• even if you get along great with your family you will get along even better with them after moving out 
• generic is almost always just as good as name brand. But there are some things you never buy generic, including: peanut butter, ketchup, liquid NyQuil, Chips-Ahoy chewy chocolate chip cookies
• just imagine the person on the other end of the phone hates talking on the phone as much as you do. Even a receptionist. I worked as one and I hate talking on the phone
• at least once in your life you will go to Wal-mart to buy something under $20 like an ironing board or something and your debit card will get rejected. No one will judge. Everyone at some point in their lives has had $2.98 in their bank account. 
• thrift stores
• everyone else is too busy panicking about everyone else noticing every tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about them to notice any tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about you
• you will screw up. a lot. you live and you learn. and when you start to think too hard about that embarrassing thing that happened and how you wish you could change it, just tell yourself that what’s done is done. There’s no changing it, so just forget it and move on. It’s the only way to stay sane.
• do the dishes before the sink grows its own ecosystem
• you can’t put Dawn dishsoap in the dishwasher. 
• if you are the only one in the aisle at the grocery store, and you need to get from one end to the other without even looking at anything in that aisle, then you should totally cart-surf down the aisle. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Hold on to the little things. They make all the difference.
• never try to make cake from scratch at 3am. You end up with a topographical map of Middle Earth.
• 15% tip. 
• the best way to get money for food is to tell your grandparents about how you basically live on microwaved mac and cheese. Their horror may result in twenty bucks and orders to go out and get yourself “a real dinner”.
• sometimes life sucks, and knowing that it might get better doesn’t always make it suck any less, but you’ll never get to the non-sucky days without enduring the suckiness. 
• no seriously, NEVER put Dawn in your dishwasher

• Reward yourself from time to time when you do things that you needed to get done. It’s a good way to remind yourself to do them. Going out to pay a bill? Get Starbucks or something you don’t get often. Rewards don’t have to be huge, they can be small things like that.
• Rice, pasta, flour, sugar, cheese, eggs, milk, a pack of chicken, a pack of frozen veggies and a well stocked spice cabinet go a long way food-wise. Splurge and get the biggest container of rice you can. You don’t have to go back and buy it again anytime soon and it makes a TON of meals in the meantime.
• Rice can be cooked on the stove. You don’t need a fancy rice cooker. Two parts water to every one part rice (two cups water for one cup of rice for example). Get your water boiling, add rice, put a plate or lid on it, put it on low for 20 minutes. It should be done.
• Keep a calendar on your pc of bill due dates. If your bills are set up at inconvenient times, like all of the services started on the first or something, then call up the company and find out if you can get your billing date switched to something more manageable. A lot of places do try to work with you.
• There is no shame in calling a company and asking for an extension on a bill. Let them know what you can pay, pay that amount, and they arrange when the rest of the payment is required. This can stop you from having services shut off man. It shows responsibility on your part.
• Take time to eat, even when you don’t feel like eating. Your body needs energy to live.
• Wash or rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. It prevents gross caked on junk.
• “The Works” is an excellent cheap toilet cleaner.
• MAGIC. FUCKING. ERASERS. THEY WORK ON EVERYTHING JUST DON’T SCRUB HARD. I took the ring out of our bathtub with one. Also generic ones work just as well.

• Keep some bleach around but if you use it for cleaning? Dillute it. There’s rarely ever a case where you need to pout straight bleach on anything. A cap full or two in a bucket of water works just fine.
• DO NOT MIX CLEANERS. Chemical reactions are can be very dangerous. Here’s a good list. (Note that vinegar and baking soda can actually be a good combo for removing smells from things but it’s not very good at actually -cleaning-.)
• If you drink? Don’t take meds at the same time it’s just not good.
• Make sure you check the dosages on your pill bottles. No one wants to accidentally overdose on cough syrup or ibuprofen.
• If you have a uterus make sure you have a heating pad and ibuprofen on hand for the pain. Hot baths also generally help and Ginger Tea is excellent for any nausea.
• Buy a first aid kit. It’s worth it in the long run.
• You can often do your taxes online at places like TurboTax.
• Here’s some good sex ed resources because I had to explain what a yeast infection was recently. 
• Petroleum jelly (aka Vaseline) is good for chapped lips and you can get a decent sized tube or tub of it (generic brand version) for cheaper/same price as Chapstick.
• KEEP TRIPLE ANTIBIOTIC OINTMENT IN YOUR HOUSE FOR CUTS AND SCRAPES AND SORES. 

