a true fact about spiders is they can’t run for extended periods of time because they have asthma. all spiders are nerds. even tarantulas. have you ever seen a spider dating a hot babe? i doubt it. spider flashing his cash in the club? nope. spider pulling up beside you at the lights in a lamborghini? never happened. they’ve got so many eyes because they love reading. nerds. all of them.

She didn’t have to flex this hard 😤😤

We live in a society

This was an experience.

I love experimental film like this

me, a legal adult: when i grow up,

Rt

oh my god

The first West Coast SpaceX launch captured by photographer Dylan Schwartz.

If you're ever bored, here's a list of Studio Ghibli films you can watch for free.

Castle In The Sky (1986) Grave of the Fireflies (1988) My Neighbor Totoro (1988) Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989) Only Yesterday (1991) Porco Rosso (1992) Pom Poko (1994) Whisper of the Heart (1995) Princess Mononoke (1997) My Neighbors the Yamadas (1999) Spirited Away (2001) The Cat Returns (2002) Howl’s Moving Castle (2004) Tales from Earthsea (2006) Ponyo On A Cliff From The Sea (2008) The Secret World of Arrietty/The Borrower Arrietty (2010) From Up on Poppy Hill (2011)

If any of the links stop working, please let me know so I can fix it.

For Castle In The Sky, wait for the free user button to be clickable and it will send you to the video.

how do I not share this, though (HIGHLY RECOMMENDING HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE IT’S MY FAVORITE)

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984) The Tale of the Princess Kaguya (2013) The Wind Rises (2013)

These are so good if you need something to calm you down on a bad day or after panics :)

Being a writer is writing 3,000 words at 4 in the morning and then not touching your work for a month

panic! at the keyboard

Because treating people fairly often means treating them differently.

This is something that I teach my students during the first week of school and they understand it. Eight year olds can understand this and all it costs is a box of band-aids.

I have each students pretend they got hurt and need a band-aid. Children love band-aids. I ask the first one where they are hurt. If he says his finger, I put the band-aid on his finger. Then I ask the second one where they are hurt. No matter what that child says, I put the band-aid on their finger exactly like the first child. I keep doing that through the whole class. No matter where they say their pretend injury is, I do the same thing I did with the first one.

After they all have band-aids in the same spot, I ask if that actually helped any of them other than the first child. I say, “Well, I helped all of you the same! You all have one band-aid!” And they’ll try to get me to understand that they were hurt somewhere else. I act like I’m just now understanding it. Then I explain, “There might be moments this year where some of you get different things because you need them differently, just like you needed a band-aid in a different spot.” 

If at any time any of my students ask why one student has a different assignment, or gets taken out of the class for a subject, or gets another teacher to come in and help them throughout the year, I remind my students of the band-aids they got at the start of the school year and they stop complaining. That’s why eight year olds can understand equity. 

I remember reading somewhere once “we should be speaking of equity instead of equality” and that is a principle that applies here me thinks

me, getting chased around my house by a murderer: alexa play what’s new scooby doo by simple plan

When you guys have visited potential apartments, what kind of questions did you ask besides the basics like what rent and utilities include?

Here are questions I didn’t ask but should have: what does the basement look like?

What measures are taken to secure the building ?

Are the walls thin? Brief info of who lives in the building. Are they college kids? People that work through the day? Elderly? Is it a mix? Where does the garbage go?

Can I pay rent bi-weekly? What kind of fuses does the apartment use? (My fuse box is in the basement. If I blow a fuse I have to replace it myself. They screw until the box. All of which I didn’t know until it happend and I was sitting in the dark suddenly)

Who do I call for repairs? (If it’s a private rental) Am I allowed to paint the walls? Is there any additional storage? Do you do regular pest control?

count the outlets, ask about recycling policies, ask if there’s a noise restriction (nothing loud after midnight, everything goes on the weekend, etc)

LAUNDRY FACILITIES Definitely ask about security Whether subletting is allowed (esp if you’re in college and might want to sublet for the summer) If you have a car, whether there’s parking/how much it costs What kind of heating/AC there is Procedure/response time for any maintenance How mail/packages are received/protected from theft (seriously people stealing your packages can be a huge problem) What kind of verification of your salary will they want, and in what circumstances will they accept a guarantor instead? Whether the apartment is furnished

Assuming you are in the middle of looking at/choosing between places: When does the lease start? Are you going to give preference to people based on when they can move in? Whether groups of a certain number of people get preference Really anything about who they prioritize for applications, it can save you a lot of trouble in trying to apply to places you’ll never get into

not something for asking the realtors, necessarily, but important rights you should be aware of as a tenant:

when and for what reasons are your landlords allowed to enter your home? how much of a notice should they give you before entering?

can the landlord make modifications to your home or apartment without your approval? to what extent?

