failures and mistakes can be progress. they can be signs that you’re going in the right direction, but haven’t yet found the right path through
The purest form of love is consideration. When someone thinks about how things would make you feel. Pays attention to detail. Holds you in regard when making decisions that could affect you. In any bond, how much they care about you can be found in how much they consider you
With all due disrespect anyone who thinks a full grown adult can survive off of 12$/hr in 2023 should die
Facebook deleted this almost immediately. It's almost like the ultrawealthy don't want us knowing or talking about what's at stake.
if i heard that a woman aborted a fetus because prenatal screening had revealed a disability that i shared, i would simply not shame her
darkacademialesbian
RIP to people who think bodily autonomy is conditional but im different
darkacademialesbian
i’ve been getting a lot of comments/questions about this post. some is good, some is bad. i’ve decided not to respond individually and instead say:
- i said what i said. i wasn’t confused about saying it.
- if i found out a woman had aborted a fetus because she found out that fetus had a disability that i have—disabilities that i have firsthand knowledge of being painful, difficult to live with, and often resource-intensive—i would not be angry with her. i would not feel like she doesn’t think people like me should not be alive (unless she actually said so).
- fetuses are not little potential “you”s. projecting your own anxieties onto a woman’s abortion (”i wouldn’t have wanted to be aborted” is common reasoning in plenty of pro-life circles; it’s not better here) is invasive and nonsensical.
- bodily autonomy isn’t conditional. you don’t know a woman’s exact reason for abortion and you don’t need to. women’s rights to abortion need to be protected, even if you feel icky about some potential reasoning behind an abortion, which you aren’t even fully privy to in the first place.
- disabled people should always be in the care of people who have the resources and desire to take care of them. insisting that disabled children be born simply to ease your own moral qualms with abortion is frankly unethical in my opinion, resources are often very slim for disabled people. not to mention our quality of life is often just lower in general. you can argue all you want in the notes about “mild” disabilities but you aren’t the arbiter of what constitutes a mild enough disability to make an abortion terrible and immoral and shame-worthy.
- women aren’t vessels. regardless of how morally pure you feel your crusade is, they simply aren’t.
- speaking as a disabled person, energy is literally always better spent on changing society—by increasing resources for caretakers and disabled people alike, speaking frankly about quality of life, correcting notions about what disabled people’s lives are like, punishing mistreatment of actual disabled people [not potential ones], and putting research into easing the pain/suffering of people as much as possible—than it is on getting mad about women getting abortions. and it isn’t just better spent that way, it’s just immoral to do the latter.
- in conclusion: RIP to people who think bodily autonomy is conditional but im different.
If I believe that everyone should be able to access abortion, at any time, for any reason - and I do! - then that’s also allowing that people may have abortions for reasons I disagree with - and it is none of my fucking business, because it’s not my body.
How would that even work? How could you even enforce that? “Anyone can have an abortion EXCEPT you, because your fetus would be born with a disability”? That’s just nonsensical.
I’m disabled and I’m sick of those anti-bodily autonomy assholes using disabled people as a prop - or those same people using “disabled children” as a euphemism to mean a fetus with fetal abnormalities that are incompatible with life, as a way to prevent people from accessing abortions later in pregnancy.
RIP to people who think bodily autonomy is conditional but I’m different.
No forced pregnancy or forced birth is moral. I don’t care why the force is being applied.
You can advocate for more resources and education so more people are able to care for a disabled child
AND
support complete bodily autonomy and a person’s right to choose in all cases. Even if you personally don’t like it
You can support two things
“speaking as a disabled person, energy is literally always better spent on changing society—by increasing resources for caretakers and disabled people alike, speaking frankly about quality of life, correcting notions about what disabled people’s lives are like, punishing mistreatment of actual disabled people [not potential ones], and putting research into easing the pain/suffering of people as much as possible—than it is on getting mad about women getting abortions. and it isn’t just better spent that way, it’s just immoral to do the latter. ”
Louder for those in the back!
I’m disabled, I have many issues and me and mom always agreed that if she had been given a choice she would’ve aborted me.
I see a lot of posts talking about how you’re not behind in life. And it’s true and a really great message. I’m not disagreeing.
I just want to take a moment to talk to those that feel behind because they’ve lost so many years to trauma, mental illness or any number of circumstances. It’s okay to grieve for the time you’ve lost.
It’s really valid that you feel it isn’t fair that you dealt with the obstacles you did. Because it isn’t fair. And while it’s important to not get hung up on that, it’s okay to feel it and grieve what you lost.
thought you all would like to see these pictures i got of mama kitty today
compliments that aren’t about physical appearance:
“I feel safe in your energy.”
“I wish there were more people like you in this world.“
“You make me feel less alone.”
“I see how hard you are trying. I am proud of you.”
touching grass isn't enough some of y'all need to drive out to the countryside and look at the stars
this post was aimed at the discourse-addled and terminally online, but i'm glad it's reaching an audience of people who are just excited about stargazing in general
Self improvement is great but ultimately? you have to accept your self. Yes you can eat better, exercise more, read more, set boundaries, love your self, but it all comes down to this. Some days you won’t have the energy to do any of these things. And you’ll look in the mirror and think that this is not enough. That’s a lie. The biggest love for self is to live slowly. To rest. To really rest. Have a nap. Eat what makes you feel good. Read if you want to. Embrace yourself and accept that you cannot and will not be ever be perfect. Accept that you are good enough. You don’t need to keep busy all the time. you don’t need to go out all the time and post on instagram. You don’t need to journal if you don’t want to. You don’t need to make art if you don’t want to. Breathe, give yourself grace and compassion. Give yourself the love and tenderness you so badly need. Be gentle with yourself. You are trying and it is good enough. You are good enough.
A beautiful poem that illustrates my point
My apartment building has coin-op laundry in the basement, and on the shelf where people store detergent there are also just enough quarters to start one load in the washer. This is the collective "oh shit I forgot my quarters" bank that anyone can borrow from to start laundry without having to climb all the way back up the goddamn stairs first. These quarters have been steadily used and replaced for multiple years now, and every time I see them I think about how upon such small foundations rests all of human society.
You have probably heard a lot about inner child work for healing trauma, but have you ever heard about inner teen work? Lots of us were hurt as teenagers, through family, bullying, bad school experiences, toxic relationships and so on. Many of us missed experiences like experiencing with fashion and makeup and hair dye, watching cringey teen movies, listening to certain bands, using certain websites or games, social media, drawing bad art and decorating our rooms a certain way. Don't be scared to do some of these things now, even if you are "too old" for these things now or outgrew the interests you had. When I was a teen, I wanted to dress emo and watch twilight and get a tattoo and the day I tried doing these things once, as an adult, it felt so healing and comforting. You still have time.
uh so i never do this but maui is quite literally on fire and there isn't nearly enough care or consideration for. you know. Native Hawaiians who live here being displaced and the land (and cultural relevance) that's being eaten up by the fire. so if ya'll wanna help, here's some links:
maui food bank: https://mauifoodbank.org/
maui humane society: https://www.mauihumanesociety.org/
center for native hawaiian advancement: https://www.memberplanet.com/campaign/cnhamembers/kakoomaui
hawai'i red cross: https://www.redcross.org/local/hawaii/ways-to-donate.html
please reblog and spread the word if you can't donate.
sometimes i’ll be scrolling on here and almost reblog what a mutual reblogged from me like so true bestie