• Every man should have an adult wardrobe. That means owning at least three suits. A navy blue suit, a black suit and a grey suit. To help you get started here are a few guides:
• Getting suited up for the first time? Here you go.
• How To Match Tie, Collar & Lapel Widths
• Real Men Real Style Guide to Fit
• How to Fit a Suit Jacket and Mens Pants
• Don’t bath in cologne. Ever. The point of cologne is to smell great but only to those who get up close and personal NOT to the entire room. So dab in the back of the ears, on your wrists and dassit. DASSIT!
• Learn to tie a tie. You’re an adult. It’s always embarassing when a man doesn’t know how to tie a tie. Here’s a guide:
• 18 Ways to Tie a Tie
• Leadership skills are important in life NOT just at work. Always invest in learning and growing those skills. Start with the following books:
• The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership
• Becoming a Person of Influence: How to Positively Impact the Lives of Others
• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
• Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
• Always treat a woman like a lady no matter what. It’s not a matter of her, it’s a matter of you. Women have tried their best to kill chivalry (yea i said it hahaha), but it still speaks well of men to maintain these standards. The basics:
• Always walk on the street side with a woman.
• Always hold the door open for a woman.
• Always walk behind a woman when she goes up the stairs.
• Always walk in front of a woman when she goes down the stairs.
• Always pull the chair out for a woman when at a dinner table (especially on a date)
• Always stand when a woman, especially on a date, leaves or enters the room until she is seated.
• Learn manners. You’re not more of a man because you don’t know what a salad fork is. That’s stupid. Here are some books to get you started:
• Etiquette by Emily Post
• Modern Manners: Tools to Take You to the Top
• The Gentlemen’s Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness
• Everyday Etiquette: How to Navigate 101 Common and Uncommon Social Situations
• Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck
• Emily Post’s Etiquette, 18
• Money. Start saving at least 10% of your paycheck into savings no matter what. Don’t touch it unless you absolutely have to. Build and protect your credit. You’re going to need it sooner than you think. Start thinking about investing now. Compound interest is hugely important to building wealth. Here are some places to get you started:
• Investing Basics
• The Compound Effect
• Think and Grow Rich
• The Millionaire Next Door
• Stop Acting Rich
• Self awareness is the key to personal growth. Without it you’re doom to just keep repeating the same mistakes and wonder why you’re not progressing. Start with personality tests to get a sense of who you are and once you do, build on your strength and limit the impact of your weakness.
• 16 Personalities 
• Big 5 Personality Test
• Learn and live the 80/20 rule. 80% of your success comes from 20% of your acts. Figure out what those are and invest more in that 20%.  Here are some resources to get you started:
• The 80/20 Rule of Time Management: Stop Wasting Your Time
• 80-20 Rule
• The Top 4 Misapplications of the 80/20 Rule
• Sex. Don’t be a typical man who thinks he’s a sex God and never has to learn anything or put any time into getting better at it. For women, that’s the worst. It actually means that if you knows what she needs to get off and feel satisfied, you won’t listen if she tells you. Not. Good. If you actually want to be great in bed, listen and learn. 
• The Modern Kama Sutra
• Spectacular Sex Moves She’ll Never Forget
• The Position Sex Bible
• 365 Sex Positions
• The Men’s Health and Women’s Health Big Book of Sex
• This should go without saying but I’m going to say it any way. No means no. Nothing matters when she says no. It doesn’t even matter if you’re fucking, no means no. Cease and desist immediately. Respect her wishes.
• Job Interviews: As someone who interviews a lot of people, there are some essentials you have to master in order to do well in interviews:
• Come dressed like you want the job NOT like you already have the job. Dark suit and tie. Hair neat. 
• Always bring your resume and many copies of it.
• Give a strong full handshake. None of that spaghetti, three finger bullshit.
• Take notes. Pen and pad not an iPad or your phone. Pen and pad.
• Prepare good questions in advance. You should always ask questions that show knowledge of the industry as well as knowledge of a good work environment. You should interview them just as much as they interview you. Find out what issue they are trying to solve with the position they are hiring for.
• Always have an answer for the question “why do you want to work here?” Always.
• End every interview with the question “So given what we’ve reviewed and talked about today, is there any reason why you wouldn’t offer me this position?” That’s a power question that makes it clear you want the job and you’re open to having a frank discussion about your chance (good or bad).
• Send a thank you email (not letter or note) no more than 3 business days after but not the next business day.
• Incorporate into the thank you email the answers to questions you asked and/or information you were given (remember those notes) to show that you were actually listening. Especially work in the information regarding the issues they are trying to solve with the hire and how you can help them with that. 
• Always make and maintain eye contact.

people who shower in under 5 minutes

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