what are the options and conditions for breaking your lease early if there’s an emergency? (this is ESPECIALLY important for anyone moving to a new state/considerable distance where you are not able to visit the apartment/home before you rent – students get taken advantage of ALL THE TIME with this shit)

if your first or last month at the property is a partial stay (i.e. you move in on july 15th, and rent is typically due on the first) make sure you don’t pay the full first month’s rent before you know the area laws! in many states, you are only legally required to pay for the time you are occupying the property

is renter’s insurance necessary? many apartments want at least 30k coverage, which can run a couple hundred dollars extra per year

are the landlords/property management liable for crimes on the property? for example, if your car was broken into. if not GET RENTER’S INSURANCE

-ask if there’s any property upkeep you can do to get a bit off the rent (aka, can they take 100$ off the monthly rent if you maintain the lawns/garden, etc.) 

-ask if there’s been any consistent/frequent trouble with electricity/internet connectivity/cable if you have it

-what KIND of electricity? 

-what kind of heating (hot water/electric)

-how secure is the neighborhood (if you don’t know) 

-ANY PLUMBING ISSUES? check ALL the fucking taps, the showers, EVERYTHING WITH WATER to make sure it all works right. 

-ANY PLUMBING ISSUES? check ALL the fucking taps, the showers, EVERYTHING WITH WATER to make sure it all works right. 

I CANNOT SECOND THIS ENOUGH.

ALSO

- who last lived here? why did they leave?

- Do they charge an “amenities fee” (Around here you can’t avoid them at all now, but some places you might still be able to)

- Do they have a policy on rent increases? (Also check if there’s a legal limit to rent increases in the area).

- Are utilities paid in a separate check or with the rent?

- Are utilities metered or pro-rated (in older buildings it’s common to be charged by square footage and/or number of occupants, which can leave you subsidizing the people who turn the a/c down to 60 in the summer or the heat up to 80 in the winter - you may not be able to avoid this but it’s worth trying).

- Are there any switched circuits in the apartment. Buildings built in the late sixties through the early eighties often have switched circuits. If they do, then with the number of devices used these days you will probably have to have something important on the switched circuit - tape the switch in the on position! (Trust me).

- What are the rules on hanging pictures?

- Who is responsible for paying for and replacing bulbs in permanent fixtures? If it’s you and there’s a fixture with weird/unusual bulbs (globe style, chandelier style, etc) ask where you can buy the bulbs.

- What are the rules about pets? Do they have breed specific restrictions on dogs? Size restrictions on fish tanks? (Believe it or not that’s not uncommon).

This will be so useful once my lease is up thanks tumblr ☺️🙏🏾

If you have roommates, even if they’re your friends, ask what happens if one person moves out. Who is responsible for their rent? What about security deposit, how much is it and what do you have to do to document existing damages before you move in?

- It’s boring as hell, but read the lease before you sign it! Ask questions and clarify anything you notice that seems weird or that you don’t understand. I had a landlord that required I get the carpets professionally steam cleaned (which I didn’t realize until we were moving out because I didn’t read the entire lease) and another that tried to keep part of my security deposit because I didn’t pay for professional cleaning, but we got the money back because it wasn’t part of their lease that we’d signed.

- Take pictures/make detailed notes about damages already present on move-in. Add additional sheets to what they give you if needed because chances are they’re going to be just as nitpicky when you move out to try and keep part of your security deposit.

- An addition to the hanging pictures - ask what they allow you to use (nails/screws or tape only) and whether they want you to repair the holes to keep part of your deposit. If you’re planning to wall mount your TV, ask specifically about using molly bolts because they’re going to leave a much larger hole than a picture nail.

Useful adult stuff

my fiancé: honey i don’t think this is a good location for a wedding…

me, staring at the abandoned waffle house that was used as a brothel in the 1890s that emits an eerie glow and once had a murder happen inside it and is located precisely 7 miles away from area 51: i think it’s perfect

when you drive your chevy to the levee but the levee is dry and you see the good old boys drinking whiskey and rye

IT HAPPENED

THE LEGO MOVIE BECAME REALITY

I like the guy standing in the bg watching like WUUUUUUT

Is that ladies whole job just setting that up and taking it apart again?

My roomba is scared of thunderstorms

I was sitting at my desk just a few minutes ago, drawing, and a really loud crack of thunder went off–no power surges or anything, just thunder–and my roomba fled from its dock and started spinning in circles

I currently now have an active roomba sitting quietly on my lap

Humans will pack bond with anything. 

I had a teenage girl come into my tea shop with her mother the other night. She purposely grabbed a teamaker in the most crunched-up looking box on the shelf (got banged around in shipment) and carried it protectively over to the counter. “If something’s in a damaged box I have to get it because I’m afraid no one else will love it,” she laughed nervously.

Not only will humans pack bond with anything, the empathy level of adolescent girls in particular likely has puppy-saving, world hunger-solving, war-ending powers.

