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Book names + authors under the cut

@queer-book-character-tournament

I can’t believe MoShang is losing, so here’s some propaganda...

Quick summary of what Scum Villain is about: Two guys die in real life and enter the world of a novel. One of these guys is Shang Qinghua, and he’s the author of said novel. In the world of the novel, he takes on the role of a cannon fodder villain who is doomed to die at the hands of the ice demon, Mobei Jun.

As the author, Shang Qinghua knows what’s gonna happen and when. As such, he has every means to change his fate. He even once had the chance to kill Mobei Jun himself, eliminating the threat. But he didn’t. And you know why?

Because he found Mobei Jun too hot.

Literally.

As author, he had created Mobei Jun’s character based on his ideal type of man. Mobei Jun is literally his dream guy. He was once just a product of his imagination, but now this hot, sexy guy has manifested before him. Not to mention that this man was a character he had crafted with love and care. How could he just murder his darling?

Thus, Shang Qinghua decided to keep Mobei Jun alive at the risk of himself being one day killed.

Of course, that’s not all there is to it. To ensure his life, Shang Qinghua starts currying favor with Mobei Jun, obeying his every word. He’d work undercover for him, kill for him, and even get himself beaten up just to protect him.

Once, Mobei Jun fell off a cliff, and Shang Qinghua immediately abandoned everything else and flew out to save him.

And after years of being together, Shang Qinghua eventually started viewing Mobei Jun as not just the demon he has to obey, but as his friend. And Mobei Jun is the same. He no longer views Shang Qinghua as just his lackey, but alas, demons show affection differently.

Mobei Jun misunderstood Shang Qinghua’s subservience to him as Shang Qinghua’s way of asking for affection. Treating him as his own, he brings Shang Qinghua with him to a very important ice demon power thing ceremony. It's a ceremony where Mobei Jun would be vulnerable for some time, yet he brought only the weak, little human Shang Qinghua to be by his side when he should've been protected by a lot of demon guards.

Mobei Jun only trusts Shang Qinghua. Even though Shang Qinghua is too weak to protect him during such a crucial moment.

Ryan offering the Professor a ride home opened up a burning black hole in my mind. That little blue dude has a home? Like a commute? To work?? He has property in LA? The blue elmo pays someone rent???

Remember.

TumblrClan is no place for a fox-hearted Twittypet like Elon Musk. 

I love the implication that when Ryan and the Professor are not trying to strangle each other’s throats, Ryan gives him rides home from Watcher HQ. Like imagine, if you will, the Professor sitting in a lil booster seat in Ryan’s passenger side, sipping on a bottle of Bug Juice, singing at the top of his little puppet lungs to Doja Cat while Ryan wastes away in rush hour traffic.

Whenever Eddie’s in interviews and is asked how he and his husband met, he changes his answer every time.

“We worked at McDonald’s together, I was the manager and he was super nervous his first day, we’ve been inseparable ever since.”

“We’re something like high school sweethearts except he was actually my bully. Turns out the hate was love the whole time.”

“We met in jail”

“We were in a train wreck and everyone died except for us.”

“We were playing kickball and he and I were like the best players. One day he kicked the ball over my head and a dog popped the ball and I went up to him and told him that was an awesome kick.”

“I was wanted for murder and he found me hiding in a shack and I pinned him up against a wall with a broken bottle to his neck.”

No one knows what to expect, they all find it hilarious with what he comes up with. No one can figure out if any of the scenarios he gives are real or not because most of them are so bizarre. Especially that last example.

Steve: Yeah, I don’t get to hang out with Robin a lot lately. She’s spending most of her time with her girlfriend.

Steve: … I mean. A girl. Who’s her friend.

Eddie: Right…

Steve panicking: Just like… you know… how you’re a boy who’s my friend. Right?

Eddie: Yeah, we’re boyfriends. Just two boys that are friends.

Steve dying inside: Yeah, exactly

She saw her moment and got glossed up for it

first mistake they made was casting misha collins as castiel. he sat gayly on that bed and they never recovered.

cas should have said “if dean winchester is the michael sword then i will be his sheath” to zachariah in front of dean and zachariah would think he meant that he would protect dean at all costs and dean would think he meant anal sex and the answer to which one cas was thinking of is yes

the way Shane sometimes turns an um into a little laugh

and the way Ryan sometimes turns a yeah into a little laugh

I’m a big fan of Steve “queer all along but didn’t realize it” Harrington, but in the most specific way possible, which is this: Steve was in quasi-poly queerplatonic relationships with both Tommy and Carol and then Nancy and Jonathan without knowing it. 

Like, Steve and Tommy grew up as close friends, and when Tommy started dating Carol in junior high, Steve just…kept hanging out with him, but now as a trio rather than a duo. Thirdwheeling on dates without ever thinking anything of it, attached at the hip. 

And, so, when Steve and Nancy started dating, Steve really didn’t see anything wrong with the fact that Jonathan sometimes ended up tagging along on their dates, both at Nancy’s invitation to make it a group hang out and sometimes an invite from Steve himself. 

Though nothing explicitly non-platonic ever happened, it’s only later, when Steve looks back on it, that he realizes 1) that he’d had crushes on Tommy and Jonathan he hadn’t recognized as such and 2) there was something eyebrow-raising, in most people’s eyes, about inviting a third person to tag along on your date. 

(He hasn’t broken pattern yet, though. Because now he has Eddie and Robin, his boyfriend and platonic soulmate respectively, and Robin frequently ends up crashing his dates with Eddie. Everyone is fine with this.)

idk whats funnier: that tumblr got people to spend multiples of $7.99 to add fake verification checkmarks to their blog to ""make fun of"" twitter's latest fuckup, or that these checkmarks literally do not show up for mobile users and thats why i had no idea this amazing feat of opportunistic capitalism was even happening until just now

do advertisers think they're being quirky? cute? breedable even?

the only thing I love more than skipping ads is skipping ads that told me not to

If you lost your teenage years to mental illness and/or trauma, I just want you to know that you did not "miss out on the best years of your life" and that it isn't actually too late for you to have fun, explore yourself and grow into the person you want to be. There's still plenty of time for all of that. I promise.

same goes for your 20s

Little victories every day