Break. It.

Crab Day!!!

Where:

Here on Tumblr!!

What:

Buy crabs!

Why:

As we now know, Tumblr is $30 million dollars in debt. Oops. Tumblr has announced some major (and unpopular) changes to the site in their attempt to get back above water. The alternative is that Tumblr ceases to exist. But maybe we can change that...

How:

There are 327 million unique tumblr visits per month, and almost 500 million active accounts. If 10 million unique users (or less, if we bought more than one) bought or gifted Crabs from the Tumblr store, we could knock out Tumblr's debt easily. Buy crabs!

When:

July 29, 2023 is Crab Day, running through August 5 (for anyone who can't log on that day) as Crab Week!

Who:

Everyone!! If you truly can't afford to participate with a $3 crab, (or other item from the shop) post crab memes!

Time for Tumblr users to rise again and surprise everyone...

Okay so I did some research, very basic research, on the user base of tumblr and how many of us there are.

There are at least 300 million unique visitors worldwide on this site. Over 500 million blogs.

Listen. Tumblr is $30 million in debt. This is Super easy for us to solve.

If each user gifts one blog crabs, which costs slightly over $3, that would be roughly $600 million at least. Far more than enough to get Tumblr out of the red zone.

If we want tumblr to stay afloat and not change something as integral about their operating system, we need to show them they can be profitable without reducing themselves to common social media sites. What we have here is special. It is different. We are the social media site people run to when theirs collapses and for good reason.

If we want this to work, we have to make it work. We can even make it into a game. Just how long can we outlast the other social media sites?

Round 4B/Quarterfinals:

Marx (Kirby Super Star/Kirby Super Star Ultra) vs Magolor (Kirby's Return to Dream Land/Return to Dream Land Deluxe)

Themes:

The winner will move on to the next round! If they tie, or one of them wins by 5% or less, they’ll both continue on as a team!

My followers...

...I don't ask you for much. I wasn't remotely salty when my plans to have Marx tie crash into Galactic Nova last round failed. And I swear I will try to influence no future polls during this silly, no stakes Tumblr game.

But the rules of this specific tournament give us a...unique opportunity. Which is why I ask of you...please let them tie.

(I'll draw cute trickster duo fanart if you do!!)

slasher horror: you better not have premarital sex or gerald "the stabber" douglas is gonna getcha

creepypasta: once there was a teen named alex and he was bullied so hard that he and the acid disfigured him so and he started killing everyone so they call him george the attacker

/x/: there was the skinwalker who stole my best friend's voice and then man door hand hook car door

r/nosleep: my wife was hungry for raw meat and then she gave birth to The Satan. he looked me in the eyes and said "don't go outside past midnight or else the eyeless ones might notice." but it turns out i never had a wife or son and the world ended 5 years ago on this very night.

r/twosentencehorror: i ran out of bloodmilk for my cereal. luckily, the creature provides.

mascot horror: this is silly wiggles, the candy giraffe! explore the silly wiggles candy emporium after dark! the secret ingredient is Love™! also the hidden video tapes will reveal that "Love™" is actually the copyright name for the consciousness of tortured children, mixed with the ground organs of factory workers.

indie horror: i can't describe this, there are only 7 pixels so idk what's going on

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also get peer reviewed.

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when i was a freshman in college i wanted to dress up for halloween because i thought surely college students would have the spirit. so i elected to put a whole entire Skull Kid from legend of zelda majora’s mask cosplay together and wear that fucking ensemble to college on halloween.

i step on campus and realize immediately that not one other person is dressed up. not so much as a cat ear headband. so imagine this fucking dude sitting in a class of otherwise normally dressed people looking like this. that was me. this was my 9/11

jokes that will literally never not be funny to me:

  • saying “speedrun strats” every time you fuck up
  • saying “first try” when you’ve tried the thing like 15 times, minimum
  • saying “skill issue” when something is 100% outside of anyone’s control