midgardian etiquette 101: when going to their homes, hang your coat first or in some cases, your mjolnir.

naw maybe it’s actually asgardian custom to check your weapons at the door

It was medieval custom to check your weapons at the door of the meadhall before greeting the king of the place you were going to. It was courteous and showed respect. You can see it in Beowulf. 

what i don’t understand is how that hook can hold the mjolnir.

the hook is worthy

the hook is worthy

Peter Pan would disagree.

I’ve not read the comics but I always figured Mjolnir wasn’t heavy so much as stubborn, and if it decided it didn’t wanna move it just wouldn’t. It sits on Loki, rather than crushing him in Thor 1, and in Avengers it rests on the floor of the ship, and trying to pick it up Hulk starts breaking the floor with his weight, but Mjolnir doesn’t seem to weight anything at all (If it was as heavy as Hulk implied, it would drag the whole ship to the ground right?). Mjolnir isn’t heavy, cos its not going down, instead it is a fixed point and everything else just moves around it. Hence, the hook doesn’t hold it, it merely remains in place.

so what you’re trying to say is that Mjolnir is like a chicken head

 instead it is a fixed point and everything else just moves around it. 

OK SO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING IS THAT WHEN THIS HAMMER WAS FORGED IN THE HEART OF A STAR IT BECAME A FIXED QUANTUM POINT AND THE UNIVERSE MOVES AROUND IT—AND THOR IS THE ONLY ONE WITH THE PROPER RESONANCE TO INTERACT WITH IT ON A QUANTUM LEVEL AND SO HE IS THE ONLY ONE WITH THE LEVERAGE REQUIRED TO SHIFT THE REST OF THE UNIVERSE AROUND THE FIXED POINT THAT IS MJOLNIR

THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

DUDE YOU GUYS SCIENCED THORS HAMMER THAT IS AWESOME

i just… can’t have this not on my blog.

IM SCREAMING

Gotta love Mark’s response too:

We have some sort of weird orange fungus or something in our front garden that smells like cum

this just gets funnier and funnier

When your mum asks why you’ve got porn in your computer history

Why is this the type of humor I enjoy

There’s no such thing as “pepperoni” in Italy, even though it is a corruption of the Italian word “peperoni” (sweet peppers). The most similar Italian food is “salame piccante” (spicy salami).

Then how do i order a pepperoni and pineapple pizza next time I’m in Italy?

@tedywestside your pepperoni pizza is “pizza con salame piccante” and pinapple pizza is “ho bisogno di andare in chiesa a confessare i miei peccati pizza”

everyone’s having their mid-life crises at like 19

do older generations not get fatalistic humor?? like the other day my friend’s parents were hanging around and we were joking and i was like “well no matter what i can always fling myself off the nearest cliff” and they didn’t laugh then later the mom pulled me aside and was like “maybe you should get some help, sweetie” like stfu?? help? in this economy? i don’t think so, debra

I honestly don’t think they get it as a coping mechanism, they think it’s a cry for help rather than actually helping.

i’d even say it’s past just coping and is also now a category of Stuff Kids Got Used To When No One Was Looking; not everyone using that humor is even covering up something bigger, we just stopped thinking fatalistic = taboo/unspeakable somewhere along the line, and most parents don’t seem to know why or how ~

My boss opened a door and missed me by inches, he said “whoops, almost killed you there!” My result of “Oh, if only.” Led to an awkward end of shift debrief.

This generation shares the same humor as the goddamn Addams Family and the previous generation is the White Sixties Family™ that lives next door and runs away screaming at the end of the episode

I will say that it’s interesting because this kind of humor is very, very prevalent somewhere else…

the military.

Which is honestly a place you would expect fatalistic humor to be common and used as a coping method. You’re one “oops” away from death on the flight deck, one inch to the left and you don’t have a head anymore because the jet that just landed now owns it as a wing-tip decoration. So you joke about it because lowkey you’re fucking terrified it’ll happen, but you’re also desensitized to the danger itself because you face it every single day for 12 hours at a time.

Anyway so we all know the mindset you adopt in the military because of the danger, so to realise that an identical sense of humor has been adopted by normal people should probably tell you something very important about the amount of stress modern young folks experience in daily life.

JESUS CHRIST

This really works.

This is the best song I’ve ever heard

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

I love my mom.

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy

Why’re you being mean to my mum?

goddamn it

Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances

Koop

This has 1.2 million reblogs … Ps not riskin it

1.4 almost ps not risking it

Fuck this post

2.5 million notes I hate myself

I reblogged this twice now

I’m so sorry this isn’t b99 related and this isn’t real but I can’t not skip this I’m sorry

Not taking a fucking chance

Sorry, guys, but Im not taking a chance

No chances… She’s out… And she must be protected.

How dare you

Whatcha doin to me Farkle!

i can’t risk it

sorry babes my moms just my favorite person ever

Sorry I can’t risk it

Fuck sorry guys  I love my mom

Omg I hate these things but I am paranoid. So sorry guys.

2.8 million notes

CANT RISK IT

Sorry guys

sorry 😩

IM NOT RISKING IT

I did, my mom is STILL DEAD. Works.

(Tweet from @nycsouthpaw) Kris Kobach should learn to use folders and cover sheets.

[image] Department of Homeland Security Kobach Strategic Plan for first 365 Days.

——————

Can someone caption this when you get a chance? I’m on mobile.

[Transcript for those who are having trouble reading]

1. Bar the Entry of Potential Terrorists -I. Update and reintroduce the NSEERS screening and tracking system (National Security Entry-Exit Registration System) that was in place from 2002-2005. All aliens from high risk areas are tracked.  -II. Add extreme vetting system for high risk aliens. Question them regarding support for Sharia law, jihad, equality of men and women, the United States Constitution.  -III. Reduce intake of Syrian refugees to zero using authority under the 1980 Refugee Act.

2. [Unreadable] Record Number of Criminal Aliens in the First Year -[unreadable] 193,000 criminal removal cases dropped by the Obama Administration. -[unreadable] ICE guidance memorands(?) adopted by the Obama Administration, issue new guidance [unreadable] “criminal alien” as any alien arrested for any crime, and any gang member.  -[remainder is mostly unreadable; discusses enlisting local and state goverments to aid in the decrease of “criminal aliens”]

3. [Mostly unreadable, discusses PLANS FOR THE WALL] -[unreadable] in addition to the 319 miles of existing [unreadable] covering the entire 1,989 miles planned for rapid build. [unreadable] the PATRIOT Act to prevent illegal aliens [unreadable]

[Most of the rest is unreadable]

5. [unreadable] -[mostly unreadable, the ending sentence contains the phrase “Draft amendments to National Voter…”]

That’s all I could make out. If anyone else wants to add what they can see, feel free to do so.

This is a serious breach of classified information handling. I hope he gets fired for this! Better people have been fired for less (and lost an election)

Billie Joe Armstrong adds extra “Bang Bang” lyrics at the AMAs

#i cant believe green day came back from the ashes like a pop punk phoenix just to drag donald trump

sneeze on your knuckles before a fight in order to inflict poison damage

give me the reasons not to reblog this.

they don’t exist

You don’t see many Mumford and Sons gifsets. This is really cool.

YOU DON’T SEE MANY MUMFORD AND SONS GIFSETS