I once saw a really bumpy lime at the grocery store, just a real ugly fruit. Later that night my boyfriend & I were driving home from rehearsal at like 11:30pm & passed the grocery store & I stared crying & he said “is it that lime? Do you want to go back and get it?” And I nodded and pulled the car around and bought the lime.

I saw this post once but IT GOT EVEN BETTER

Today at therapy was really hard. I was sitting here crying, and generally being miserable, when I felt a nudge at my knee. I looked down to see that Zeus, my service dog, was doing his job… and brought me a potato. it is very hard to cry with a gift of potato.

Remember this? I’m having a rough time right now. Zeus has a solution.

That would be an empty pill bottle, the *correct* pill bottle, a bottle of embossing powder, and two, TWO potatoes.

You’re worth at least 2 potato to him and that’s pretty special imo.

I would just like to remind you all that *I don’t own any potatoes* and I have no clue where he’s getting them from.

*white parent voice* i cant believe kanye and kim named their baby North West!! thats ridiculous!! oh no, its almost 4:30, i need to pick up my kids Mackaylikiah and Ashleighyie from their water polo practice!

I always reblog this post so fucking fast every time it comes on my dash my phone shuts down the tumblr app and reboots

McKarty 64 is my favorite Mario Kart game.

My favorite part is that the blog post the photo was taken from detailed this mother’s decision-making process and chose this name because her husband saw it on a road sign on the way home

She named her daughter after a road sign

a road sign

there was a girl at my school called “zona” cause he parents went on holiday to spain and saw it and thought it was a nice name. IT LITERALLY MEANS ZONE

“47 month old”

this is my four year old rayman origins

“Who’s doing your surgery?”

“Dr. Rayman Origins.”

THE APP REBOOTED FOR ME!!

i met a kid once whose name was “Ryce” and his mum said it was pronounced “Reese”

the best part is she was originally going to spell it “Rice”

My auntie knows a family who decided to name their daughter Owen, but they spelled it “Oin” and they made her middle name the first sound that her big sister made which happened to be “Oogok”. her name is literally “Oin Oogok Puscus”

Oin Oogok Puscus is my favorite dwarf from the Hobbit

Yo I work at a rec center in a rich neighborhood and these are some real names of white children:

Salter Tryge (pronounced Trig) Loots Pocket Aughyst (pronounced August) Taileigh Lotiss Leviathin (yes spelled like that) Bacchus Daniyal (a girl, pronounced like Daniel)

All real

This shit is hilarious

@kaiiwooo

I can’t

47 month old.

Nayvie….. Bish whet????

this is from my kid’s valentine’s list this year like this corny fake unique name thing is no joke yall this is all of the boy names 

47 month old.

I refuse to go on knowing someone named their child “Salter” I’m so done ✌🏿️

Treyton lls, I’m dying…

I know a person from college who’s name is literally “Smile”, l can’t even explain how ridiculous that is…

47 month old

47 month old

Damn suburban moms love to put unnecessary “Y’s” in names.

<b>47 month old<b/>

47 month old.

Somebody named their kid Pocket?!?!???

I am cry wheeze laughing at this post, and then when I got to the bottom I had apparently already hearted it at some point in its life?

Anyway, bless little Christopher’s parents. My god.

47 month old tho

One of the classes I subbed in had a kid named Glarison. I’m sorry, did you misspell Garrison?????

OMG IT IS BACK! I CAN FINALLY POST THE ASK I GOT ABPUT THIS!

I went to college and took religious studies courses with a girl named Storm Pagan. She never understood why I found that both funny and oddly appropriate, and I never felt like taking the time to explain.

for the love of your future children, look up what a name means in all languages before you saddle you kid with it until they’re old enough to legally change it.

I took latin in middle school. I don’t actually remember much now, but i’m telling you, it was IMPOSSIBLE to look this girl I knew in passing in the eye because her name was Latrina. 

Latrina.

(For those of you who have no idea why this is unfortunate and hilarious, ‘latrina’ is one of the latin words for toilet)

What the fuck that even sounds like ‘Latrine’ like who looked at that name and went ‘what could possibly go wrong’

Kids I actually went to school with: Nipponia (Her parents were really enthusiastic about Japan and thought no one would know.) Foreverina  Twins – Heavyn-Leigh and Eterni-Teigh Khayrliy (Carly) MyckEnziey (yes, spelled like that.) Every last one of them was white n blonde.

Naming your kids after gods seems like s BAD PLAN whether you believe in them or not. Especially Odin and Bacchus.

4 7 M O N T H O L D

I knew I pair of sisters named Chardonnae and Breane (nicknamed Brie). Fucking wine and cheese

Heavyn-Leigh and Eterni-Teigh ……. I???……what the fuck 😂😂😂

These sound like rpg fantasy names

man fuck this shit I’m just going to call my children by their last names .

I knew a girl named Constance Sarrow